Habits (MGK FanFic)

Chapter 7: Lily

It was all over the news the next morning. Colson's breakdown during Merry Go Round was all over every media platform. My heart broke every time I saw his broken face as he shut down on stage. The only thing that was worse was his face this morning. He has spent the entire night puking his guts out just like I had been. I'd never seen him look so destroyed.

"I've suspended everything for two months." Ashleigh says, coming to sit next to me on the couch. "The only thing coming up is the movie premiere."

Two months to sort our shit out is what she was what she was trying to delicately put. My manager hadn't been as nice. He wanted me to keep trying to do half of the stuff and pump out a new book. I just started to decline his calls. There wasn't anything I could do. Not until everything was figured out.

"How's Colson?" I ask Rook, who is still running his fingers over the mark in my left arm. He's been doing that since he found me last night, as if rubbing it would make it go away.

Rook shook his head. "I've never seen him like this. I don't even know what to do about him."

He held back. I knew that. Rook didn't know what to do about either of us. Colson for using again and me for trying. Fear filled his eyes every time he looked at either of us.  There were so many questions running through his head. He didn't ask them though, out of respect. I knew that he had seen the undigested pills in the toilet. Rook was just afraid of not of us shattering completely.

Dub and Slim had been put in charge of Colson, whereas I was being baby sat by Rook and Ash. For now they were keeping us separated, thinking that we might explode if we were together. I could understand their reasoning. It didn't stop me for longing for him though. I don't know what I would say if he was with me, but I just wanted him. Nothing could stop me from wanting this man. As far as I know, that's how he feels as well. Even after all these years I can't decide if it's a blessing or a curse.

"What's gonna happen now?" I ask them. "Shouldn't he be in here when we decide this?"

Ash closes her eyes, trying to hold back the streams of emotions that flooded her body. "I don't even know what to do. Rehab can't happen for both of your sakes. I think maybe you guys should go away somewhere. But I don't trust you two on your own so you'd have to be supervised."

"Can he come in?" I ask her, not able to feel whole without him at the moment. Everything felt like it was breaking, I shivered.

Ash looked over at Rook, using him as the deciding factor. He put his head down on my shoulder, waiting there for a bit as he pondered his thoughts. Suddenly his head snapped up, studying my face. With a single nod, Ashleigh quickly jumped up to go get him.

Time seems to be standing still as I wait for him to come in. Like slow motion, he started walking towards me. When he finally met my eyes, our bodies suddenly lurched towards one another. I wrapped myself around him, sobbing as soon as I touched him. Colson didn't cry. Instead he clung to me as if I was the only thing keeping him alive. My fingers fisted into his blonde hair as best they could with his shorter length.

We don't say anything. There's no words to justify anything at that moment. Right now we just needed to hold each other. That was the only thing that we were capable of.

A few hours passed. Nothing happened. All six of us sat on the sectional. No one had anything to say. We didn't look at each other, all of us looking somewhere else.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Came a new voice to the group.

We all turned around to greet the man. Dark circles surrounded his honey eyes. He looked as if he was having a rough day, still looking better than any of us seated on the sectional. Pete Davidson clenched his jaw as he waited for one of us to respond.

"What are you doing here?" I flinched at the croaky sound that came from Colson's mouth.

"I wasn't not gonna fly out here after all this shit." Pete shrugged. "Looks like I came in for a hell of a time."

Ashleigh, Slim, Dub, and Rook quickly dragged him towards the kitchen. Of course we knew that they were going to fill him in on the events of the past month or so. Someone knew to the situation that would keep it private. Someone to help decide our fates. I've never felt so small before.

"Lily, I-" Colson stops himself. His eyes drop from mine, looking down.

"I don't want us to be broken any more." I said softly.

Both his hands went to cup my cheeks. "You're the one thing I never wanted to break."

The others came back in shortly. Pete sat down on the other side of me. His eyes directly drawn to the bruised mark on my arm. He took in a sharp breath as he hadn't believed it until he saw the proof.

"I think it's best if you guys come back to New York with me." Pete says.

Colson and I listened as they told us what they had planned. Tomorrow we would be driving back with Pete in our car to New York. Instead of staying in a hotel or with Pete we would be staying with his friend John and his wife. The Mulaney's were as close to rehab as we could get without checking in, seeing as how they were both sober. To my surprise they had offered it up when Pete had told them what happened.

Pete and Colson went off to his studio to talk privately. I went outside to the patio, sitting out by the unlit fire pit. Rook follows me out, offering me a cigarette. I gladly took it from him, allowing him to light it for me.

"I've never had anyone scare the shit out of me more than you have." Rook says, stealing a drag from my cigarette.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"Don't ever do that shit again." He begs. "Your like my sister. I can't lose you."

I wrap my arms around his neck, holding onto him tightly. "I want to be better."

"You're one of the best things that have ever happened to any of us." He tells me trying to reassure me that I'm enough. That I'm perfect for them.

I knew it, I just wanted to believe it more than the doubts in my head would let me.