Remember When...?

5.

Ally

"Losing my virginity to him was a wonderful experience. Once I got used to the whole sex thing, I realized that he liked being rough. I wasn't complaining though; the neck grabs and love bites was an extreme turn on." I explain, reminiscing of my time with Ben. "Even though the sex was rough, he was very gentle...if that makes sense."

Molly chuckled.

"Was it like that for every encounter?" She asked.

"Yes ma'am it was." I say. "He taught me so much."

She nods.

"But like I said before, it took me a while to realize he was just using me for sex." I mumble. "I should've known though because every time we had sex, we would never kiss. And from what I've heard, kissing sets the mood."

"Oh?"

"Yup. The only time he kissed me was when we fucked at Wells Fargo Center, and that was because he didn't want the people to hear me moaning." I explain.

"Well that makes sense." She commented, chuckling a bit.

"I guess. The only other time after that was when we made love. And that was around the time I conceived." I say, swallowing hard. "We got into a heated argument that day."

Before she could ask another question, I stopped her.

"I won't go into detail about it because I'm still at the beginning. When we get there I'll explain." I say.

She nods in understanding.

* * *

Ally walked into her shared apartment at around 12am.

2 hours sounds reasonable for gym time, so I'll just go with that excuse, she thought of how she was going to tell Jasmine her reason for coming home late.

Sometimes it irked her that Jasmine was playing the role of being her mother. Ally clearly knew how to handle herself, she didn't need her best friend telling her what to do.

Opening the door as quietly as possible, she squeezed in and closed it behind her. She made her way to her room to shower and get ready for bed.

As she showered, she thought about Ben penetrating her body. The way he started off his movements slow, then picked up. She thought about all the faces he could've made, only because her eyes were closed majority of the time. She also thought about the countless times she apologized to him about the blood.

His dick size was unmatched though. She was surprised that she was able to take all of it...on her first time. She shuddered and squeezed her legs shut just thinking about it. He was huge.

She thought about the pain that radiated through her body as he entered her. Then how quick the pain subsided in order for him to start thrusting. She moaned just at the thought of him thrusting into her.

Grabbing her sponge, she put some bath wash on it and began to wash herself. As she was cleaning her area, she thought about how sensitive she was down there. If the pain she felt in her core wasn't noticeable, the limp damn sure was.

Thinking about Ben's hands roaming her body caused her to moan again. She was mind fucking their sexual encounters thus far, and it was leading to some pretty dangerous decisions.

Leaning against the shower wall, Ally let her hand travel down to her core. She rubbed on her clit with her middle finger, moaning at the sensation she felt upon doing so. Ben had taught her to do that whenever she was thinking of him and he wasn't there.

She grabbed the nipple on her left breast, pinching the bud between her index finger and thumb. She whimpered at the pain, which soon turned into a pleasurable moan at her simultaneous work. She felt that buildup in her again and released right after that. She wasn't done though.

Sliding that same hand down to her core again, she slipped her middle and ring finger into her vagina. She pumped her fingers in and out of herself slowly to start off.

Picking up the pace shortly after, she tightened her thighs around her hand. Throwing her head back against the shower wall, she bit her lower lip hard. She couldn't take doing this to herself, but it felt so good. And as long as she felt good, she was going to do it.

She felt another orgasm coming on. With her breathing erratic and her fingers pumping in and out of her quickly, Ally released her juices. Her knees buckled beneath her as she moaned aloud, her orgasm not as hard as it is with Ben, but hard enough.

Once she leveled her breathing, she was able to finish showering. When she finished washing herself down, she leaned against the wall. Wondering what the hell Ben was doing to her.

* * *

"If you saw Ben today, what would you say?" Molly asked.

I sit there for a second thinking about what I would say to him if I saw him, but I just kept drawing blanks.

"Nothing." I say. "I have nothing to say to him."

"Really? No mention of the baby?" She asked.

"Nope. As long as I'm alive, he will never know about this baby." I say.

"Wow." She said.

"I'm not doing it out of spite, no. I'm doing it because it's a distraction." I say. "A distraction from the heartbreak of trusting the words of a man who's known for being a hoe."

"A hoe?" She asked.

"Oh yeah. Ben Simmons is a hoe." I start. "Before the on and off with Kendall, he was with Tinashe. He cheated on her with Kendall. He was technically cheating on Tinashe with me the entire time, but no one knew about it. I was hidden in the shadows."

"Oh my god." She said.

"I refuse to be labeled a hoe, because I've only ever opened my legs for him. Ever. I haven't had sex since I conceived." I say. "He was my first and my last."

"Why do you say that?" She asked.

"Because in the words of Halsey, "I've trusted lies and trusted men"." I exclaim. "Even though he's the only man I've had any kind of intimate relationship with, our entire "relationship", if I should call it that, was based on lies."

She nods, picking up her glass of water and taking a sip.

"All the pet names, lies. All the gentleness, lies. All the intimacy, lies." I say. "Nothing about him was real, except for the goddamn chains around his neck."

She spit out her water laughing at my last comment.

I'm just telling the truth.