Life in a Spiral.

A not so romantic proposal.

"Anjali, an year has passed since Aisha  has left us, I tried a lot to destroy myself just in the way cancer destroyed her, her dreams, our dreams and our love. "

I know Rohan. Things are not the same like before. My dad who taught me since my childhood how to face life tragedies boldly has completely broken down. My mother, no longer remains exited about a new recipe. They are living because they have to live.

" How perfect were our lives, one year ago, wasn't it? I was about to marry my girlfriend of eight years, our parents were happy for us, you were doing so good in your college, and then one day a blood report destroyed our lives in a way never to be same again."

Cancer is the cunning mistress who destroyed a family tied with bonds of love.

"In our case he was so much in love with my fiancee that he lued her from me. My years of love wasn't strong enough to bind her to me."

You are talking to me in an open way, for the first time after months. Does it mean something special.

"You have got good catching power unlike Aisha, she was so innocent she could never read between my words."

I smiled. Yes, my sister was innocent. She couldn't even steal the milk powder effectively from the rack. My sweet, innocent sister. Alas! Her sweetness couldn't prevent Mr. Leukaemia from attacking her.

"Will you marry me Anjali?"

I cried out, "What? Are you drunk?"

"I am in my senses. I don't want to give you any fake notion. On her death bed, Aisha had asked me to promise to marry a good girl. To move on in life. I can never give anyone else the place I have reserved in my heart for her. I have to keep her last promise. I have thought a lot on this. I don't want to marry any girl who would compete to take her place in my life. I don't want any girl who would feel jealous of  her position in my life."

But why me? You can marry anyone else.

" I don't think there would be any girl who would marry knowingly that her husband wont ever love her. You have undergone the same kind of loss as mine. You have lost your sister, your best friend. I have lost my love."

You want me to marry you just because of my sister's promise?

"Kind of yes. I promised Aisha I would  marry someone. I promised her I would take care of you. If you agree to marry me I can fulfil all my promises."

Do you know I used to call you my "brother in law"? You want me to call you husband?

" we both are broken people Anjali. Broken by love. You have lost someone dear to your heart. Only you can understand my pain. No one else would. I no longer dream of marriage as I did once. I won't ever fall in love with you. I can never create a romantic relationship with you. Yet, I ask you to marry me. Maybe I am asking a very selfish demand. I can give you one assurance. You won't ever feel disrespected by me. I shall be your friend in need for life. "

I don't know what to say.  I am confused. I am just twenty one do you know that?

"I know you are too young to marry. I know you are still studying. I never asked you to stop doing that. In fact you shall be continuing with your studies. You can continue your life just as you are doing. Just you will miss the proposals from your classmates as your status would change to "married". I will never stop you from doing anything you like."

I smiled at his sense of humour admist such circumstances.

I remembered once I had asked my dii  "If you have to choose between a person who loves you and a person who respects you whom shall you choose?"
She replied " the one who respects you."

"You know why because a person who knows to respect you will respect your position in his life. The one who loves you can stop loving you and forsake you in the name of love for someone else."

I have known Rohan from a long period of time. I know he is a good person at heart. Yet, taking a decision whether to marry him or not was a difficult task.

I longed for a life long love. I wanted a fairy tale kind of love but here Rohan was asking me to marry him even after knowing he won't ever try to fill his heart with love!

Inspite of knowing all the consequences of such a marriage I said " Yes, I will."

I am always attracted to try out my luck where I can be the unluckiest. A voice in my heart asked me to make this venture without knowing the destination and I listened to it.

Dii refers to Elder sister.

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