Life in a Spiral.

The Diary.

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Rohan slept in the next room. I didn't even realise when I had fallen asleep last night. My pillow soaked with tears after being scolded for plucking rose without taking permission. Today I realise you should never ignore your parents advice. Mother always used to say, never pluck flowers from parks and other's garden without asking them, but she didn't teach me, I have to ask before plucking flowers even in my own home, that too from my husband. I won't even step in his beloved garden from today onwards.

I freshened up and realised it was already 8'o clock. Rohan must have left for office. I was about to go downstairs when I found a sticky note on the door. "Sorry, for over-reacting Anjali. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Although I was still angry with him, but unknowingly a smile curled up on my lips. This was sweet! In a way romantic too! Who apologises by placing sticky notes on the door! Someday I wish the sorry to be replaced with "I love you Anjali."

Anjali! There's nothing romantic in a sorry note. Move downstairs. Nobody wants a daughter in law who sleeps till eight A.M.

Hey mind! Sometimes you do speak sense!

Although there's nothing romantic about a sorry note yet I carefully placed it inside a book.

"Mom, I am sorry... I got up late."

"There's nothing to be sorry about it. Have your breakfast. "

"Has Rohan left for office?"

"Yes, he leaves around seven every day."

"Which office is so inhuman to make a person work for more than twelve hours?"

"Office isn't inhuman, but if employee personally wants to be inhuman, how can the office help?"

"Mom, I cannot understand what do you mean to say."

"Rohan leaves early and returns late on purpose, he doesn't like to stay at home since Aisha's death. Even if he is at home, he rarely talks with anyone of us. Most of the time he spends in the garden. "

"Didn't you try to stop him?"

"The only person who could have stopped him was Aisha. We didn't restrict even for a second when Rohan decided to marry you. You have some features similar to Aisha. I just want my son to lead a peaceful and happy life. Only you can bring some happiness in his life. Sometimes the wife can do tasks which a mother cannot. "

I will bring happiness back in his life. I promised myself.

I found the diary he saved so dearly on the bookshelf. I flipped through it and found a note on the first page.

I was a nerd who knew nothing other than books. An anti-social person who preferred to be in his own company. Everything was so very imperfect about me, a person who didn't know anything other than his books. I preferred unplanned road trips over movies, one who finds solace in the empty streets of Kolkata at night rather than the audience filled shopping malls and clubs. I was everything she wasn't. She was the perfect kind of beautiful. The beauty of Krisnochura during the springs, cherry blossoms clading the entire tree in pink, the beauty of a new blooming wild flower somewhere between the cracks of the walls. An isolated island somewhere in the middle of the vast seas, the rare sight of a secondary rainbow, the dancing of peacocks which was a rare sight. She defeated even them in terms of a perfect beauty. I was like a novel. Every chapter had something different to convey. Some were twisted, some were simple, some were pain and some were pleasure. Some added flavours while other ended abruptly. She was perfect just like poetry. She soothed hearts with calmness, she brought relief like the shower of rain after a hot summer afternoon. She was my oblivion. Her smile could increase my heartbeats, her smell gave me goosebumps, her words could freeze my heart just like a frozen lake. She brought sunshine in my cloudy nights. She was the sweetest perfection in my nights of chaos. I was in love with how her cheeks turned crimson red with my words. She wasn't interested in politics the way I was. She wasn't interested in knowing about Hitler's foreign policy or the communist party rule. Yet, she would smile when I failed to answer a question in class. She knew that even a nerd at me could fail to give attention to the lectures in her presence. She knew about how this studious guy scribbled her name behind notebook pages. She knew as much as it was necessary to bring a breaking dawn in my life of dark nights.
Sometimes all we need is love, sometimes a love story. Like every story we had a great love story of our journey from crazy teenagers to adults in love. Yet it suffered such an anti climax, breaking at the point of converting to an eternal love. She loved roses and I created a rose garden in her name. Everyone comes to have a view of my beautiful roses yet my most beautiful rose is missing in this garden. Oh Aisha! How I miss you every second of my life. The fact that you loved me adds more fire to my broken heart. I miss you Aisha, I do. My rose garden is incomplete without your touch and a bright smile on your face.

I have never experienced such a roller coaster of emotions in my entire life. Such a description of my dii brought tears to my eyes. Rohan is proving his love for her every day of his life. I dont know who is more unlucky, Aisha dii or Rohan. I understand why he reacted when I had plucked the rose yesterday. I will remove every thorn pricking his heart, no matter how many thorns I myself have to face in my way. I will do this today. A small step day to fill his heart with love once again, to bring back the old charming, happy Rohan back in him.