Used To Be [A Bensler Fan Fic}

Chapter Thirty-Six

"Stop spinning my words! Olivia, I love Rory. He was our first kid!"

"You said that me getting knocked up with Rory was a mistake. Hanson and I had been in love at some point!" Olivia huffed as she stomped away from her husband and headed downstairs.

"He didn't want you, Olivia!" Elliot yelled as he followed his wife downstairs.

"Okay, so maybe he didn't want me when he left. But before he and I loved each other. We had plans, but then something happened and he didn't want to keep those plans with me." Olivia groaned, as she quickly turned around and looked at her husband.

"Stop lying to yourself and making me look like the bad guy!"

"You are the fucking bad guy!" Olivia yelled back.

"Right now, I don't fucking want you. No one wants you!" Elliot yelled as loudly as he could. Olivia swallowed hard before pointing at the front door.

"Get out." She growled, and Elliot laughed as he shook his head.

"No! Fuck off, Olivia! You get the hell out! This is my house! Those are my kids! And I'm so glad that you don't want anymore because I'm sick and tired of having to deal with you when you are pregnant!"

"I can't believe you right now!" Olivia laughed bitterly as she moved into the kitchen.

"You can't believe me? Olivia, you are a freaking mess! You can't keep your fucking huge ass mouth shut!"

"This... this is why we never should have gotten back together. The way you make me seem like the bad guy. I was the bad guy when you were cheating on me. I was the bad guy when you left the house unlocked and allowed someone to just walk in and steal stuff. I was the bad guy when you get drunk and crashed our car. Elliot, I make mistakes and I know I do... but I don't fuck up to the point where I have to put the blame on someone... anyone else just to feel good about myself."

"Fuck you." Elliot huffed, as he stomped from the kitchen.

"Yeah, that's never happening again!"

///

Elliot drove as far away from his house as he possibly could before breaking down. He was holding back tears and his want to just scream. He wanted everything to just stop. He didn't want to fight anymore, but he couldn't seem to get himself to just apologize. To admit that he was wrong and a complete ass. He didn't want this fight to be the end of his marriage, but he had fucked up so badly that he didn't really know. It was like his future was all blurry and he couldn't manage to get it to clear up. 

"Elliot?" Alex asked, as she found her friend's husband sitting in her driveway. Elliot climbed out of his car as he hastily brushed tears from his cheeks.

"I hate her and I hate myself." Elliot sniffled, as he raked his fingers through his hair.

"What? Elliot, I thought that you kicked Olivia out for good?"

"Rory wanted her. He only wanted her, even after what she told him. I went and got her from the hospital last night and brought her home. But we fought last night and again this morning. She was twisting my words and making it seem like I didn't want Rory."

"Well, what did you say?" Alex questioned, as she walked down the stairs and towards Elliot.

"I said that it was a mistake... you know... her getting pregnant by Hanson."

"That does sound like you don't want Rory or that he is a mistake in your eyes." Alex frowned.

"But that's not what I meant!"

"Elliot, I don't know why you are here. Because in the end, I really need to stay out of this if I ever want to stay Olivia's friend.  You need to stop running away or kicking her out. It's just making things worse."

"I told her that I was tired of dealing with her."

"Like in general?" Alex sighed, and Elliot shook her head.

"Well, kinda I guess. But when she was pregnant too... I'm so inconsiderate."

"You both have said and done things that you regret. So go back and make up."

"I don't know if she wants to make up." Elliot whispered.

"Then go see. Standing here isn't gonna help."

///

Olivia missed how her life used to be. When she and Elliot were madly in love. When they rarely fought, but if they did they always made up just hours later. She missed how happy she was after each of her children were born and how Elliot always fell right into being a father to a newborn so easily. She missed when they were friends along with being husband and wife. But now it felt like they were nothing to each other. Olivia felt like Elliot was done with their marriage, and those feelings just grew stronger as their fight grew more intense.

"Olivia?" Elliot breathed, as he finally arrived back home after being out for hours. The kids were all napping, so Olivia was left to overthinking. And one of those thoughts was that she wondered if Elliot ran off and cheated on her again. If she made him so angry that he would just stop being faithful to her and their marriage.

"I'm surprised that you came back." Olivia whispered, as she turned around from where she had attempting to wash dishes. But the water was cold now and her face felt tight from crying.

"I just needed to cool off." Elliot replied softly, as he sat a bottle of wine and a bouquet of wilted roses on the counter.

"What do you want to do at this point? Break up but still live together for the sake of our kids? Break up and live apart?" Olivia asked weakly.

"What about staying married?" Elliot questioned, as he looked his wife over and frowned.

"Do you even want that? Because I'm sure that there is someone else out there that will be better for you." Olivia frowned.

"There is no one else out there that I want more than you... baby, can we please just work this out?" Elliot breathed, as he moved around the counter and hesitantly placed his hands to her hips.

"Do you really think we can come back from this?"