Used To Be [A Bensler Fan Fic}

Chapter Nineteen

Elliot went inside and put a bag of frozen peas to his knuckles. He stood by the sink and stared at the window. He watched as Hanson got up before walking slowly to his car. He got in and picked up his phone before spotting Elliot watching him from the window. He then dropped the phone and backed out quickly.

"Uh, why are you icing your hand?" Olivia asked, and Elliot turned around and looked at her. She had changed Rory into his small suit, and he was resting comfortably on her hip with his head still resting heavily against her shoulder.

"I just hit it. No big deal." Elliot smiled. He walked and put the bag of peas back into the freezer before moving to his fiancee. He pressed a soft kiss to her lips, before gently smoothing Rory's hair.

"Let me see your hand," Olivia spoke, and Elliot shook his head.

"You won't be seeing this hand until you are pushing a ring onto my finger," Elliot smirked, before moving to grab Rory, but Olivia stopped him.

She grabbed his hand and frowned as she looked at his knuckles. Olivia frowned when she saw busted open knuckles and dark bruises.

"What did you hit? Because a wall or... Hanson." Olivia frowned.

"Liv-"

"No. Did you hit Hanson? Huh?" Olivia huffed.

"Babe-"

"I don't want you to use violence against anyone! Even if he's a piece of crap, he doesn't need to get punched. You aren't your father! What if he decides to call the police? What if instead of us leaving  for California in a few days,you are heading to jail for assault?!" Olivia spat. Elliot frowned deeply before stepping back and running his hand over the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry." Elliot breathed. He looked down before swallowing hard.

"Just go clean up your hand and meet me outside in ten minutes," Olivia grumbled.

"I don't even think you really want to marry me. So I'll just-"

"We planned this wedding, so we are going to get married." Olivia sighed, before walking away quickly and angrily.

///

Elliot wouldn't even smile as he said his vows. He slid Olivia's ring onto her finger with shaky hands, and they barely touched lips before the ceremony was done.

"You don't seem happy to be married." Alex frowned, as she approached Elliot. He was putting away a few chairs before he planned on going inside for dinner, gifts, and birthday cake for Rory.

"We got into a fight." Elliot frowned.

"What?" Alex asked with wide eyes.

"Liv found out that I punched Hanson. She's disappointed in me and I told her that we didn't have to get married, but she said we planned this wedding so we had to get married." Elliot sighed softly. He propped the last chair up before turning and looking at his wife's best friend.

"Are you sure she is angry? She might just-"

"She yelled at me and told me that I wasn't my father. He's abusive, and I think she thinks that I'm going to be abusive too... so not only is she pissed off at me, she is also disappointed as fuck." Elliot frowned.

"I'm going to tell her that it is my fault. I was the one that got you involved." Alex sighed, before turning to move inside. Elliot stopped her.

"Everything I do is my fault. I will take responsibility for what I did. I will apologize to Hanson, and I'm ready to spend the rest of my life sleeping on the couch."

"Hey-"

"No. It's okay. I made a big mistake, and now I need to live with it."

///

Rory really did like being the center of attention for the second half of the evening. He opened lots of gifts and played with a ton of boxes and bows. He devoured a small cake, but no one really knew how much he got into his belly compared to the amount he got all over his body.

"So, I was wondering if you wanted to take Alex with you to California..." Elliot trailed off that night. Rory was finally asleep, and now they were just trying to wind down themselves. Olivia hadn't kicked Elliot out yet, but would soon.

"So we can do a couple's massage together? Everyone will think we are lesbians." Olivia grumbled.

"Then go alone? Take Rory? I don't know what you want to do. I just know you want nothing to do with me." Elliot sighed as he twisted his wedding band.

"I just wish that you would have used your head. That you would have talked everything through with Hanson instead of hitting him. I get worried sometimes that maybe you will turn out like your father. Like when you broke that plate and started to swear. Or when you yelled a bit at Rory when he was being reckless. He's only a baby-"

"I was scared that when Rory was doing something I told him not to do, that he'd get hurt. He got over that baby gate and was going to fall down those stairs. I didn't get angry because I was mad. I got angry because I was scared. Olivia, Rory is my boy. I love him so much and I can't think about how much pain we'd both be in if we lost him. I don't even know if after everything that happened, you even want to have kids with me. So Rory is the one kid we have and the one we can't risk messing up." Elliot frowned.

"But-"

"You should pack up. I'll stay home with Rory and you can enjoy your trip." Elliot breathed.

///

Elliot slept on the couch but didn't sleep for long before Olivia was waking him up. He opened his eyes slowly, before focusing on her.

"Do you need me to take care of bean?" Elliot yawned.

"I overreacted, El. I shouldn't have been so mean to you. I messed up our whole wedding because I was angry. You won't turn into your father, and I know that."

"You don't know that, Liv. I may or may not turn into a monster." Elliot breathed.

"You won't... and about babies... I'd like many more."

"Liv-"

"I'm sorry, El. I love you too much to continue fucking this up more."