"At this point, I don't want to promise anything. But I know I will keep on moving forward and face the upcoming days head on."
A T L A S T . . .
IT HAS BEEN A YEAR SINCE ROSE decided to quit burning her own skin. A year since she'd seen light and decided to cease on blaming herself for having too much doubts, for drowning with her own emotions. A year had passed since she started finding her way back to herself after she lost it because of Mico.
Tatlong mga salita ang mailalawaran niya sa mga napagdaanan.
HINDI IYON MADALI.
Yes, she must have been aware of that since the very moment she decided to face her fears; since the very day she got ready to defeat her own internal dilemmas.
There were countless moments when one could tell she's finally doing fine. And then one moment, kapag may naaalala, o sumasagi sa isipan na nangyari noon─na talagang nakaapekto sa sitwasyon sa kasalukuyan─ay paunti-unting bibigat ang kanyang dibdib. Hihilahin ulit siya ng samu't-saring isipin na naroon lang sa kanyang isipan, naghahanap ng tamang tiyempo para muling kalabanin ang kanyang unti-unti nang tumutuwid na paniniwala.
May mga pagkakataong nagiging malakas siya. May mga panahon ding nanghihina siya at gusto niya na lang na sumuko. Pero ayaw niyang makita ang sariling malanta na lang sa isang tabi; ang mabigo nang hindi siya lumalaban. Kaya itinuring niya ang bawat araw na hamon para sa kanya.
She needs to get up every day to prove to herself that she could make it through the rest of the upcoming days. Na magiging okay siya ngayong araw, sa susunod pa, at sa mga susunod pa. Gusto niyang pangmatagalan na pagbabago. Hindi iyong hanggang kisapmata lang at maglalaho na agad. Paghihirapan niya para maayos niya ang sarili. Paghihirapan niyang matuto sa bawat nagawa niyang pagkakamali.
And. . . thank God, I made it.
She remembered herself keeping a note to herself while she struggles to move on and fix herself day by day.
If only I've made better choices. If only I was wise enough. Would things be better than this? Would I be happy then?
Notes after notes until she had pondered the consequences of what she has done.
One doesn't get to choose what happens to her today, or tomorrow. But I am certain I am responsible of how I should react to every mischief that might happen to me for the rest of my life.
When situations get tough, the decision to do the right thing matters most—despite the odds.
She must admit, amid those times she badly wanted a shoulder to lean on and someone whom she could constantly talk to. Pero hindi sa lahat ng oras ay may masasandalan siya dahil may kanya-kanyang buhay rin naman ang mga bago niyang kaibigan. Hindi niya hawak ang lahat ng oras ng mga ito.
BINABASA MO ANG
A Lover's Rose (Published Under IMMAC)
ChickLitLove comes with pain and a lot more. For Rosette, loving someone would mean giving everything that she's got. She loves too much that she sometimes drags herself onto a mess, absentmindedly losing herself in the process just to have the man that her...