Used To Be [A Bensler Fan Fic}

Chapter Five

Elliot and Olivia spent every day together for a week. They went for walks together, and on the last day of Olivia's time off he took her to the beach. It was cold since it was the end of October, Olivia was all bundled up and her hair was whipping around her face from the intense wind.

"It's so cold." Olivia breathed, as Elliot wrapped his arm around her body to keep her stable as they walked towards the water.

"It wasn't supposed to be this windy today... I'm sorry. We can go home if you want." Elliot spoke, but Olivia shook her head.

"You brought me here for a reason, El. So would you mind telling me before I freeze to death?" Olivia sighed as she turned to look at him. 

"This was the beach we used to come to when we were together. We ran into the water in our clothes, and this was the first place we said we loved each other." Elliot spoke, as he moved in front of her to block the wind.

"What?" Olivia asked as she looked around.

"It looks different when the sun is up, Olivia." Elliot chuckled. Olivia swallowed hard before stepping forward and hugging Elliot. She clung to him as she started to cry. 

Coming to this beach right now was something she needed. She needed to be reminded that she was loved, and she was loved by Elliot. She liked being at this beach because she still loved the night she told Elliot that she loved him, and he told her it back.

"Are you okay?" Elliot breathed as he rubbed her back.

"I'm just so glad you brought me here," Olivia whispered. She leaned back before looking at Elliot.

"I'm glad I brought you here too... I just want you to know that I love you and that I'll always love you. I'll be here for you and this kid..." Elliot spoke before he stepped back a bit so it was easier to place his hands against Olivia's swell.

"I have 13 weeks left... that might all change." Olivia frowned.

"What?" Elliot asked, as he reached up and rubbed the tears from Olivia's cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.

"You might stop loving me as this baby's dad did... Elliot, I feel like as I grew older that I loved myself less and less." Olivia breathed. Elliot looked at her for a short moment before placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Olivia, you don't need men or anyone else to tell you that they love you. I know that you can love yourself once again, especially since you are doing something amazing. You are having a baby, Liv. And that baby is going to love you more than anyone else." Elliot breathed. He held her close and after a few long moments, Olivia stepped back.

"I'm not getting in that water. It's too cold." Olivia laughed as she wiped tears from her cheeks.

"Oh, that sucks. I was hoping to see you without your shirt on again." Elliot teased, and Olivia smacked him in response. They laughed as Elliot grabbed Olivia's hand and they went to head back to the car. 

Before Elliot could open the door for Olivia, she tugged him close and kissed his lips deeply.

///

Elliot was shocked that Olivia kissed him. It wasn't like he turned his head on accident when she tried to peck his cheek. Olivia full-on kissed him. She meant to kiss his lips and tug on his bottom lip as she pulled away. It was confusing for Elliot because Olivia told him that she wasn't ready for a relationship, yet she kissed him. It was almost like she had changed her mind.

"Are we okay?" Olivia asked quietly, as Elliot parked outside of the house Olivia shares with Alex. Alex's car was parked in the driveway, so Elliot knew he couldn't go in. Especially because he knew that Olivia's lipstick had tinted his lips.

"Olivia, why did you kiss me?" Elliot asked quietly. Olivia looked at him before shrugging.

"I don't know... maybe because you were being very sweet to me... or maybe because you said you loved me. Or maybe it's because I love you too." Olivia breathed. Elliot nodded slowly before reaching out and offering his hand to her. She took it and gave his larger hand a squeeze. 

"I'm not going to be the one asking you to date or something. I'm letting you take the first step and telling me when you are ready. Even if it's years before we date. Or maybe we never do... I just want you to be ready. Because you mean the absolute world to me." Elliot whispered. He leaned over and pecked Olivia's cheek before moving to get out of the car.

"Thanks, Elliot... I'll see you soon, right? Since I'm going to get my stitches out tomorrow and going back to working at least 60 hours a week."

"I have an interview tomorrow, but afterward I'll come up and see you. Maybe bring you something actually good to eat." Elliot smiled.

"Where is your interview?" Olivia asked.

"At the bistro where we had our first date." Elliot smiled.

"Okay, well order me something from there. I love their food."

"Okay, I will then. Uh, do you want me to come around and help you out?" Elliot asked, and Olivia shook her head.

"No, that's okay. Thanks though... good luck tomorrow, El." Olivia smiled softly.

"You too. Don't faint or anything."

///

Olivia went inside and slipped her shoes off outside since they were filled with sand. When she moved to the kitchen to dump the sand out in the garbage can, Alex stopped her.

"So... uh-"

"We were at the beach. He wanted to take me to the place we went to when we were younger. He didn't try to fuck me, and I took the first step in kissing him." Olivia sighed, as she moved into the kitchen.

"You kissed him?" Alex asked with wide eyes.

"I kissed him as if I'd never be able to kiss him again," Olivia replied, as she stopped and looked at her roommate.

"Liv-"

"Alex, please just give me space. You have been a real bitch lately to me and Elliot. I know that you have helped me so much, but I still need my space. I need to work through my feelings, and I need to decide what I want."

"Your doctor called and wants to give you a check-up before you get back on the clock. She's worried about you, and so am I. But I won't waste my energy worrying about someone who doesn't care what I think." Alex spat.

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