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Festering Insecurities

Hope's POV

Josie quickly plops down, getting comfy in my lap, before leaning into me, turning to face me. She cups my face, kissing me softly. She nuzzles into me, continuing the kisses, getting more heated as seconds tick by. I pause, "You had something important to do, Jo. As much as I love all this, you need to take care of yourself and priorities at hand for the moment. We can always have some cuddle and kisses time later." I watch her expression change, from a pout, to biting her own lip, getting up quickly, and opening the door carefully, leaving me behind watching her hips sway. 

Returning back to Coven Day, we are now all seated in a circle. My thoughts are all over the place, rendering me to be quite on edge. My 'martyr complex', as Lizzie puts it, along with some thoughts and feelings buried deep, start to bubble once more, and before I can even find a way to silence myself, the words tumble out. "Really, some hurt feelings, and this is what you plan on us doing? Meditative exercises? No wonder I have to do everything myself." Fuck. HOPE. STOP. Stop now. Emma chimes in, bringing her hand to rest on my shoulder, "Seems it would be most helpful for some of us." She moves once more, glancing at me questioningly, I, myself, able to give her nothing in return other than a face of confusion for a brief moment. "Close your eyes. Focus on your breathing, and exhale, push out the negativity, embrace the silence." I close my eyes for a few moments, interrupted by Lizzie, bringing me to open my eyes once more, tuning out most of her babbling, apart from 'kumbaya circle time.' Lizzie drags her chair across the floor after being scolded, and sits next to me, the rest of the "lesson" passing fairly quick. 

Lizzie and I dart into the hallways after that session, both bored out of our minds, the creeping, less pretty thoughts still buzzing, though not as much as before, as if there was a source, making me feel this way, manipulating my rage, my every emotion. We bump into Bird Bo- I mean- Landon, and Wade, scurrying around the hall. "Can't see it, I lost it." I snort, "Lost what? Landon's fashion sense?" I immediately bite my tongue, "Sorry... didn't mean that." I turn to Lizzie, her face showing off how impressed she is with my badmouthing him. "You said my look was classic?" He tries to pull off a pout, but no one can beat Josie's cute, adorable, kissable pout- ANYWAYS. "And you believe that?" Lizzie cuts in, faking shock, "Sorry.... I think.... wait- no I'm not."  Wade starts to get frustrated, "Look. We're looking for the Qareen. It's a monster... it sort of makes others act like-" Landon finishes his sentence, "You." Wade goes on, talking about how only fairies can see it, and how it's on a certain plane at the moment, where it's getting closer and closer to getting on our plane of vision. Lizzie starts to get bored, rolling her eyes and fake snoring, "Ok, enough with the nerd talk. Hope, would you like to do the honors? Or shall I?" I smirk, "Ha! Too easy, no way I can get any pleasure out of it." Lizzie hits my shoulder playfully, laughing, only to be cut off by a stern look from Landon. He gives one big hero speech, which was honestly rather dreadful, and obviously Lizzie commented on it. "Ok, anyways... what's the plan?"

We make our way to the library, plopping down on a sofa, Lizzie and I chatting away, not really sure how we're supposed to help, seeing as the boys seem to think they have everything under control. "So how're you dealing with not being the hero for once, Hope?" Lizzie whispers, grinning, seeing how my knee was bouncing up and down like made. I pout, "It is rather difficult, but the boys seem so sure they can get us out of this, best give them the benefit of the doubt, right?" She chuckles, "You really expect Bird boy to solve all of this? Good luck." I nudge her shoulder glancing at Landon, "Hey, let's try being nice. I know it's hard, but we have to at least give it a shot." She groans, "Fine, but there's a catch to it. I've noticed that Josie seems to be a lot happier, and I know it's not from Landon ending things. Has she talked to you about someone new? She's got that post make out blush on a constant." I feel my face heat up, as it becomes blotchy and red, "No, I don't believe she's told me anything. I'll let you know if I do get something out of her, though." I say quietly. Gosh, pretending nothing is going on is really quite difficult. "OK! I found the Qareen's achilles heel. It seems to have a weak spot for myrrh, sinbad scimitar, and fairies." Wade squeaks with glee, but a part of me, and all it's festering insecurity comes to the surface once more, being a mean bitch. "Don't you dare even think about it." He turns to me, "Why don't you believe m-" "Can you fly? Bring people joy? Glee? Can you shoot fairy dust? No, because, just like Landon, you're doing the same thing he is with his useless training. The whole trying to fit in, it's delusional- shit. I shouldn't have said that." Landon looks at me disappointed, murmuring something I don't quite get, and I look to Lizzie for help, but she shakes her head, leaving me with nothing. But it doesn't end there for me, "If I need someone to die a lot, be a victim, bait? I know who to find, I'll give you a call." Wade storms off, leaving me and Landon to my apologies. Lizzie sneaks off, leaving just the two of us. "I didn't mean that. I didn't mean that." "Yes you did." He sighs, getting up. "The Qareen magnifies your insecurities, so you're projecting the truth you don't speak out loud to anyone else, all the buried things." Alyssa barges in, "Hey nerds. Yeah, there's a monster on campus, looks increasingly similar to the pimple Hope had last week?"