Never In My Dreams

32- Tonight

*Sensitive subjects ahead*

[Taehyung's POV]

I had been out all day with one of my closest hyungs, Park Bogum. He has been a family friend for years now and I came to him whenever I needed some good advice. The boys are good and all, but they don't understand exactly how my life works. It rotates around pleasing others, and by others'- I mean my parents.

Bogum's family somehow works the same way as mine, minus the arranged relationships. He took over his father's company not too long ago and married the love of his life as well. He had the best of both worlds- living well off without having his parents threatening to strip him of everything and marrying his long time love without his parents interference. I aspired to have that life, but right now I wasn't happy. I was far from it.

"You don't have to overthink everything!" said Bogum hyung, as he picked up the dress coat from the hanger. "It's just Kai's inauguration and-"

"-And the day the whole South Korea knows who I am. Our companies are doing well and with Jennie's career taking off, it'll be an even bigger news!" I said, sounding annoyed since I had to explain it once again.

Again, he shrugged his shoulders and patted my back. "But weren't you and Jennie just fine the other day? What happened now?!" He asked, as we started paying for our suits.

Bogum helped accompany me to buy suits since we would both be attending. His brother, Park Chanyeol, was a good friend of Kai, and his parents knew his family well. I'm just glad that I wouldn't feel too alone at the party since I would have Bogum there.

"We were and I promised to focus on her, but it's hard when she doesn't show up or answer her cellphone in almost a week and then is mad with me for who knows what," I said in frustration, "I'm really trying to be a good son to them, but it's hard when I feel forced to act and be someone I'm not."

"Then you have to ask yourself what makes you happy or in your case- who," he said, pressing the last word. I gave him an unsure look, but he just continued to walk off. This hyung was really confusing me now.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked when I reached him.

He stopped and looked at me sternly, "You need to find out how you want to live your life and who you want to be a part of it." He sighed and softened his eyes, "I can't tell you what to do, but remember to be smart about it. Don't be confused on what you should do versus what you want to do. Remember there's a difference!" And with that he continued walking, leaving me to catch up.

No matter how confusing his advice could be, he was a man beyond his years. Although he said little whenever he gave advice, it always seemed wise or at least how he worded it was. 'Remember the difference' I though to myself. Lately I had been confused about what I should do. It was like I was trapped inside a life that could never fully be mine. I even wondered how long I could live like this, but the answer was still unclear.

"Are your parents coming as well?" I asked out of curiosity. I knew his wife would be there along with his brother, and since his family knew Kai's family well- I assumed they would be present.

"Of course! Also Sooyoung-ah will be there," he said. Park Sooyoung was his younger sister who I had met before on some occasions. In fact, I hadn't seen her in a while, especially his older brother, Chanyeol. Like I said, I'm only close to Bogum hyung out of all his siblings.

"How's your friends doing, by far? I remember I couldn't come to your birthday since I had something to take care of," he said and I knew exactly what he meant. His wife had an appointment sometime around my birthday for a prenatal visit. I congratulated him when I found out. Although it was weird that he would be a father, I was more happy that he was happy. After all, he would make a great dad and I hoped that someday I could be the same.