Insomnia // Billie Eilish

Chapter 37

This chapter will be in Billie's point of view.

I scrolled through Instagram and saw Mackenzie's most recent post. It was a picture of a nearby airport and it was captioned, "goodbye, California." It was posted half an hour ago. I thought for a minute before grabbing my keys and running out of my room. "I'll be back soon, mom." I quickly got in my car and drove to the airport. There was absolutely no way I could let her just leave. I couldn't imagine never getting to hear her voice or hold her again. I wanted to know the truth. I wanted to know why she really broke up with me.

She couldn't just leave and start over with somebody else. I didn't want her to find somebody new to watch The Office with until four in the morning or to scratch her back and hum to her when she can't fall asleep. Somebody who wouldn't know what her scars were from or why she flinched when you moved towards her. Somebody who would get annoyed when she called for no reason, but to hear their voice. I didn't want her to find somebody to put their lips where mine have been or their hands where mine are supposed to go. Somebody who wouldn't appreciate the way she looked right when she woke up and her hair was a mess, and she can't find her other sock. I didn't want her sliding across the floor in her knee-high cartoon socks at midnight with somebody else's oversized T-shirt on. She was my baby. My person.

And she wouldn't find anybody that would love her and appreciate her as much as I did, because I loved her so, so much. I didn't know that it was possible to feel that way about somebody. I couldn't function right without her. I wished I would've told her that I loved her, but I was too scared. Maybe she wouldn't have broken up with me. I wiped the wetness off of my face from tears.

I ran through the airport, looking for Mackenzie. My vision was blurred from tears and I ran into somebody. I got up and started running again, mumbling a quick apology. They grabbed my hand. "Billie?"

I turned around and wiped my face, recognizing the voice. "Mackenzie."

She grabbed my arms. "Billie. You can not be here, doing this. My mom cannot see you and you cannot just run through a public area. You're famous."

"I don't care who sees me, Mackenzie! I know that I'm not perfect. I can be annoying and I sometimes say stupid shit. I know I'm not always the best girlfriend, Mackenzie." I paused for a minute. "But I also know that you care about me as much as I care about you. You've always made sure that I know that. I also can tell when you're lying. And you were lying. Mackenzie, please just—just tell me the truth," I begged. I didn't even bother to wipe my tears anymore. "I'll leave you alone forever if you want me to, but I love you and I want to know the truth. I deserve to know the truth."

She pressed her lips to mine, sliding her hand into my hair. I stumbled back a little and wrapped my arms around her waist, kissing back. Cameras flashed around us, but at that point, neither of us cared. She glanced around before lowering her voice to just above a whisper. There were a lot of people gathered around us, but none of them dared to come up to me. I was sure I'd be in trouble with my label for that later, but I didn't care. "My mom is a psychopath. She might hurt you and I'm not letting that happen. She made me break up with you. I love you too, Bil. I love you so fucking much." She looked down and cleared her throat. "But I will not be with you if it means that she might hurt you."

"We can figure it out." I grabbed her hands. "I think I have an idea."

"Billie—"

"Just hear me out... Please?"

"What are you going to do?" she asked.

"I need you to get a video of her threatening me."

-

I crossed my arms and stared at Mackenzie's mom for a minute before getting closer to her. "What do you want?" she snarled.

"Do you know who I am?"

"Do I look like I care?"

"You will," I assured her, raising my eyebrows. "I have over sixty-two million people who would be very upset if they knew you threatened my life, and I assure you that if I die, you will too. Hell, if they knew about this, they might kill you before you could kill me. My fans don't bullshit."

"Why would I believe this," she asked, although she was clearly afraid. I pulled up my Instagram page and handed her my phone. She scrolled through, looking at my posts to make sure it was me.

"Okay," she said quietly. "But you don't have any proof."

"Mm." I clicked on my messages and played a video of her basically reminding Mackenzie that she had a gun and wasn't afraid to use it.

She stared at me for a minute. "What do you want me to do?"

"Turn yourself in. For everything. Admit to it."

"I didn't do anything illegal." She smiled, mockingly.

"Bullshit," I yelled. "You abuse your kids and you threatened to shoot me." I look at her like she was stupid. "And don't think I'm not aware of the drugs. I have a lot of money and I can make a lot happen. Turn yourself in. They'll be happy to know where everybody's been getting the drugs."

"That's crazy," she yelled.

I slammed my hands down onto the cool surface of the table, making her jump. "You're crazy!"

She put her head in her hands. "I'll leave. I'll get out of town."

"How am I supposed to know that you won't come back?"

"I don't want to be here anymore! Why the fuck would I come back? You're the one that has information that can ruin or end my life!"

I thought about it for a minute. "Where are you gonna go?"

"I have family in Tennessee. I-I'll go there."

I sighed. "You better not be bullshitting me."

"I'll leave. I will. I just need to get my stuff. The house hasn't been sold yet. I'm sure they can keep it. Just—just let me get my stuff and I'll go."

"I can give you a ride and a plane ticket, but don't try anything stupid. I have bodyguards." I started walking out, motioning for her to follow me.