Insomnia // Billie Eilish

Chapter 10

"Well, a lot happened. You're gonna have to be a little more specific," I said.

"You're brother. What's he like?"

I sighed. "My brother's name is Mathew Jones Jr. but we call him Little Matt, because my dad's name is also Mathew. He's Big Matt. My brother used to be my favorite person. I could talk to him about anything. We were best friends. Nobody could come in between us. Then, one day... the police knocked on the door. I opened it and they said they were there for my brother."

"Open up," somebody shouted from the other side of the door before banging on it again. "It's the police!" I yelped at the sound and opened the door. One of them searched the house and the other stayed with me, holding up a search warrant. "Is Mathew Jones Jr. here?"

I nodded. "Y-Yeah. He's upstairs. What'd he do."

He pushed past me and I followed him up the stairs. He pushed the door to my brother's room open and pulled him up, pushing him against the wall. "You're under arrest for assault and possession of crystal meth."

"He somehow ended up only getting charged for the drugs and he went to jail. When he came back, he," I paused for a moment to find the right words. "He wasn't the same. He was so much different. He scared me. He abused me mentally, physically, and—uh, sexually."

Billie sighed, resting her forehead on my shoulder. "And what about your mom?"

"There's honestly not much I can say about her. She doesn't like the fact that I like girls. She didn't care about anything my brother did. They moved out when my brother got out of jail."

"That must've been tough," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

"It was. Now it's gonna happen all over again."

"You can come over whenever you want," she said. "I mean whenever. Never be afraid to call me. You can call me at three the fuck in the morning and I'll come get you. I don't give a shit." I laughed and played with a loose string on my shorts. "But no really. Don't be scared to call me. I really enjoy hanging out with you."

I nodded and checked the time. "I guess I should be getting home soon."

"Aw," she frowned. "Okay."

"We can hang out again tomorrow," I said. "But I feel bad. We never hang out at my house and now my mom and brother are there, so it'll be chaotic."

"Don't worry about it, angel," she said, standing up and stretching. My heart fluttered at the new nickname. "I'm sure it'll be fine. Even if your family's crazy, I'll come over if you want me to."

We got in her car and soon enough, she pulled into the driveway. I got out and came around to her door. She opened it and held her arms out for a hug. "Thank you so much, Billie."

"You're welcome." She beamed and hugged me, kissing my cheek. My mouth fell open and I brought my hand up to my cheek, not knowing whether I imagined that or not. "I'm sorry," she said quickly. So, I didn't imagine it.

That was just a friendly kiss. Don't get your hopes up, Mackenzie. "No, it's okay."

"Call me when you want me to come over." I nodded and she stared off as she thought for a minute, sighing. "Bye."

She waved and pulled out of the driveway. I sighed and walked inside.

"Oh, look who finally decided to show up!" my mom exclaimed. "You clearly have some behavioral issues... That's okay. I'll fix it. Say hello to your brother."

She stepped to the side to reveal my brother. Just the sight of him disgusted me. He used to look so sweet and gentle and now he made me scared to sleep with the lights off. He had an innocent smile and his eyes radiated curiosity. He always wanted to go on adventures and play. Now he wore an evil grin and looked at me with eyes full of menace. I felt unsafe and uncomfortable around him. "Hey."

"So, did you have fun hanging out with your girlfriend?" my mom asked, blankly.

"Billie's not my girlfriend," I replied quickly.

"Mhm, and that's why she kissed you, right? You know I should've seen that coming. She just looks disgusting."

"Fuck off!" I yelled. "It was just the cheek. Friends do that. Don't talk about her like that. Billie is way better than you'll ever be. All you are is ugly and toxic, and you need to get the hell out of my house and away from my dad."

She slapped my cheek and grabbed my face, squeezing it. She pulled me closer to her and laughed when she saw my eyes, glossy and red. "I'm gonna teach you how to act right, you little brat." She pushed me back.

"Like you know anything about that." Neko followed me upstairs and sat beside me on the bed. A couple minutes later, the door opened and Matt walked in. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"Oh, we're sharing a room." He smirked. "We're gonna go get me a bed frame tomorrow."

"But we have an extra room," I said, pointing towards where the room was.

"Yeah, that's moms new yoga-slash-scrapbooking room." What the actual fuck. Why? Why did she need a yoga-slash-scrapbooking room? She didn't do either of those things.

I shook my head and turned the light off but left my lamp on. "Well, I'm going to bed."

"Me too. Can you turn the lamp off?" he asked. "It's hard to keep my eyes closed with lights on."

I looked at him like he was crazy. "No. This is my room."

"Our room," he corrected, tapping my nose and turning my lamp off. I stared at the glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling.

"Hey, do you remember that time that—" Matt started talking but I quickly cut him off. I didn't want to reminisce on good times with him.

"That you shut up and went to sleep? No! No, I don't." I sighed frustratedly. He couldn't keep his mouth shut for two seconds.

After a couple of hours of twisting and turning, I decided to sleep on the couch. I was almost asleep until I heard footsteps on the stairs. I assumed it was Matt. I stayed still, hoping he'd think I was asleep and leave me alone. He slowly made his way towards the couch and sat down at the end of it. What the hell is he doing? He put his hand on my thigh and slid it under the fabric of my shorts. I rolled over, hoping it'd make him stop. I focused on acting like I was asleep and he eventually walked away.

What the fuck was wrong with him?