Square one

Without Her

Josie's POV

I feel the warm morning sun on my skin, cracking my eyes open, squinting. I move my head slightly to see the time. 7:15. I peer around the room, her room. I had been sleeping in her bed, in her room, in her oversized shirt, for a day or two now. Everything about the last few days should have been normal, but they weren't. I kept constantly hearing Pen's words playing back in my mind, and I felt weak, upset that she was right, that I always chose to care for Lizzie's wants over my own, becoming codependent. 

"You know for weeks I have been hoping you would give me one reason to stay, instead you gave me a thousand reasons to go. Losing, on purpose, always putting yourself second. My heart can't take it and I will not wait around to see what happens to you next." 

I remember our kiss, wanting to never let go of her, even though I knew I had already lost her. 

"I love you Jojo. I love you with all of my obnoxious, selfish, evil heart." 

No! She wasn't obnoxious, nor evil, nor selfish. I love her... and she's gone. And I'm to blame. I sniffle, curling up, when there's a knock on the door. I don't say anything, and a figure comes in. I don't look up. I feel a pair of hands pick me up and place me in the person's lap. 

"Josie? Are you alright? I- I heard from Lizzie you hadn't been sleeping in your room, and I came to check on you." 

I would know that voice anywhere. Hope Andrea Mikaelson, the one and only. I had had a crush on her three years ago, and I guess after Penelope breaking up with me, I grew fond of the time spent together. But right now I couldn't think about that, all I could think about was Pen, and her words to me. She nudged me, "Hey Jo? Classes should be starting soon. I know this isn't the best time for you, I'm really sorry Josie. I- I can help you g-get dressed? I mean... if you don't want to... we can skip if you'd like?" I looked at her after a couple minutes, while she had her back turned, finding something for me to wear. I blinked when she moved over and put the clothes beside me. 

"Arms up!" 

I raised my arms, tiredly, and let her pull my shirt off, yawning. She paused a moment, her face red, as if she was thinking of something, and she pulled a shirt over my head. She then proceeded to put my feet into the legs of a pair of sweats that Pen left behind, and pulled me up standing. I looked at her, leaning into her a tad, nuzzling up. 

"Let's go get you some food."

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Hope's POV

Lizzie had been going off non stop on Josie all morning to anyone who would listen, and honestly it made me sick. Apparently she was no longer sleeping in their room and had skipped class. I had a feeling I knew where to find her, so I started to walk toward Penelope Park's room. Lizzie has no idea what Jo could be feeling right now, and frankly, I'm not surprised that the queen of mean is the one who is complaining, and not Josie. 

I knock on the door once, before opening the door slightly, slipping in, seeing a Josie, her face tear stained, curled up, with her eyes shut. I moved towards her, sitting down on the bed. I slowly pulled her into my lap cradling her, "Josie? Are you alright? I- I heard from Lizzie you hadn't been sleeping in your room, and I came to check on you." She said nothing, but I knew from her breathing that she was awake. I nudge her slightly, knowing classes will be starting soon. 

"Hey Jo? Classes should be starting soon. I know this isn't the best time for you, I'm really sorry Josie. I- I can help you g-get dressed? I mean... if you don't want to... we can skip if you'd like?" 

I don't know why I just said that. Skipping class, sure, no biggie, BUT GETTING HER DRESSED?! JESUS. I put her down turning my back to her for a moment, grabbing a pair of sweats and a t shirt that were on the floor, forgotten. I feel her eyes on me and I turn back around. She blinks at me, looking at the clothes. 

"Arms up!"

She raises her arms slowly, and gives me a big yawn. I raise my eyebrow, looking at her then pause, fixated on her chest. I take a breath, pulling a shirt over her. Landon and I were having complications in our relationship, but I could not be thinking about Josie. Fuck. I will need to tell her how I feel soon. Not now, but soon. ANYWAYS. Back to putting her clothes on. I grab the bottoms, and put her legs in the sweat pant legs, pulling her standing, and pulling them up. She sticks close to me, nuzzling into me like an absolute cutie. Shit. 

"L-let's go get some food."