Habits (MGK FanFic)

Chapter 19: Lily

So far it has been one of the most exhausting weeks of my life. If I wasn't doing interviews or in meetings with my publishers, I was attempting to write my next book. Everything that has been put off got pushed into this week. Now it was Friday and I hadn't even dealt with the most exhausting thing...family.

Colson kisses my forehead as we watched our driver pull up with my parents. "Take a deep breath."

I leaned into his arms. We'd put off them visiting for too long. My mother had wanted to rush up here when I was in the hospital. Ash and Rook managed to convince my parents that that wasn't the best idea for that time. They'd wanted to comfort me, they were my parents after all. They just have a tendency for not filtering everything they say so sometimes they say something that crosses a line.

"Lily!" My mother calls out before pulling me into a tight hug. She squeezed me tightly, holding onto me for a long time. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

I flinch at that. I didn't want pity. Pity meant that I would think about it, something I couldn't do anymore. It wasn't healthy for me to dwell on it.

"How was your flight?" Colson speaks up, changing the subject.

I mouth him a thank you as I go to hug my dad. He doesn't hold on as long as my mother did.

"The flight was nice. I'm glad to be back on solid ground." Mom says. "How have you two been? I know it's not easy for you right now."

"Let's not talk about it right now." I suggest, my voice coming out so small.

Colson took my hand into his, squeezing it. "Let me show you guys to the guest room."

He showed them upstairs, giving me a moment to control myself. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. I don't know why I thought I could get through this trip without them bringing it up. Of course they were going to see how I was doing after the miscarriage. I just didn't want to talk about it. Nor did I want to hear about it or get pitied. I just wanted to block all the hurt and pain out of my mind.

"They're going to take a nap." Colson says, coming back downstairs. "How about we go up to our room and lay down as well? You could use a nap."

That's because I'd tossed and turned all night. I kept waking him up accidentally. He was good about it though, always trying to help me fall back asleep. I couldn't sleep though. Instead I just watched the sun rise and have been up ever since.

As soon as we were in our room I grabbed a joint. Colson said nothing as I lit it. In fact he took it from me after a few puffs, joining me in my high. We laid down on the bed, cuddling as we smoked. I fingered the buttons on his shirt, trying to relax.

"I don't know why I thought I could get away without talking about it." I whispered to him.

Colson doesn't say anything. We'd both been avoiding talking more about it. We've been doing better since our time in New York. That doesn't make things easy though. I don't know if it'll ever get easier. What I did know was that we'd only get through this together. When we weren't we almost destroyed ourselves.

"Let's go bowling tonight." He suggests.

I kiss his cheek. "You're brilliant!"

Bowling was a nice active public thing to do. They wouldn't bring up something personal in public. Plus it'll give us something to do. Since everything we are trying to be more active. A therapist said it would help with depression. So it's either earlier morning walks or activities like bowling. A few days ago Rook had taken me to Top Golf.

"No cheating this time." I warn him.

Colson smirks at me. "I didn't cheat."

"Yes you did." I poked his chest.

Last time we went bowling Colson had come up behind me and scared me on my last round. I ended up dropping the ball on his foot before it rolled into the gutter. He ended up winning because of that. I'd been so close to beating him. He was just good at everything, it would've been nice to beat him at something.

"Maybe I'll let you win tonight." He says, resting his forehead against mine.

"Or maybe I'll drop another ball on your foot." I giggle.

After an hour of hiding out, we went downstairs to face my parents. Mom has already started cleaning the kitchen. She always had to try to clean whenever she came to visit. It doesn't matter that the maid had come to clean this morning already. Dad was watching the news in the living room.

"Have you two set a date yet?" Mom greets us as soon as we walk into the room.

Colson gives my hand a squeeze. "Not at the moment. We've just been busy catching up on everything. With the movie premiering in two weeks and I have a tour three months after that, it's just been a lot."

A lot is an understatement. I have another book being released at the same time his tour starts. The cool thing about it this time is we've managed to sink up our tour dates. I'll be going with him doing my book tour in the morning and seeing his shows at night. It'll be more exhausting than any tour we've done, but it still keeps us together.

"I didn't realize you both had so much on your schedule." Mom says.

I ignore the slight dig, not sure of who it was she meant. "It's all just a bit of madness here at the moment. Colson's new album also drops a week after the premiere."

My parents weren't exactly fans of Colson's music. They liked a few songs. Most of them they didn't particularly like. Especially ones featuring explicit language or mentions of sex. Yeah, needless to say I don't take my parents to any of his shows. It's bad enough that I'm pretty sure they've seen wild videos of me on Kellyvision.

"Are you sure it's best for you to constantly be going?" She asks, taking ahold of my hand.

"It's what we have to do." I say.

Colson quickly directs the subject towards dinner suggestions. I play with my ring as they talk, not really wanting to be apart of the conversation. I didn't really want to be here at the moment, honestly. Everything started weighing down on me again.

"Lily?" Colson questions me after my mom goes into the living room to join my dad.

"It's fine." I lie.

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Also everyone please stay safe during this crazy time. Stay inside, read, work out, jam to MGK, just be safe. Social distancing is going to be one of our only defenses in this. Sending love and well wishes to everyone