Insomnia // Billie Eilish

Chapter 60

There's a knock at our bedroom door and then Zachary's voice comes next. "You're grandmother needs you two downstairs."

"Okay, we're coming." We make our way downstairs and my grandma is standing with somebody in the living room. I don't know who they are.

"This is Madison. She's going to help you guys get the right size for your outfits tonight, sound good?"

"Yep." We follow them down a hallway. I stand on my tippy-toes and whisper in Billie's ear. "Regretting it yet?"

Billie, being as stubborn as she is, shakes her head. "Nope."

"Just wait 'til you see what she makes you wear."

-

"There is no way in hell that I am wearing a dress," Billie says, loud enough for me to hear her from the room over.

"Well then, this is what you're left with," Madison tells her. I wish I could see.

I wince as my grandma pulls at a piece of my hair. "Ow!"

"I'm almost done. Just hold on."

"Grandma?"

"Yes?" She looks at me in the mirror.

"Is Dad coming?"

She frowns, shaking her head. "I couldn't get in touch with him. I'm sorry."

"It's fine." I shrug. "I don't care. I was just wondering."

She smiles. "I'm done."

"Okay." I stand up and wait in the hallway for Billie. I laugh as she walks out, wearing a suit.

"Shut up, Cameron," she says, pulling her shorts down a little.

"So... regretting it yet?"

Her eyebrows knit together and she crosses her arms. "No."

The doorbell rings and I smirk. "Oh, boy. You're going to soon."

Zach opens the door and seven people walk in. The first is Sean, my uncle. The second is Amanda, my aunt. The third is my cousin, Ashton. The fourth is my cousin, Justin. The fifth is my cousin, Owen. The sixth is my cousin, Chris. The seventh is my cousin, Paxton. "That's a lot of people."

"Billie, I have twenty-three cousins on this side of my family. You're in for a rude awakening."

"What the fuck?"

"Yeah."

In the matter of a few hours, the house fills up quickly. Soon enough, we're sitting down to eat dinner. "Y'all ain't gonna eat your pork," my uncle asks, nodding towards us. "Those leaves ain't gonna fill ya' up."

"I'm vegan," Billie says.

"Me too."

He scoffs. "I couldn't imagine. I just don't see the point."

Billie sits back, mumbling. "I'm not even gonna say anything."

"Oh, God. Please do."

Billie sits up again. "So actually..."

-

"So, what do you do, Billie?"

"Oh." One of my aunts laugh. "She's an artist."

Oh, God. I have no idea what they're gonna have to say about this. "An artist, huh," my aunt chimes in. "What do you draw or something?"

Billie bounces her leg under the table. I put my hand on her thigh and she interlaces our fingers. "I sing."

"Really? Are you any good?"

"Uhm." She scratches the back of her head. "I don't know. That's an opinion."

"Well, I've never seen ya before. Why don't you sing us something?"

"Do you play piano," my grandma asks. "There's one right over there."

She looks at me worriedly. "Guys, leave her alone. She doesn't have to sing for you."

They all start mumbling and whispering to each other. I really don't know why I brought her here. I feel so bad. "Billie Eyelash," Chris says. "That you?"

He flips his phone around, showing a picture of her. She nods. "Hm? Let's see here. "Bad guy?" He clicks on it and the familiar beat starts playing.

"Oh my God," Billie mumbles. "I'm regretting it now, Mackenzie."

"It's too late. We're here now."

Her cheeks turn a dark pink as everybody listens to the song, a few of them saying that they've heard it before.

The song is interrupted when the front door flies open and my mom stumbles in. "Sorry, I'm late."

I throw my head back as my mom takes the seat next to me. Everybody breaks off into their own conversations and my mom decides to talk to me. I have no idea why. I fucking hate her. "Hey, Mackenzie. I haven't seen you in a long time."

I shake my head. "Not long enough."

"Listen, I'm sorry, okay?"

"You're sorry?" I tilt my head. "You're sorry... you've got to be kidding me. You're kidding, right?"

"N-no," she replies confusedly. "I'm being serious. I'm sorry."

"You've got a lot to be sorry for, so please clarify." I cross my arms, waiting on her response.

"For everything, okay? I did a lot that I shouldn't have. You look so much like Lilly and I just want you to be like her. She was so perfect and I just don't know what happened to you. I wanted a daughter, you know. One that actually acted like a girl. Lilly did. She liked to go shopping and let me do her make up. And—and she liked boys."

I clench my jaw. "Well, all I wanted was a mom, but I guess we don't all get what we want, huh?"

"Mackenzie—"

"No. Stop. I'm done talking to you. I don't want to hear anything else that you have to say. Go sit somewhere else. I hate you." I look around and everybody else has already finished eating and gone somewhere else. "I'm gonna go find Billie."

I look around for a little while until I finally spot her neon green hair. She's talking to my cousin, Justin. He's one of my only cousins that I can stand. I set my head on her shoulder. "Hi."

"Is everything okay," she asks quietly.

I shrug. "Same old, same old. Do you want to go feed the horses watermelon rinds?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." I grab her hand and we go into the kitchen, grabbing the bowl before going into the backyard. The pasture is a bit of a long walk.

"So, I actually heard the entire conversation and now I want to know if you're actually okay."

I laugh. "I'm fine. I don't care what she thinks or what she has to say."

"You say that but... do you really mean it?"

"Yes, Billie. I don't care about anything she says or thinks." We finally make it to the pasture after a few more minutes of walking. I stand on the fence and call my favorite horse. He's grey with tiny white spots all over him. "Blaze. Come here, baby." I pat the fence and he makes his way over, multiple others following. "Aw." I pet his nose and then feed him part of the watermelon rind.

"They're so pretty," Billie says, petting a horses nose.

"Billie, can we go home tonight?"

"Yeah, but why?"

"A lot of them are gonna get drunk and probably stay the night, and I think I've had enough." I step off of the fence.

"Okay, baby. We can go home."

"I'm sorry. We shouldn't have come. They're all jackasses."

"It's cool, dude. We still had fun before today, right?" She raises an eyebrow. "Plus, you look fine as fuck right now."

"It is very weird seeing you in a suit, but it's cute."