Insomnia // Billie Eilish

Chapter 30

"You're kidding?"

"Not at all," Kempley said, seriously. "Bonnie and Crystal both quit the team today and Coach Jones is fuming for some reason."

"Oh no. That's never good." I shook my head and changed into a T-shirt and shorts. I hoped whatever we were doing today wasn't hard. I was already sore from yesterday. We walked down to the field and he set up a bunch of cones.

-

I leaned over, panting in exhaustion. I wished I would've drank more water today... or any. I forgot that we had after school practice. "Now what we're going to do is First Four," he stated. "For anybody who doesn't remember that, you're going to sprint to the two-forty yard line and back. That's the full field. You'll do that over and over, and each time, the first four back get to stop."

This was one of my least favorite things—well, for sure, one hundred percent, my least favorite thing to do during soccer practice. The worst part about it was, you're literally either first or last. If you're not one of the first four back the first time, then you've just wasted all your energy on sprinting as fast as your legs can carry you, but it wasn't enough. Then, you had to do it again while being extremely tired, so you weren't likely to be one of the first back again, and so on, and so forth.

And it would've been fine because I was pretty fast, but I always ended up telling myself that I couldn't do it. It usually then led to a panic attack and a bad day. This would be fun. He blew his whistle and we all started sprinting. I made it to the end and slid through the mud a little before turning around.

A weird noise escaped my mouth—it usually happened when I was too out of breath and my heart was beating too rapidly. I was, by no means, supposed to be running like that. I wasn't allowed to push myself like that, because of the hole in my heart. Hearing myself gasping for air is usually what made me panic.

My head dropped as I continued to run. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. I gasped for air as my pace slowed down and somebody passed me.

Tears pricked at my eyes and my head started spinning. I felt like I was gonna throw up. I kept trying to run and a blurry black framed my vision. My mouth was dry and it felt like the air was just gone. "Mackenzie!" Kempley grabbed me. Her voice sounded slightly muffled. I stumbled forward and then fell.

-

I opened my eyes and sat up, looking around. I was still on the field, but everybody was now gathered around me. What the fuck just happened? "Are you okay?" Kempley asked, holding her hand out to help me up. I grabbed it and stood up.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"You freaked me the fuck out. You passed out. It was only for like thirty seconds, but you can't overexert yourself like that."

"O'Conner, watch your language," Coach Jones warned. "Mackenzie, I think you should call one of your parents to pick you up early."

I shook my head. "I'll be fine." My mom probably wouldn't even answer her phone, and I was not gonna make my dad leave work. I was fine. Plus, if I got either of them to come get me, they probably wouldn't let me stay the night with Billie tonight and I promised her I would.

"Are you sure?"

I waved him off. "I'm fine."

"Well, I hate to tell you, but it's not much of a choice. You can't keep practicing after that. You can stick around and watch practice, if you want."

"Okay," I grumbled, walking off of the field. I watched them practice until 5:30 and we all went back to the locker room.

I changed into some sweatpants and one of Billie's T-shirts that I took from her. "Mackenzie, come here please," Coach Jones asked from outside the locker room. Kempley looked at me questioningly. I just shrugged and walked out. I stared at him expectantly and he ran his fingers through his hair, looking rather frustrated. "Now, don't get crazy mad or anything, but..."

"What is it?" I asked anxiously.

"So, Marilyn is nineteen, and apparently, for that reason, we can't go to state."

I took a moment to process it. "What?" I yelled. "W-what do you mean—like, why?"

"She's over the age limit."

"So, none of us can go now," I asked and he shook his head.

"They can suck my dick!" I walked back into the locker room and put my hair up in a quick bun.

"Watch your mouth, Mackenzie."

I ignored him and put my shoes on. My phone dinged over, and over, and over. It was a bunch of texts from Billie. "Damn. Who's texting you so much?" Kempley asked.

I smiled, looking down at my phone. "Billie."

billiam: babyy

billiam: kenzieee

billiam: mackkk

billiam: cameronnn

billiam: are you still coming over

She was going to be the death of me.

me: yes

I laughed and waited for her to respond.

billiam: when?

me: practice just ended sooo

billiam: i can pick you up??

me: that'd be great

I put my phone in my back pocket and looked up at Kempley. She crossed her arms. "When do I get to meet Billie? I mean, you've never even shown me a picture of her. How am I supposed to know she exists," she joked.

I shook my head, laughing. "She's coming to get me. I guess you can meet her." Billie was going to be excited. She kept telling me she wanted to meet my friends since I met hers. I'd just been nervous that she wouldn't like them. I really hoped she did, though. Especially, Kempley since she was my best friend.

Kempley's face lit up. "Yay!" I grabbed my backpack and Under Armour bag before pushing through the double doors, Kempley following. I looked around for Billie's car, spotting it after a minute.

I walked over and she opened her door. "Hey, baby." I gave her a quick kiss.

"Holy fuck, Mackenzie," Kempley said, pulling me aside.

"What?"

"You didn't tell me that you're dating Billie fucking Eilish."

"You can't tell anybody," I replied, seriously.

"Of course not! I'm not gonna tell anybody," she said like I was stupid to think that I even needed to tell her.

"This is Kempley," I said, pulling her back over to Billie.

"I'm Billie." She gave Kempley a toothy grin, making her cute ass dimples visible.

A horn honked and I jumped, looking behind me. "Oh. That's my mom. Gotta go. Love you, M. Nice meeting you, Billie."

"You too," she replied, quickly.

I got in on the passenger side and Billie let out a breath, shutting her door. She started driving and put her hand on my thigh. I put my hand on top of hers and interlocked our fingers.