Used To Be [A Bensler Fan Fic}

Chapter Thirty-Five

"Olivia, stop the dramatics and just come home. For the kids." Elliot sighed, and Olivia just rolled her eyes as she grabbed another chart before flipping it open.

"I'm working a forty-eight hour shift. A bunch of other nurses are sick or something, so I'm going to try to pick up the slack. Go home." Olivia sighed.

"Liv, you just got off of a twenty-four hour shift. You don't need-"

"Elliot, you don't want me at home. You kicked me out and packed up all my stuff. You are only here asking me to come home because Rory made you feel bad. But don't feel bad, because I'm a horrible mother and wife." Olivia grumbled, before seeing as a blue light flashed through the hall before a code blue was called. Olivia glanced at her husband for one last moment before running towards where the code was being called.

"Where's Mama?" Rory yawned as he came out of the room and looked at his father.

"She had to go help a sick kid. Uh, she has to work so we are going to go home." Elliot spoke, before leaning down to lift his son up.

"I want Mama to come home too." Rory sniffled as his lip started to quiver.

"She can't, Rory." Elliot breathed, as the blue light stopped flashing and he turned and saw as Olivia slowly walked from the room. 

She looked over at him as tears slipped down her cheeks.

"Babe, tell them that you can't cover. Come home." Elliot breathed, and Olivia nodded slowly as she threw her gloves away.

"Let me just grab my bags."

///

Olivia spent most of her evening holding her babies and making sure that she gave them tons of kisses and told them many times that she loved them. After the kids went to bed, Olivia didn't know what to do. She had talked to her husband since the moments after her patient had passed, and she didn't know what to say to him if she decided to talk.

"I'm gonna head up to bed. Are you going to head to bed soon?" Elliot asked, as Olivia ran her hands over her face and leaned back against the couch.

"I'm just going to crash down here... just in case Rory needs me." Olivia sighed, as she pulled her hands away from her face and looked over at her husband.

"What was wrong with that kid?" Elliot questioned, and Olivia frowned as she looked down at her hands.

"Uh, his liver and kidneys were failing him. He had a horrible infection, and by the time I started compressions, his heart had failed completely too. I just wish that there had been more that I could have done. Because his parents couldn't even be there when he passed." Olivia frowned, as Elliot moved and sat on the arm rest that was the furthest away from his wife.

"I'm really sorry, Liv."

"It doesn't matter. It happens every day. I'm used to it at this point." Olivia frowned, before she stood and walked over to where the baby monitor sat on the TV stand. She turned it on before sitting it on the coffee table.

"I'll keep the one on upstairs. Just turn that one off." Elliot spoke, as Olivia sank back down onto the sofa.

"No, I'll get the kids just like every other night. Just get some sleep." Olivia breathed.

"Liv, I'm sorry that I don't help more."

"Okay, cool. Thanks for apologizing, but who even says you will change. And I don't want more kids if that means you will help even less. It's like every time I get knocked up, you get a little more lazy." Olivia grumbled.

"I'll try harder."

"Sure." Olivia sighed, before hearing as Roland cried out from his room. Elliot stayed put, and Olivia looked at him for a moment before nodding.

"I'll go get him. You just relax. You've had a long hard day."

///

Olivia ended up crashing in Rory's room since he had a nightmare and only wanted her. She woke up when Elliot came to wake up his son for school.

"Rory- Olivia?" Elliot whispered, as he opened the blinds and turned his attention to those in the small bed.

"He had a nightmare." Olivia yawned, as she slowly climbed out of the bed and cringed from the pain in her body.

"Oh... about Hanson?"

"Yup." Olivia replied plainly.

"We should change Rory's school... send him somewhere different." Elliot whispered, and Olivia nodded slowly before looking down at her son.

"Let's just let him sleep. He can skip one last day but then has to go back tomorrow. Okay?"

"So are you staying home with him?" Elliot asked, and Olivia shrugged.

"I'm assuming that you don't wanna anymore."

"Liv, let's talk." Elliot spoke, before grabbing Olivia's arm and tugging her from the room. He shut the door before making his wife lean against it.

"Elliot, I'm not up for talking. So can I go shower and then wake the babies for the day?"

"Olivia, I will try harder if you give me a chance."

"Elliot, I'm tired of giving you more chances."

"Liv-"

"I love you, I really do. But I'm tired of you turning into an asshole whenever someone calls you out or when you think you are the only one right. I'm just tired of everything."

"I just didn't think that Rory should find out about Hanson at such a young age."

"When did you want to tell him?" Olivia yawned.

"When he was older. Like eighteen."

"So you wanted him to wonder for eighteen years? Don't you think he'd wonder if we didn't love him as much as his siblings? Because I'm sure if you had your way, he'd be eighteen with like six younger siblings." Olivia sighed.

"At eighteen, he could make his own choice. But we stole that from him."

"By we you mean me. Because I'm causing all the problems."

"Yes, you are. Because you were the one that got knocked up by some man that didn't even wanna be with you!" Elliot laughed bitterly.

"If I hadn't gotten knocked up by Hanson, we wouldn't have Rory. So what are you saying? Cause it sounds like you aren't too fond of our son now."