Used To Be [A Bensler Fan Fic}

Chapter Forty

After Olivia's passing, everyone felt like storm clouds were following them. That they had lost such a bright light in their lives.

Elliot could barely sleep, the kids were fussy and cried all the time, and all the friends couldn't go an hour without thinking about their dear friend.

"El?" A soft voice spoke, and Elliot sighed softly as he ran his fingers over his cheeks as he turned around. Today was his wife's funeral, and he was having a hard time concentrating on anything. That's why he and his kids took a town car to the church.

"Lisa?" Elliot asked, as his faded blue eyes went wide.

"Yeah... I heard about Liv and couldn't stop thinking about you. So I decided to come and support you and the kids." 

"Thanks. It means a lot." Elliot sighed, before moving to his sister and hugging her tightly.

"What happened?" Lisa frowned after her brother unwrapped his arms from around her body.

"She had a miscarriage and got an infection from it. She didn't get help fast enough and collapsed at work." Elliot replied softly as he moved away from his sister and looked out the window and at the foggy courtyard.

"I'm so sorry, El... she was amazing. I loved her so much, and I hate that I just walked away and never turned back."

"You did turn back. That is why you are here. The kids are with their Aunts and Uncles if you wanted to see them."

"How many are you up to now?" Lisa asked, and Elliot smiled weakly as he thought about the three beautiful kids he had with his wife. The three kids that acted and looked just like their mother.

"Three. We have Rory, Raven, and then Roland. He's only one."

"I'm sorry that you guys couldn't have more."

"We would have, but even if Olivia made it... she couldn't have kids anymore. We would have had to get a surrogate or adopted."

"Do you think you'll make it through today? The rest of your life?" Lisa asked, and Elliot shook his head as tears slipped down his cheeks.

"I really don't want to live after losing my wife."

///

The funeral was extremely nice. The open casket gave everyone one last chance to say goodbye to Olivia and see her face. She still didn't look like herself, which made things harder. Elliot knew that his kids would never remember their mother's face, because they were all so little when she passed. And as the years went on after Olivia's death, the kids did start to forget.

Elliot even started to forget, which broke his heart. Every time he tried to remember something about his late wife, he couldn't even remember the small details he once loved to think about every single day.

Elliot never did remarry, and he never did fall in love again. His heart had been buried with his late wife, and he never felt whole ever again. Well, up until the point Rory became a father.

"Rory?" Elliot asked quietly, as he knocked lightly on his daughter-in-law's room.

"Dad. Come in." Rory smiled from where he sat in a rocking chair. 

"How is she?" Elliot asked, as he looked at the girl that stole Rory's heart. At first it was a little awkward, but after Alex adopted her first daughter, Rory stopped calling Alex his aunt because he wanted to marry her eldest daughter.

"Eve is doing great. She is so freaking strong. And Dad... I watched this little one being born, and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Even if it was a bit disgusting." Rory chuckled, as he looked back at the baby.

"So?" Elliot asked gruffly, as he sank down onto the sofa and looked over at Rory.

"So? Is that you asking me if it's a boy or girl?" Rory smiled, and Elliot nodded.

"Yeah. So? Do I have a granddaughter or a grandson?"

"You have a granddaughter. If her hat wasn't on, you'd see that she had brown hair and I swear to god she has nose wrinkles when she cries or yawns."

"What?" Elliot mused.

"Mama's nose wrinkles."

"Oh... I kinda forgot about those. I never thought that I'd forget those."

"Dad, I miss her so much." Rory sniffled as he looked up from his daughter and locked eyes with his father.

"I do too, Bean." Elliot spoke, as he used his son's nickname for the first time in years.

"I wanted her here... like, I wanted my mother around when I became a father. Eve and I had Alex, and Raven was absolutely amazing as the midwife. But still, it sucks that Mama couldn't be here to watch this beautiful girl get born."

"She was taken from us too soon, Rory. Everyday I hate myself for not forcing her to get help. Then maybe she's still be here and Roland wouldn't be the youngest."

"Thank you so much for keeping us going, Dad. For taking care of us and loving us. For not letting Hanson take me. I know that the last twenty-three years have been horribly hard, but you have made them easier. You have helped us remember a bit of her."

"It was my honor."  Elliot sighed softly, before being shocked as Rory stood and laid his daughter in his arms.

"You won't hurt her, Dad. I promise. She's delicate, but she's also strong."

Elliot looked his granddaughter for several long minutes. He smiled as he saw how much she looked like Rory.

"Dad?" Eve asked, and Elliot looked up from the baby and smiled softly at his daughter-in-law.

"Hey, kid. You did good. She's adorable."

"Thanks. We love her." Eve smiled. 

"What are you naming her?" Elliot questioned, as Rory moved over to his wife's bedside and settled beside her.

"We were having a hard time deciding, but I think we figured it out." Rory spoke.

"Can I know? Or is she just gonna be called baby girl for the rest of her life?" Elliot chuckled.

"Her name is Olivia."

"O-olivia?" Elliot breathed as tears welled in his eyes.

"Yeah. Olivia. After the most important woman in Rory's life. I wish that I had gotten the chance to meet her." Eve spoke softly.

"Little Olivia... I promise to tell you about your grandmother. She was amazing. Just like you, little one."