Insomnia // Billie Eilish

Chapter 16

I called Billie and she picked up after the first ring. I'd been locked up in my house for a week and I'd had no way to contact her. "Hello?"

"Billie? Listen. I am so, so sorry. I can't explain right now. I have to be quick. Can you meet me somewhere?" I asked, severely out of breath.

"Meet me at the small coffee shop just around the corner from my house," She said.

"Okay."

Soon enough, I arrived at the coffee shop and sat at a table in the corner. A couple minutes later, Billie walked in and I stood up. She ran up to me and opened her arms for a hug. I flinched and blocked my face with my hands.

"I'm not going to hit you!" she said.

I lowered my hands. "I know. Sorry. It's just a habit."

She wrapped her arms around my waist, squeezing me and resting her chin on my head. It made me feel like everything was going to be okay again. "I'm sorry. I'm—ugh—I'm so sorry, Bil."

I sat down at the table and she took the seat across from me. "It's okay. We're here now. Let's just talk. What's been happening. You haven't been answering my text messages or calls. You haven't been at school."

How did she know I wasn't at school?

"I'm so glad you're finally over that freak. You just need to find a boyfriend and stop dating girls. You're doing really well. I'm proud of you." My mom took another sip of her beer and I popped my fingers. "I mean, she was ugly. And weird. And all I had to do was keep you isolated for a week."

I stood up, abruptly. "I can not believe you have the nerve to sit here and talk about her like that. Billie is the most talented, amazing, beautiful person I know and if you think that keeping me away from her for a week is gonna make me stop wanting to be with her, you're sorely mistaken." I let out a laugh of anger and took a step towards her. "There is nothing you can do that'll make me stop liking Billie." I pushed her back as hard as I could and she hit the side table, falling backwards. She grabbed the back of my shirt and yanked it, making the collar choke me. "What are you doing?"

I shrugged her off and opened the door, my eyes stinging with tears. "I... I don't deserve this." I looked at her. "And you can't tell me otherwise anymore."

"Aw." She laughed, skeptically. "Is that what Billie told you? That's cute. You're disgusting, and a disgrace. You need to be sent away. People like you shouldn't exist. Don't worry. I'm gonna start sending you to conversion therapy. They'll fix you."

"You can't make me believe that anymore. I'm not a disgrace." I stared at her for a minute and then I was overwhelmed with a new wave of anger. "I can't... " I scratched my forehead. "I just—I just hate you." I couldn't find words to describe how I felt about her. And it was extremely frustrating.

I slammed the door and sprinted down the sidewalk. My heart pounded in my chest and the pavement was a blur. I kept running until I nearly collapsed into a wall. I pulled my backpack off my back and sat against the bricks.

I grabbed my iron pills, putting one into my mouth and then called Billie. She answered after the first ring. I was not going back to that house.

"And now I'm here," I explained what happened to Billie—minus the, shoving my mom and the "I'm not going back" part.

"I'm sorry. I was mad at you for this and it wasn't even you're fault. And I knew that. I just—you are so, so important to me and I like you so fucking much."

I sighed and then laughed right before I started teasing her. "You like me."

"Shut up." She laughed.

"Billie has a crushie wushie."

"I hate you."

"You couldn't." I smiled.

"I assume you don't wanna go home, soooo you wanna come over?"

"God. Do you even have to ask?"

We drove to her house and decided to watch movies.

-

"Alright, It's your turn to pick the movie," I said, handing Billie the remote.

She grinned, mischievously. "Let's watch Insidious."

"Oh, that movie's not even scary anymore. I already watched—"

Billie cut me off. "Chapter Two."

"Billieee." I drug her name out. "I hate horror movies."

"Well." She shrugged. "It's my turn."

Only about ten minutes in, I started getting scared.

"Aah! Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew! Why does she look like that?" I groaned and hid my face in Billie's arm. She laughed.

By the end of the movie Billie was asleep. This bitch. She made me watch that scary movie and didn't even stay up. I turned the tv off and rolled over. For the next fifteen minutes, I listened to Billie toss and turn in her sleep.

I finally rolled over to look at her and she pulled me towards her, wrapping her arms around me. I rolled over again to face away from her. I didn't want her to wake up and see my face right in front of hers.

After that, I stayed very still, enjoying the feeling of Billie's body pressed against mine and her arms wrapped around me. I didn't want to move in case I woke her up.