Remember When...?

35.

February 29th, 2020

Ally

I'm finally getting out of here after 3 days. Once Ben and I signed off on Liam's birth certificate, we were making our way out of the hospital doors. Ben holding Liam's car seat and me walking behind them.

My mom and dad had come to pick us up from the hospital. She got out the car to help put the car seat in the back. While me and her did that, Ben and my father stood by. When we finished, I was making my way into the middle seat and Ben was sitting behind the drivers seat.

The ride to my apartment building was quite the distance, so I took that time to try to catch up on some sleep. That idea failed because I couldn't take my eyes off of Liam. He was wide awake and very alert. I adjusted his blanket on him so he looked like a comfy potato.

When we reached my building, my mom helped me get Liam out of the car. Ben held the baby bag as we worked on getting the seat out the car. Once done, I hugged my mom and dad, thanking them for their unwavering support. Nothing is better than parental support.

Ben took the car seat from me as I led the way into the building. Walking to the elevator, I press my floor.

"Floor 12?" Ben asked when we got into the elevator. "I was thinking something along the single digits to be more your style."

"I went with 12 in support of Tobias." I exclaim.

He squints his eyes at me. When we get off, I lead him to my apartment door.

"12B? How ironic." He mocked.

"It reminded me of you." I tease.

I unlock the door, tossing my keys onto the counter and closing it behind him when he walks in.

"Small and comfy. Very fitting." He said, placing Liam's car seat on the couch. "Definitely your style."

"I don't believe you paid this much attention to me in the time we were hooking up." I exclaim.

"Oh I've paid plenty." He remarked, taking a seat beside Liam. "Too much probably."

"Don't do that." I say.

"Do what?" He asked.

"Are you thirsty?" I ask, ignoring his question as I walk to the kitchen.

"Not really." He answered.

I grab him a bottle of water anyway because I know he's lying. Guys like him are always thirsty. I grab myself a bottle and walk back to where he was. He glares at me as I place it on the coffee table.

"You'll thank me later." I stress, sitting on the arm of the couch.

He rolled his eyes as I grin.

"When are you making the move back to Philly?" He asked, changing the subject.

"Never." I reply, opening my water and taking a sip.

"Why not?"

"I'm comfortable here." I say.

"Did you think about what's in Liam's best interest?" He asked, standing up to grab his bottle of water off the coffee table.

I told you he'd drink it.

I shrug at his question, rocking Liam's seat.

"Ally, really?" He said.

"I think it's best we stay here." I retort. "I like it here better anyway."

"Did you hear what I just said?" He asked.

"Indeed." I say, taking another sip of my water. "And I've elected to ignore it."

"Ally." He said.

"Philly is just not the place for me."

"We're talking about Liam."

"I know that." I say. "And I feel as if it's in his best interest to be here."

"No, you're thinking about yourself." He said.

I sigh in frustration.

"This is why I was so skeptical on going through with the pregnancy. Or even bringing him home for that matter." I mumble.

"What does that mean?" He asked.

"It means exactly what I said." I speak up. "I knew having him was going to connect us in some way, and being that I wanted to leave Philly, it was only going to make things more challenging."

He furrows his eyebrows. I shake my head.

"Forget it." I sip my water. "You wouldn't understand anyway."

"I would if you'd explain it a little better." He pressed.

I look at him for a minute, before picking up Liam's car seat and taking him into my room. Ben followed behind me.

"It's a nice place, honestly. But it's a little too small Ally." He said.

"It's definitely not. It's suitable." I say.

"Ally, it's too small." He said.

"I don't want him to grow up in a five star location. I'm literally learning as I go along." I say.

"Learning by raising him in a small space? The two of you can barely fit in this room." He said.

I take Liam out of his car seat, holding him gently so I won't drop him.

"This is fine Ben." I argue.

"You're not raising my son in this small ass apartment." He replied.

Liam whimpers and I shush him.

"At one point in time I didn't want to raise him at all." I mumble.

Ben raised his eyebrows in shock, his eyes wide.

"What were you going to do?" He asked. "Were you going to abort him? Put him up for adoption? Ally-"

"You don't understand what being a single parent would be like. You don't know the half of it." I cut him off. "I have no idea how to raise a kid, but I'm doing it because I put myself in this situation. I should've known better."

"I get it Ally, you regret ever getting involved with me. But that's no excuse to put my child, our child, up for adoption. Let alone, terminate a pregnancy." He said. "I told you I'd do everything in my power to make sure I made this up to you. I told you that I'd be here for the both of you no matter what."

"Then you'll let us stay here." I murmur.

He shook his head. "I can't."

I stare at him, quite agitated that we're having this discussion anyway. I knew I didn't want to talk to him about this because he would say exactly what he's saying now.

"This is all I can offer." I say.

"Co-parenting? From damn near 3,000 miles away? What did they dope you up with?" He asked.

I roll my eyes, turning to walk toward Liam's crib.

"We're not having this discussion anymore Ben." I say.

"No, we are." He said. "Otherwise, I have no choice but to take you to court."

Is. He. Fucking. Dumb?

A/N: This chapter was literally ass to be honest with you. But, it's all I got 🤷‍♀️.