Remember When...?

48.

July 22nd, 2020

Ally

I've been momming like crazy this past week. Liam has been giving me hell, like someone is killing him. I've stayed up countless nights, breastfeeding and serenading. He'll be five months in four days, and I'm convinced that the routine will be no different.

Ben turned the room into a nursery a couple months back. So now I'm sitting in a baby blue space with black furniture to accommodate the space. Liam is whimpering in his crib and I'm probably losing hair. All I know is I'm tired.

Ben turned 24 two days ago, and we spent about three hours on FaceTime before we had to hang up. I miss him a lot. I wanna be in his arms, taking in his manly scent, and kissing on his beautiful light skin. The bed has been so empty without him, let alone the house.

Liam whimpering breaks me from my thoughts. I stand up from my seat, walking over to his crib.

"What's the matter baby?" I ask, picking him up.

He squirms a little, his face crinkling up as he lets out a small cry.

"I don't know what you want buddy." I exclaim.

He whimpers and I frown. He didn't poop because I don't smell it. And he can't be hungry because I just fed him not too long ago.

I hold him to my chest, bouncing him around gently. He lets out another cry and I want to let one out myself.

I decide to call my mom. It's 2AM over here, so it should be 12AM over there. I don't know if she's asleep, but I need her right now. I don't know why Liam is so cranky.

She answers on the third ring.

M: Hello?
A: Mom! Mom!
M: What's wrong baby?
A: Liam is being cranky and I don't know what to do.

I was starting to freak out a little.

M: Calm down Ally.
A: I-I can't. He won't sleep. I fed him over two hours ago, he didn't poop or anything. I don't know what's wrong with him.
M: Maybe he's backed up.
A: You think so?
M: Yeah.
A: Like constipated?
M: Yes Ally.
A: Well, how do I fix that?
M: Lay him down on his back.

I lay Liam down on the changing station, putting my phone on speaker. I put it off to the side.

A: Okay, what next?
M: Hold his legs up and move them in a cycling motion. Like he's riding a bike.

I do that, listening to Liam grunt.

M: Do that six times, then push his legs back toward him.

I follow her directions. Right after I push his legs back, he releases what sounds like a stampede of shit. Followed by some gas.

M: Did he go?
A: Yes ma'am.

The smell hits me shortly after.

"Wow." I exclaim.

Liam smiled at me and I shook my head.

M: Alright then.
A: Thank you so much ma.
M: Any time. Kiss Liam goodnight for me.
A: I sure will. Bye mom.
M: Bye baby. I love you.
A: I love you too.

Then the line goes dead. I grab what I need to change Liam, continuing to shake my head at him.

"Wait til daddy hears about this." I say.

This literally just made my week.

* * *

I'm now on FaceTime with Ben, telling him what happened.

Your son is hilarious.
What'd he do?
He decides that he's going to fuss for an hour to keep me up.
Did you figure out what the problem was?
Yeah.
What was it?
He had to poop.

He furrows his brows at that.

Like he was constipated?
Yeah.
Oh shit.

He was chuckling at that.

I didn't know he was constipated until I called my mom. She told me what to do and it worked.
Oh that's crazy.
I know. He's been out for a minute now. So that must've did the trick.
It sure did. Haven't heard a peep out of him in a while, huh?
Not a sound.
Learn something new everyday.

I grin, glancing over at Liam in his crib.

So what's up? How are you doing?
I could be better.
What does that mean?
I miss you. Like crazy.
I miss you too.
How's the Bubble treating you?
Could be better.

I giggle at him mocking me.

How does it feel to be back out there with the guys?
It's odd. But exciting.
Odd how?
There aren't any fans in the arena. The bench is split six feet apart; everybody has their own seat and Gatorade station.
Oh nice.
Yeah. It's definitely a different feel.
Do you think that'll be the new normal?
For right now at least. Everything will be back soon, I'm counting on it.
How's testing going?
It's a little aggravating getting tested every single day. But health is very important right now.
I've seen the virtual fans. How's that working out for you guys?
It's different, like I said. I'd love to see you and Liam up there though.
I'm sure you would.
Why don't you get up there?

I shrug.

What does that mean?
I don't know how I feel about being seen yet.

He blinks at me, before shaking his head.

You're entitled to feel that way, so I ain't even gone sweat it.

I shake my head at him now and he chuckles.

There are talks about immediate family being allowed into the bubble soon. Would you be open to coming down here?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind.
I thought you didn't wanna be seen though?

I gape as he smirks.

You tricked me.

He laughs.

All love baby girl.

I roll my eyes at him.

Seriously though, I want you guys to come down here.
I'll see what I can do.
You were so confident in your answer a while ago. What happened?
You betrayed my trust, now I have to find a new cover.

He laughs whole heartedly at my response. I smile.

Goodnight Ally.
Goodnight Ben.
I love you.
Same.
Say it back.
I love you tooooo.
Thank you.

I giggle and hang up the phone. I stand up and place my phone into my back pocket. I go to check on Liam to make sure he's okay before leaving his room and going to the room Ben and I share.

I was surprised when sleep found me because it doesn't come as quick anymore. I've been deprived of sleep since Liam made his entry into the world.

I wouldn't have it any other way though.