TPS: Axel de Ayala [BXB]

TPS: Chapter 2

Kaenu Payton

Walang gana akong tumayo mula sa pagkakahiga sa aking kama. Kinusot ko pa ang mga mata para maka adjust sa sinag ng araw na direktang tumama sa mukha ko. I groaned as I finally stood up para isara ang kurtina sa bintana.

Who the fuck entered my room without my permission.

"Finally, you're awake," My mom said as she opened the door and came inside my room. Tingnan ko naman siya ng masama and utter the word na paulit-ulit kong sinasabi sa kanila.

"Distance," I simply said.

She chuckled at huminto. "Fine, Honey I came here to inform you na ang butihin mong Ama ay gusto kang isama sa Caravan niya mamayang hapon."

"What?" 

"Well, you your dad is running for Mayor gusto ka niyang isama sa lakad niya mamaya."

"You knew my condition Mom. I hate people. I hate anyone near me. Please tell dad, I can't comply with his request," I said habang sinusuotan ko ang aking sarili ng gloves.

I heard her sighed in defeat. "Fine, I'll tell him. Ipapatawag nalang kita kay Nana Linda once we're all done having our breakfast so that you can have yours," She said and left my room.

Wala sa sarili naman akong umupo sa aking kama and sighed. Hanggang kailan ba ako ganito? Hanggang kailan ko ba ilalayo ang sarili ko sa kanila.

I wanna have fun too.

I wanna mingle with people too, my family, have friends just like a normal person. I wanna go to a shopping mall and buy the things I like. But I can't.

 I can't.

My name is Kaenu Payton, I suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder that manifests as severe mysophobia. I receive therapy and treatment from my cousin who's a psychologist. But still, I have made no progress.

I'm hopeless.

I stood up again to do my daily routine. Every time someone enters my room I have no choice but to clean my whole room all over again until I feel satisfied. Specially the door knob where they usually touched.

Urgh.

 This is really exhausting but I have no choice. Every time I'm near with someone, especially when I feel their breaths on me. I feel so disgusted. I always panic. It feels like the world is so dirty to me.

Pero halos mapatalon ako ng biglang bumukas ang aking pintuan. Bumungad sa akin ang aking pinsan which is my Psychologist too.

Damn, she really doesn't know how to knock!

"Hi, Kae. I missed you," She exclaimed at akmang lalapit sakin pero kaagad ko naman itinaas ang kamay ko sa kanya saying she cant come near me.

She laughed. "As usual," and scoffed. "Anyways, I have a new task for you. I mean for the both of us. Yikes!" She announce excitedly and sat on my bed. Which I don't like.

"Kat, I just cleaned my bed. Get the hell out of it!" I shouted.

"Kae, wala akong dumi okay? I perfectly sanitized myself."

"I don't care, just...urgh! Just don't."

"Fine, fine! Calm down okay. Calm down." pagpapakalma niya sakin when she noticed my breathings getting faster.

Kunti nalang at magpapanic na ako.

"Breath in, breath out Kae. That's it. Good job," She say.

"W-what do you want then, anyway?" Hinihingal kong ani sa kanya ng medyo kumalma na ako.

She smiles at me at umupo sa sahig ng aking kwarto. I sincerely understand how much she wanted me to overcome this phobia of mine. Pero hindi ko kaya. Natatakot ako every time we attempt.

May inilabas siya na larawan at pinakita sa akin. If I'm not mistaken isa itong bagong bukas na bar malapit sa malaking gusali na pinagtatrabahuan ng asawa niya.

I blinked twice at napalunok ako sa sarili kong laway ng makuha ko ang gusto niyang iparating. She wants me to go to that bar and mingle with people. Damn this girl! Masasabunutan ko siya.

"Come on Kae, kapag hindi mo naman kaya aalis naman tayo kaagad."

Umiling naman ako. Makasalumuha palang ang iba't-ibang uri ng tao ay parang nasusuka na ako. Ni ang kumain nga sa fast food chain ay hindi ko magawa ito pa kaya.

"This is actually for rich people. It's a VIP club. I'm sure hindi basta basta ang makakasalamuha mo doon. Malay mo nandun na pala ang the one for you."

"The one?" naguguluhan kong tanong.

"Yep!" She nodded many times. "Alam mo, I'm really convinced with this theory that came up to my head. You don't actually need me, you need inspiration. You know a boyfriend," She added at mukhang kinikilig pa.

"B-boy...what?"

"Boyfriend. Kasi alam ko when someone popped your cherry baka doon maging normal kana. Oh yeah!"

"Ch-cherry?" Nauutal kong tanong. Bigla nalang nanglaki ang mata ko ng magets ko kung ano ang gustong iparating niya sa akin. I immediately covered my mouth when I felt something wrong on my stomach at naduduwal ako.

Agad akong napatakbo patungo sa aking banyo at doon nagsusuka. Damn this bitch! Papatayin ata ako. Pagkatapos ay kaagad kong kunuha ako aking toothbrush and brush my teeth hardly and I don't know kung ilang ulit kong ginawa. I also grab my mouth wash and do it a couple of times.

"Kae, kae~~ Oh my god. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Katara said, sinubukan naman niya akong tulungan pero kaagad din siyang napatigil dahil alam niyang wala rin siyang maitutulong dahil hindi naman niya ako malapitan.

"I'm sorry. I got overboard," She said.

I sighed and calmed myself.

"But still Kae, hindi ako titigil hangga't hindi ka sasama sa akin sa bar na 'yon. I'm your psychologist at the same time I'm your cousin. And I want the best for you. Gusto kong maranasan mo kung gaano ka ganda ang buhay. I want you to experience the fun, the excitement, to be inlove, lahat lahat. I wanna share it with you. That's why I'm doing this kahit alam kong imposible. Kasi mahal kita. Pinsan kita."

Napaiwas  ako ng tingin sa kanya habang pinipigilan ko ang sarili kong huwag maiyak. Ramdam ko naman na ginagawa niya lahat para sa akin. Yet, wala pa din.

"Thank you, Kat. Pero imposible yata mangyari yang sinasabi mo. Tanggap ko naman na mag-iisa ako habang buhay. You don't have to do this," malungkot kong saad sa kanya.

"No, no no no. Hindi ako papayag Kaenu Payton. I won't give up on you."

Napatango-tango lang ako. "Thank you, Kat."

She then smiled at me genuinely. "Are you okay now?"

"Yeah. I calmed down."

"Well, I have to go. Pupuntahan ko pa si Krist sa opisina niya. I just drop by to see you. I'll see later okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah. See you later."

I sighed deeply when she left my room. Napakagat naman ako sa aking labi and broke down in tears.

Damn it!

Bakit sa lahat ng tao ako pa ang binigyan ng sakit na ito? I didn't even enjoy my childhood days because of this.

Just why?