Insomnia // Billie Eilish

Chapter 21

I closed my eyes as Claudia put eyeshadow on me. "So, you and Billie are like officially dating now. Aren't you?"

"Yeah." I smiled.

"Damn," she said, shaking her head and grinning. "Finneas owes me ten dollars."

I laughed. "You guys made a bet on it?"

"Yeah." She closed her eye shadow pallet and I opened my eyes. "He didn't think you guys would get together for a while, if you did at all."

I nodded. "Why?"

"Finneas didn't think she'd have the guts to ask you out and I did."

"Oh."

-

"You play ukulele?" Claudia asked.

"Yeah. A little. I'm not very good. I only know a couple songs."

"Practice makes perfect." Claudia sat on the bed. "Play something."

I thought for a minute and started doing the strumming pattern for 8. After the song was over, Claudia laughed and held her phone up to her ear. "Billie's gonna love this."

I listened closely. She recorded me playing. "Claudia!" I walked over and looked at her phone. She sent it. "You're so annoying." I thumped her head and sat down on the bed as I put my hands on my cheeks to conceal the redness that was surely there.

"It was good."

-

Billie fell backwards onto her bed, dragging me with her. She snickered to herself before talking. "That video Claudia sent me was—"

"Noooo," I cut her off, throwing my head back. "Don't even talk about it."

"Fine. Fine..." She paused for a minute. "What's your favorite song to play?"

I thought for a minute, not knowing whether I wanted to share my actual favorite or not. I didn't want her to think it was stupid. "Dancing In The Sky."

"I've never heard it before. Wanna play it?"

"Oh. I—uhm." I bit my lip and she handed me her ukulele. "Okay."

I started strumming with occasional taps. I didn't like singing in front of people unless it was with other people. Especially not in front of someone with a voice as amazing as Billie's. I took a deep breath and started singing.

Tell me, what does it look like in heaven?
Is it peaceful? Is it free like they say?
Does the sun shine bright forever?
Have your fears and your pain gone away?
'Cause here on earth it feels like
Everything good is missing since you left
And here on earth everything's different
There's an emptiness
Oh, oh, I
I hope you're dancing in the sky
And I hope you're singing in the angel's choir
And I hope the angels know what they have
I'll bet it's so nice up in heaven since you arrived
So tell me, what do you do up in heaven?
Are your days filled with love and light?
Is there music? Is there art and adventure?
Tell me are you happy? Are you more alive?
'Cause here on earth it feels like
Everything good is missing since you left
And here on earth everything's different
There's an emptiness
Oh, oh, I
I hope you're dancing in the sky
And I hope you're singing in the angel's choir
And I hope the angels know what they have
I'll bet it's so nice up in heaven since you arrived
Since you arrived
Oh, oh
(What does it look like in heaven?) Yeah, yeah
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, I
I hope you're dancing in the sky
And I hope you're singing in the angel's choir
And I hope the angels know what they have
I'll bet it's so nice up in heaven since you arrived
Since you arrived

I looked up at Billie and set the ukulele down. "God." She sighed. "I fucking love your voice."

I looked down to hide my face as it heated up. There was a loud knock at the door and Billie looked at me, eyebrows furrowed. She licked her bottom lip before taking it between her teeth. We were quiet for a minute until we heard it again. She rolled her eyes and walked down the stairs with me following close behind. She opened the door and my mom stood there with my brother behind her. I turned to look at Billie and my mom yanked me by the collar of my shirt. "Cameron," she spit.

"Mackenzie." Billie grabbed my hand.

"Let her go! I'm just going to talk to her." My mom yanked at my collar again.

I grabbed my shirt, pulling it in an attempt to make it stop choking me. "It's okay, Billie. Let go."

She let go and my mom shut the door. "You're coming home. Right the hell now."

"No. Why would I do that?" I asked stupidly.

"I figured you'd say something like that, so let me just show you why." She pulled a gun out from behind her. Lord fucking knows where she'd been keeping it. "You see this? It can be up against Bobby's head in a matter of seconds."

I swallowed and took a moment to think. I didn't know if she'd actually do it. What I did know was that her parents would be home soon and that was not what I wanted them to see. "Her name isn't Bobby."

"I don't fucking care what her name is. Are you gonna come home, or is Bobby, or Betty, or whatever her name is gonna die, huh?"

"I'll come home. I'll come home. Just—just put the gun away."

"Okay," she said. "I'll be in the car. Don't kiss her. Don't hug her. Tell her you're fine and you're going home by choice. Make sure you tell her not to worry or come to our house."

I opened the door and Billie stared at me, wide-eyed. I didn't know if she heard the conversation or not. "I'm going home. By choice. Don't worry or come to my house." I turned around and ran to get in the car. It was a silent ride. The radio wasn't even on. "Why do you want me to come home so badly?" I asked, staring out the window.

"I was thinking about you and I have done a lot to you. A lot of illegal stuff to you, and... I've got to say I'm not looking for jail time. You have a big ass mouth. The only place that I could think of you being at is Billie's house, so I asked your brother to bring me there. Luckily, I found you. It's also just fun to have somebody like you to mess with all the time, y'know?"

"What the fuck..." That bat shit crazy-ass bitch.