Never In My Dreams

27- I Promise

* Warning: The following touches on a sensitive topic *

[Tzuyu's POV]

     My confused state had surpassed ten and went to foggy. By foggy, I had meant the misty haze that made it hard for people to drive, especially at night. That was the way I had felt when I went home a few days ago from my day out with Mingyu.

'I like you too!' I repeated his words over and over again in my head, like a broken record player. So, what are we? I had even mentioned it to the girls, who had been bugging me to tell them details of our date. Of course they were beyond happy of me, but I had told them not to blow it up into a big deal. Nothing happened besides our confession. He did ask me out to be a couple, but that was when I had been sidetracked and the cause of all that made me avoid him, and wait for almost two weeks for an answer. I wonder if that offer had been on the table still?! I had no idea about nothing and I felt I added on top of all my problems.

I needed to have some fresh air. No matter how cold the air was and how my nose would get red or my fingers would feel numb; I needed to think properly. I could only think of one place to go during this time- Han River.
—

The cool breeze caressed my skin as I sat on a bench, looking at the distance ahead. No one had been out here during this time. Of course no one would be out since it was almost eleven at night. I couldn't sleep with my mind occupied about my parents most especially.

Su-Wei tells me that when she passed by my house, she seen no sign of their car for at least three days. My hope is that they're on vacation somewhere and had given up on searching for me. However, this didn't stop the thought that they had something up their sleeve. I had no idea what, but they needed me for something if they had been looking for me. I had never been their priority before and I was never their concern nor love. I felt that I was someone who was born into the wrong family.

I also needed to do a lot of saving if I planned to go to culinary school and own a café. I had been thinking of getting a second job, but with the one I had now was too much. Mrs. Han has done all she can for me and knowing the situation I was in, she bumped up my salary. With working extra hours, I could have enough to pay for my tuition after a few years. And I couldn't live with the girls forever, no matter how much they told me they didn't mind it. I wonder if this has been my life now? After I had dreamed of becoming dependent, I was just that naive little girl who had believed I could be on my own, but couldn't fend for herself. Though I was almost a thousand miles from Taiwan, which is where I wanted to be, I felt as if I made a mistake. Even though I had the new friends I made and Su-Wei, I still felt alone. No one could understand my situation, and it had been my fault because I was too stubborn.

"Why am I such an idiot?!" I shouted, frustratedly. I hit my head with the palm of my hand as I continued to degrade myself.

"I didn't know you were an idiot."

I knew who the owner of that voice was. I don't know if my cheeks turned into a red hue because of the embarrassment I had when he heard me or from the cold air that was whipping me across the face.

Taehyung sat down beside me on the bench while silence filled the gap between us. I hated how he was here when I needed this time to be alone. I needed time to reflect over the mistakes I've made and how big of an idiot it made me feel.

"You're crying," his voice was gentle. I could feel his stare on me when he pointed that out. I hadn't even felt the tears leave from my eyes, and a second wave of embarrassment washed over me. I imagined myself looking like an awful and pitiful looking girl with tear stained cheeks.