Used To Be [A Bensler Fan Fic}

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Elliot and Alex were taken to a different waiting room. They got the kids occupied with books and toys, but they couldn't keep their minds focused on something else when Olivia was so sick to the point that she might die.

"How far along was she?" Alex asked quietly, as she finished typing up a group text to their friends. She wanted them all to know that Olivia was super sick, and she might not make it.

"We don't know. She took the test a few days ago, and then the morning after she was cramping and bleeding... we didn't even have time to confirm the pregnancy."

"I'm so sorry, El. But she'll be fine. Olivia is strong."

"She isn't right now, Alex. She's super weak and sick. That's why the nurse said that they might not be able to save her. And when I heard that... all I could think about is the fact my kids won't have their mother."

"It won't come to that. Don't worry." Alex spoke, but she was having a hard time reassuring Elliot when she wasn't even sure that she believed herself.

"Daddy?" Rory asked, as he walked over to his father with Roland's hand in his.

"Yeah?" Elliot sighed softly.

"Roland needs his diaper changed." Rory frowned.

"Can do..."

///

They waited for hours before a doctor came out to talk to them. By this point, the kids had been picked up by their sitter and the rest of the friends had gathered.

"Family of Olivia Stabler?"

"I'm her husband."

"Mr. Stabler, your wife has made it through surgery. Unfortunately, we weren't able to save her uterus. We had to preform a complete hysterectomy."

"Y-you couldn't save it? She and I still had plans of having another baby." Elliot frowned.

"Mr. Stabler, your wife has a severe infection and if we didn't remove it, she would have lost her life right there on the operating table. Now, she is still incredibly ill, and we won't know if she'll wake up or not. She is on a ton of antibiotics and we are monitoring her closely."

"Can I see her?" Elliot asked, as Alex came up beside him and grabbed his hand.

"No, you can't. She's really sick and we need to monitor her until her fever breaks."

"Do you think she'll make it? Or should I start planning a funeral?" Elliot struggled to speak.

"I would make some calls and get any other family members notified."

"This is her family. Just without the three kids that are at home wondering if their mother may die."

///

Elliot didn't leave the waiting room for four days. He called his kids and talked to them three times a day and made sure that they were being good for their sitter, or an uncle or aunt. They were always being trouble makers, but no one could blame them for acting out. Especially since they haven't seen their mother in over four days.

Elliot was finally allowed to see his wife a week after she had been hospitalized and had surgery. She was still unconscious and wasn't responding to anything.

"Hey, babe... It's me, Elliot. They are just now letting me sit with you, which sucks. I wanted to sit with you from the moment they brought you out of the OR, but they wouldn't let me... I love you, Liv. So very much. I just wish you were awake and could hear me say this." Elliot frowned, as he looked his wife over.

Her face lacked all of it's color, and her hands were freezing cold. The doctor did say that the infection had spread considerably, and that it was destroying her body. Her fever hadn't broken, so Elliot was fearing that the only reason he was allowed to sit with her was because she was nearing the end. That she was going to die and he couldn't do anything to save her.

"Mr. Stabler?" A soft voice questioned, and Elliot turned his head and eyed a young nurse standing at the foot of the bed.

"Yes?"

"How are you holding up?"

"Not great at all. I'm scared to death because I have loved this woman for so many years, and thinking about living without her makes me want to cry." Elliot sniffled.

"She's in pain, Mr. Stabler. And no matter what happens, you should know that she loves you."

"I know she loves me. But for the last few weeks we have been fighting like crazy. If it wasn't about one thing, it was about another. And we have three little kids at home. Our youngest is only a year old." Elliot breathed.

"Do you have anyone around to help with the kids?"

"We have a big friend group. They have been swapping off with their sitter to make sure they have loved ones around. I just wish that we had parents around to help." Elliot sighed.

"I can try and pull some strings. See if you can bring the kids up."

"I don't want them to see her like this... she doesn't look like my wife."

///

Olivia had told Elliot that she never wanted to be a burden on him. That she didn't want extreme measures to be taken. That if she was to the point where she would never wake up again, she didn't want to suffer and be poked and prodded just for nothing to change.

So after two full weeks of hoping and praying that Olivia would wake up, Elliot decided, with the help of the doctors, that it was time to pull the plug. He brought the kids up to the hospital and all of their friends were there to say goodbye.

"Mama?" Roland asked, as he sat on the edge of the bed and patted his mother's hand.

"She can't hear us, Ro. I'm sorry." Elliot frowned, as he reached out and ran his fingers through Roland's hair.

"Mama, we are going to miss you so much... and we love you. I'm sorry that you can't stay around with us." Rory breathed, as he reached out and gently touched his mother's cheek.

They stood there for awhile, all saying their goodbyes and kissing Olivia's cheeks and forehead. Then they gave Elliot some space.

"I love you, baby. I always have and I always will. I can't believe that this is the last day I will ever have with you, and it's the day you are leaving us... you told me that you didn't want to be a vegetable... so I'm not allowing you to be. I promise to take care of our kiddos."

Elliot looked his wife over for a moment before pressing several soft kisses to the corner of his wife's lips.

Everyone was brought back in, and Elliot lifted Raven and Roland into his arms. They watched as the doctor and nurse removed all of the supportive measures. As Olivia's heart continued to beat for a few minutes, Elliot led everyone in a prayer as one of the most important people in their lives... lost hers.