When The Laughter Stops

Ch 36

I groan awake lifting my head up from the pillow as I'm laying on my stomach, noticing I'm still in my clothes from last night. I then see Natasha leaning against the headboard awake as she looks down, lost in thought.

"Natasha?" I rasp and she jumps slightly turning to me.

"What time did you get here? I didn't hear you come in last night." I mumble as I slowly turn myself around so I'm also sitting up against the head board.

"W-what do you mean? You don't remember last night?" She asks.

"No. I assume the boys brought me in as I'm still in last nights clothes." I clear my throat going to reach for her hand but she pulls away getting up from the bed.

"What's wrong?" I ask as I rub one of my temples.

"You honestly don't remember?" She asks in disbelief.

"No Natasha. Now tell me what's wron-

"What's wrong is that last night you almost borderline raped me!" She exclaims, her voice strained.

"W-what?!" I ask in disbelief not believing her words.

"Nat-

"You were so drugged out and drunk! You were rough and I exactly wasn't in the mood to be with you like that. I didn't like that side of you J-

"Then why didn't you get me off or knock me out-

"Because you're strong! If I didn't knock you out I was scared that you would just get more angry." She says and I look down putting my face in my hands before looking at her.

"Natasha I'm so fucken sorry. I swear on my life I didn't mean that shit. I swear! Please believe me." I plead getting out of bed to make my way towards her but she takes a step back and my heart tugs.

"Please Natasha please believe me. I don't remember any of it. Please forgive me. I won't ever touch a drop of alcohol again, any drugs. I won't commit any crimes. I'll even close the club just please Natasha. Give me a chance to redeem myself." I say clasping my hands together.

"So you weren't going to stop any of that before?" She asks with a disappointed scoff as her eyes get glossy.

"I was but I was protecting my image-

"Your image? James, your image that the public sees is the one I don't like." She rasps.

"I'm trying to change Natasha. I really am but it's hard. It's like me telling you to commit crimes with me. You're asking for a full 360 change." I tell her and she takes a deep breath.

"Look, maybe we should, I don't know, take a break." She says tiredly.

"You're right whatever you want. I'll get us the first flight out of here to where ever you want so we can relax-

Natasha closes her eyes sadly.

"No J, a break from us." She says and I stop.

"W-what? You- you can't be serious." I say with a sad chuckle and she doesn't say anything.

"Alright you got me." I nod hoping it's another 'gotcha' moment.

"I have to put myself first James." She says.

My heart drops and I don't think twice as I drop to my knees infront of her.

"Please Natasha. I'm begging you to give me a second chance. Please. You keep me sane." I say as I hug her legs.

"I can't. I'm asking a lot from you and, I don't know if you can give me what I want right now." She sniffs.

"I'll go to a rehab and fix my fucked up brain Natasha. Just please don't give up on me. Don't leave me." I whimper as tears slowly start to flow down.

"I want you to get help for yourself, not for me James. If you don't want to better yourself then you won't really give it your all." She says softly so her voice doesn't crack as she runs her fingers through my hair softly.

I squeeze my eyes shut as I hold her close hoping this is all a nightmare that I'll wake up from any moment. Her hands go from my hair to my shoulders then over to my forearms. 

"James, James I have to go." She says as she tries to get my arms off her waist.

"Please Nat." I croak stuffing my face further into her.

"I'm sorry for everything I've done. I won't hurt anyone ever again. I won't hate your family or your friends. I'll do whatever you want me to do." I say not knowing what to say so she won't leave.

"I want you to let me go. It's not a break up James, I just need time to think on what I can handle from you." She says wiping under a eye.

"I'm telling you I'll do anything to prove myself. I won't even speak out of turn. I'll stop everything. Just say you'll stay." I whimper.

"Please James, I need to go." She says as she gets my arms off of her.

She then steps away looking down leaving the room without looking back.

~

Later

I step out of the room and out to the front where I see Regina, and some of my other guards including Bruno and Jonny.

"Hey- what's wrong?" Regina asks as she sees me.

"We're not opening tonight." I say dully.

"What?!" They all exclaim.

"But boss we've never not opened before." Bruno says.

"We're not opening tonight." I shake my head.

"And you guys have the day off. Everyone go home. Even you Regina." I say then go back to the back room without another word.