Habits (MGK FanFic)

Chapter 20: Colson

I cheered for myself, turning around with a grin. "Another strike."

Lily rolls her eyes. "I hate you."

Running over to her I pick her up, spinning around. Her squeals made my ears ring. I couldn't resist smacking her ass. "You fuckin' love me."

"Not in front of my parents." She hissed, gutting my shoulder.

I put her down, but don't stop grinning at her. Leaning down I whisper, "Nothing could ever stop me from wanting to touch you."

She shook her head, going to grab her bowling ball. I take a seat down at the table to watch. Lily stares up at the screen for a moment. I know she's just trying to remember that it's me she needs to beat. I can picture the determination on her face right now even with her back turned. That cute little nose twitching back and forth.

"How have you two been?" Karen, her mom, asks causing me to turn to her.

I sigh. "It's been rough, there's no denying that. Our time in New York helped though. We're doing better. That's all we can really do, get better every day."

"We saw your performance." She tells me.

I don't say anything. I knew what she was talking about. The performance where I broke down. So many people keep trying to relate to me for that. Almost every interview has wanted me to open up about it. I can't talk about it though. Not when I think about it all I see is what happens afterwards.

I clenched my fist to stop my hand from shaking. "We're getting through it."

"Where's Lily?" Her Dad, Peter, asks.

"Shit." I mutter, standing up. "Imma go see if see if she went to the restroom."

They tried to protest, her mom wanting to go after her. I didn't stop though. I made my way towards the restroom. That wasn't where she was though. No she went past those doors and out the back. I went out back into the alley. Sure enough she was leaning against the wall, smoking a cigarette.

I knew she'd be here. It was a spot we found a couple of times after going here. Paparazzi couldn't get back here due to private property. The only ones who came out here were employees. If we come out here, no one bothers us though.

"Hey, gorgeous." I greet her, lighting up my own cigarette.

"I just needed a minute." Lily says.

She didn't need to confirm that she overheard her parents starting their interrogation. They wanted to make sure that she was okay. They also just didn't understand when to leave something alone. She's an only child, of course they would be a bit smothering.

"Next time you need a minute, just let me know." I stroke her cheek with my thumb.

"I just needed a moment." She stepped away from me, yanking away from my touch.

I step back. "Okay. Fuck it. Just....let me know when you need me."

I flick the cigarette away before walking away from her. My chest hurt as I felt her walls go up again. Whatever was on her mind was causing her to shut down. Maybe it was just the stress of her parents being here or her hectic schedule. My schedule has been bad since coming back but not nearly as intense as hers.

"So where is she?" Karen asked when I sat back down.

"Her editor called her with some questions." I lie, covering for her. "She'll be back in a minute."

Ten minutes later, Lily came back. She smelled of perfume, hiding the smell of smoke from her family. Her eyes were wide, looking around the whole bowling alley. I felt her leg hit mine as it kept bouncing.

I squeezed her leg, trying to her her to calm down. "You good?"

"I'm great." She says.

As her mom goes up to bowl, I quickly use the sleeve of my jacket to rub under her nose. The white powder coming off after a few rubs. I can't even be bothered to hide my frustrated tone. "Next time check your reflection before coming back."

"Colson," she softly starts.

"Nah, not here." I tell her.

I didn't have an issue with the occasional drug use. I've tried almost everything known to man after all. The thing I've been guilty of in the past is using drugs to cover up my feelings and problems. That's what we had both just done. I was trying to change from being that person, thought she was too. Plus it's not like we are out with friends. We are out with her parents for fucks sake and she's snorting coke.

"Colson." Lily calls my name again.

"I said not here." I snap at her in a low growl.

She flinched. "I was just going to say it's your turn."

I sigh, running my hands through my hair. Before going to bowl I kissed the top of her forehead, a small apology for snapping at her. My mind wasn't in the game anymore. I didn't even care as my ball rolled into the gutter. The second one only knocking over two pins.

After thirty minutes of silence or awkward small talk, we finally headed home. Thankfully it was late so we could easily disappear up to our room without many questions. Though they probably expected that something was up with the shift in our mood. We didn't say anything until our door was closed, the lock clicking.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" I ask her.

She stared down at her hands as she sits in the middle of our bed. "It was just a few bumps. It's not like we don't do that all the time."

"Jesus, Lily. We do them at ragers and shows, not to get through a evening with your parents!" Anger filling my body.

"I'm sorry." She whimpers.

"Sometimes sorry isn't fucking enough." I say. "Damn it, Lily. We are supposed to be doing better."

I thought we'd been doing better. Most days the only thing I did was smoke or drink, not enough to get me fucked up. I was under the impression that she'd been mostly clean like me. Instead she's been hiding coke for who knows how long. Did she even stop after she'd almost overdosed?

"Where's your stash?" I asked her.

"Colson," she starts.

"Where the fuck is it?" I ask again.

She scrambles to get up off the bed. Her sobs echo through the room as she digs through her purse. Shaking hands give me an almost empty bag of white powder. I shake my head, shoving it into my pocket.

"I love you, Lily. I really fucking do." I tell her. That just causes her to cry even more. "I just....I'm gonna go hang out with the boys for a while."

This time, she doesn't try to stop me. I leave her behind, sobbing on the floor. I go to the pool house where the guys are crashing since her parents are here. At the moment, I just didn't want to be alone.

"Where's Lily?" Slim asks, expecting her to be right behind me.

I just shake my head before grabbing a bottle of Jameson and chugging.