Insomnia // Billie Eilish

Chapter 61

This chapter is in Billie's point of view!!

"Dude, don't worry about it. I'm just gonna get an Uber." She laughs.

"I don't trust that, baby," I say.

"It's gonna be fine. Don't worry about me."

"I can't help it. An Uber at like one in the morning doesn't seem smart."

"Bye, Billieeee." She laughs.

"No, wai—" Before I can finish speaking, she hangs up. "Damnit." I have a bad feeling about this.

I lay on my stomach on the couch and watch The Office on my phone.

-

I lift my head and glance around confusedly. "Mackenzie?" I stand up and walk into our room. She isn't there. I call her phone and she doesn't answer. Oh my God. I think for a minute before remembering that I have her on Life360. I quickly open the app. She's not too far away, but I don't know where it is.

I get in my car and drive to the location. There's a couple police cars and a car off the road, completely totaled and upside down. I can't help but feel sick to my stomach as I get out of my car and one of them shines a flashlight at me. "Can you please leave the area?"

"What happened?"

He inhales sharply through his teeth, shaking his head. "Some Uber driver was intoxicated. Hit somebody's car and drove off. Somebody started following them and in the end, he flipped into a ditch."

My eyes widen, but I don't want to come to any conclusions before I'm sure. "W-was there anybody else in the car?"

He nods. "Yeah. Some teenage girl. She's in the hospital."

I cover my mouth with my hand, tears pricking at my eyes. I get back in my car and drive to the hospital. It feels like an eternity before I arrive at the front desk. "What can I help you with?"

"Uhm—can you tell me if Mackenzie Jones is here?"

"Of course." She types on her computer for a minute. "She's in the ICU."

"Can I see her?"

"What's your relation to her."

"I'm her girlfriend," I say.

"Mhm." She studies me for a second. "Unfortunately, I can't let you. You're not related by blood or marriage, so with her being unconscious and none of her family here to confirm that they know you, we are not allowed to let you up there."

"What?"

"You aren't allowed up there until she's conscious and can verify that she knows you."

"Is she gonna be okay? What's wrong with her?"

"I'm not allowed to share that information with you. I'm sorry." She shrugs.

I huff and sit on a bench outside, pulling out my phone to call my mom. She doesn't answer. She's probably asleep. I wipe the tears off of my face and clear my throat. I don't want to go home and be alone tonight.

I get back on Life360. It still says her phone is in the same spot. I wonder... I quickly call Finneas as I get in my car. He answers after a few rings. "Billie, why are you calling me at two in the morning? What do you want?"

"Can you come with me? I need help. I'll explain everything when I pick you up."

"What's wrong," he asks, his voice full of worry. "You sound like you've been crying."

-

"It's got to be here somewhere," I say, shining my flashlight around.

"Why are you so worried about finding her phone? You don't even know for sure if it's here."

"I do! They said they couldn't find it. I need it so that I can call her grandma or something—somebody who can make it where I can see her!"

"Okay." He holds out his hands cautiously. "We'll find it. Don't worry."

I sigh, putting my head in my hands. "How the fuck am I supposed to not worry, Finneas. She's in the ICU and they won't tell me anything about what's wrong, but it's obviously bad if she's in the fucking intensive care unit. What if—what if something happens and I don't get to say goodbye?"

Finneas wraps his arms around me as I cry. "It's okay. I'm sure she'll be fine."

"How can you say that?"

"Just calm down and we'll find her phone, okay? And then you can see that she's gonna be fine."

"Stop saying that," I shout. "It's pissing me the fuck off! You don't know if she'll be fine, because we can't fucking see her." I step away from him. He looks surprised. "Damnit! I'm sorry Finneas." I wipe my face.

"It's okay... hey." He walks past me, putting his hand on my shoulder as he passes. He leans down and grabs something. "I think I found it."

He hands it to me and I rub my finger across the screen. It's shattered. I unlock it and go to her messages, scrolling until I find her grandma. "Call or text," I ask, glancing up at Finneas. I shake my head, answering my own question. "Call."