Insomnia // Billie Eilish

Chapter 53

"Wow. We're really doing this, huh?"

Billie smiles and grabs my hands, pulling me into her. She nods. "Yeah."

"Furniture shopping," Claudia exclaims, running into our empty living room. "Yay!"

I laugh as Billie joins in on the excitement. "I know. This is so exciting!"

"Don't get too excited," I say. "We don't need much. We already almost have everything we need."

Claudia groans. "You're ruining the experience, Mackenzie."

I raise my arms in surrender. "My bad."

-

"Ooh! Smell this." Billie shoves a purple candle in my face.

I smell it. "It's just lavender."

"I know, but it smells great." She sets the candle back down.

"Oh, my gosh!" Claudia comes back to the aisle that I'm on. "How could we forget? You guys need picture frames."

"Why," Billie asks, smelling another candle. "We don't have any pictures."

She holds the candle up to my nose and I smell it. "That's a good one," I mumble.

"Well then we can print some out," she says.

"I don't even know how to do that." Billie sets the candle down and turns her attention to Claudia.

"Okay. Well, I'm doing it."

-

I grunt as Finneas and I walk through the door with a couch. "This would be a lot easier if you weren't sitting on it, Billie."

"Less talking, more walking," Billie says, shushing me. We get into the living room and set the couch down. "That wasn't so hard, now was it?"

I wipe my face with my shirt and give her an annoyed look, replying with a sarcastic, "not at all."

"Where's Claudia," Billie asks.

"She went to Walgreen's to pick up some pictures I think," Finneas replies, shrugging.

I look over at Billie and she rolls her eyes, smiling. "Mom's on her way. She should be here any minute now."

As if on cue, Maggie walks through the front door. We finish unpacking stuff for the day and everybody leaves besides Maggie. I sit down on the couch. "Well, I need to get going soon," she says. Billie stands up to hug her and Maggie puts her hands on Billie's face. "My last baby."

Billie looks up, her cheeks turning pink. "Mom."

"I'm sorry. You're just growing up so fast. I'm so proud of you. I can't believe you're moving out so soon. You've already created such an amazing life for yourself." Maggie kisses her forehead and Billie hugs her.

I stand up and Maggie puts her hands on the sides of my face just like she did Billie. "Mackenzie." She sighs and tilts her head a little. "You are sure taking my daughter away from me fast."

I laugh and scratch the back of my neck. "Sorry," I say in a questioning tone. I don't know how to respond to that.

She laughs. "I'm just kidding. You make Billie happy. That's all that matters."

"Okay." I glance at Billie out of the corner of my eye. She's laughing.

Maggie hugs me and then leaves after telling us goodbye one last time. "Well," Billie says, slinging an arm over my shoulder. "You're outta luck, Jones."

"Why?"

"Now it's really gonna be bad for you if you break my heart." She shakes her head, clicking her tongue.

"And why is that?"

"Not only will you have to deal with my mouth, you'll have to deal with hers." Billie scrunches up her nose. "I'm joking, but she really likes you. That's new."

"What do you mean," I ask.

"She doesn't usually like anybody I date. Probably because most of them weren't very serious relationships. I dated a lot of bad people."

"Oh."

Billie walks over to the fireplace where Claudia set up a bunch of picture frames. "Oh, my God," Billie says quietly, laughing to herself as she picks up a picture frame.

"What is it?" I stand on my tippy toes and look over her shoulder, examining it. It's a picture of me kissing Billie's cheek. I remember that. It was taken when we had a picnic. She sets the picture back down and I look at the rest of them.

There's one of Billie walking around with me thrown over her shoulder. One of Billie and Brian when they were wearing matching outfits. I continue looking at the pictures for a few minutes. Billie lays down on our bed and yawns, covering her eyes with her forearm. "I'm gonna go take a shower. Are you gonna be awake when I get out?"

"I don't know," she mumbles tiredly.

I kiss her head. "Okay. Goodnight, baby."

"Night, mamas."

I grab a towel and one of Billie's T-shirts before going into the bathroom and taking a shower. Since Billie already said that she was probably going to be asleep, I don't rush in the shower. When the water starts getting cold, I finally get out. I get dressed and walk back into the bedroom, soft snores escaping Billie's mouth.

I climb into bed next to her and sigh. She's so pretty. I close my eyes and try to go to sleep for a few hours, but I can't stop worrying about Brian. What if she's treating him the way she did me right now? He's only a baby. I reach over and grab my phone, sending Matt a text. The three dots that indicate he is typing pop up for a few seconds and then vanish, leaving me on read. You've got to be kidding me. The little bitch.

I'll kill him.

"Oh, hell no," I mutter, sliding out of bed. I grab my phone and call him. After a few tries, he finally answers.

"What the fuck do you want, Mackenzie?"

I walk out to the backyard so that I don't wake Billie up. "For you to answer my damn texts. Is he okay?"

"He's fine."

"I don't believe you. Let me see him."

"I'm not doing that. Go the fuck to—"

"Mathew," my mom yells. "Who is that?"

"Oh, uh—Mackenzie."

There's some moving around and then I can hear my mom's voice again. "Stop calling him. Stop texting him. The kid isn't your concern right now. You'll find out how he's doing if your pathetic little attempt at custody ever works."

I lower my eyebrows. "You don't even know his name!"

"Yes, I do." Her voice is muffled for a second as she asks what his name is. "It's Ryan." She finally says.

"It's Brian, you bitch. You can go ahead and hurt him. It'll just make getting custody of him easier. He'll be out of there soon enough." I click the red button to hang up, hoping that she won't hurt him now that she thinks it'll help me.

I walk back into our bedroom and lay down. "Is everything okay," Billie asks.

"Yeah, it was just—uh..." I sigh and shake my head. "It was Matt. There's nothing to worry about. Did I wake you up?"

"I woke up before you got on the phone. You kept twisting and turning."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, baby." She pulls my head into her chest and throws her leg over mine. "It's okay. What's keeping you up?"

"I'm just worried about Brian."

"He's gonna be okay," she says, running her fingers through my hair. "Just try to go to sleep."