Love comes with pain and a lot more. For Rosette, loving someone would mean giving everything that she's got. She loves too much that she sometimes drags herself onto a mess, absentmindedly losing herself in the process just to have the man that her...
"I lost myself because of love. I was drowned within my own emotions. All were because of my doings. Maybe this time I also just needed myself."
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- PAGHIHIRAP -
ROSE HAS TO CARRY THE PAIN in her heart every single day. She has been aware of that though. How many times did she made through heartbreaks before? Almost five times perhaps? Iyon ay kung napagtagumpayan niya nga iyon lahat. Dahil ang mga iyon ay nag-iwan ng marka. Mga marka na inamin niyang hindi nakatulong sa kanya. Dahil dala-dala niya iyon hanggang ngayon.
Ang una ay nag-iwan sa kanya ng pagdadalawang isip. Doubts. She got it during her first failed relationship. High school, kung kailan niya nakilala ang unang taong minahal niya at pinagkatiwalaan.
It was a guy named Erikson. She was only seventeen and the guy was eighteen. Magkaklase silang dalawa. Dito niya unang naramdaman ang pagdadalawang isip kung katatanggap ba siya, kung worth it ba siyang maging parte ng buhay ng isang tao. She was naïve and innocent. Hindi niya alam kung dapat na ba siyang pumasok sa relasyon ng mga panahong iyon. But she did anyway.
She's suppose to feel loved that time but all she had received were inconsistency and false hopes. Iniwan din siya nito matapos ang limang buwan. And she blamed herself for being too weak. She was too easy to fool. Starting then, she doubted her decisions, she doubted herself. Ngunit alam niyang mas maiintindihan niya pa ang mga bagay sa paglipas ng panahon.
Her second love was Dominic, her blockmate in first year college, he has a passion for arts and she learned to love it too because of him. Sa mga panahong iyon ay naisip ni Rose na may mga bagay nga siguro na natatapos para makapagsimula ang isang bagay na mas may halaga. College was tough yet Dominic made her feel at ease, kung nagtiwala na siya noon ay mas nagtiwala pa siya rito. But he cheated on her 2 months after they became official. Doon siya mas lalong nadurog. Mas tumindi ang paninisi niya sa sarili. Tumindi ang pagkuwestiyon niya sa sariling desisyon na magtiwala sa mga lalaking nagpapanggap lang pala at nangangako kahit na wala naman itong planong tuparin ang mga iyon.
Rose promised herself that the third time she would fall inlove, she would learn to control her emotions. If she had been too careless then, she would be cautious the next time she would find herself falling for someone new. And she met, Paul, he was a varsity player in the university.
Ahead ito sa kanyang ng isang taon, but everything went well. She finds herself being close to the other varsity players whenever she would cheer for Paul during his game plays. May mga away nga sila pero hindi naman matindi. Rose became aware of the ups and downs of every relationship, the sweetness and bitterness of the love that they offered to each other.
Ngunit hindi nagtagal ay tila nagbago si Paul. Napapadalas na ang paninigaw nito sa kanya. Nangyari iyon nang magpunta siya isang beses practice nito—sabado para supresahin ito, nagtaka siya dahil noong mga nakaraang buwan ay pinapapunta pa siya nito pero biglaan na lang itong nagsabi na huwag na muna. Ngunit pumunta pa rin siya, and there she saw it, may ibang girlfriend pa pala ito bukod sa kanya. Ito ang naroon sa tuwing may practice ito tuwing weekends. Paul shouted at her. Cursed her. Hindi niya magawang sigawan ito pabalik. Mapapayuko lang siya. Then he has become too dominating, pinamukha nito sa kanya kung gaano siya kahina. Doon siya paulit-ulit na napatanong kung ano bang mali sa kanya o kung saan ba siya nagkulang.
