Young Adult

Chapter fourty five - Do kids go with Chanel?

We left the writer's a couple hours later after playing with her kids and Lyn frantically trying to lay down some ideas, "that was hard, I didn't realise how energetic kids are." Lyn exclaimed after getting in her car.

"Are you not a kids person?" I asked and she shook her head, "my brother's nine years younger than me so I practically raised him as our parents had a lot of jobs to pay the bills, it was traumatic for me being a child having to raise a child." I nodded, I had a bit of emotional experience in that area with lily but obviously I didn't have to feed her, clothe her or look after her well being if I didn't want to.

"Do you not want to get married either?" I asked her again, Lyn shrugged "if it happens it happens, but after accidentally being a mistress I have no trust with married guys now." I nodded, it makes sense that adults have different views on life and what they want out of it. The girls at school were all trained to marry rich for shares and that was about it.

"So do you want kids now?" Lyn asked me as we drove off, "maybe? I just really never thought of it before until recently, if Ezra didn't mention it I might've forgotten small kids exist. But Mrs Whitehall helped change my view a bit as it seems that she was in a similar situation to me in the past." I sighed.

"You know, kids aren't really something that you can plan for. You can do all the research in the world and you still won't be completely prepared, for some couples they just randomly happen and for others it takes years for that to happen." I looked over to Lyn to guess what she was thinking.

"What I'm saying is that kids are unpredictable as when or if it'll happen, but for now you can work on yourself so that when it happens you can have a you that you can look back upon and be proud that you took bow just to focus on yourself." She said seriously.

"I have to admit that I don't really know what you're talking about, but I think that you're trying to tell me not to stress about it too much." Lyn nodded "basically, Ezra's a very pushy guy, he's had to be to get his foot in this business, but he thinks that way works in his private life aswell. If he pressures you into wanting kids I can sort him out." She joked.

I laughed "thank you for having my back, but I'm actually warming up to the idea now, not because Ezra has told me to. But because I realised that things come after having a successful marriage." Lyn rolled her eyes as we reached the office, "you rich kids seriously weird me out."

I laughed in agreement "we aren't travelling again until next Monday when we go to that kindergarten right?" Lyn nodded as we got out of the car.

"Did you have a fun day?" Ezra asked me as he got out of the shower at home after work finished. I nodded already tucked up in bed, "I met the writer and she had her kids at home, apparently she's never seen someone hold a crying baby that instantly fell asleep after that." I chuckled.

"And work? Is it fun?" He asked, trying not to talk about the kids topic and just focus on me. I nodded "I haven't been around kids since I was one myself, so it'll be a weird experience." There was a pause for a while before I changed the topic.

"Ezra, what do you think about your mom?" I asked as he came out of the wardrobe from changing, "what do you mean?" As he climbed into bed and turned off the lights.

"I've been thinking a lot today not just about kids but moms, what do you feel about your mom now?" I asked as he wrapped me up in his arms.

"Hmmm, not much really now, she worked really hard to raise me after my dad died, so I was happy that she remarried and thought about herself again. I tried living with them but it was really hard for a lot of reasons, I lashed out a lot and that drifted me and Mom apart a lot. But I was surprised that when I was 15 and asked if I could move out she actually packed my bags and gave me an apartment. I didn't want to talk to her again after that." He mumbled.

I stroked his hair as he held me tighter, "would you want to see her again?" I asked him, Ezra paused for a while before shaking his head "I'm thankful that she raised me, but she gave me up so easily. I wasn't exactly and angel to live with but still I'm her son, for the first month of living on my own I kept thinking that she would walk into the apartment and take me back home. But that never happened and I haven't seen her since." I kissed his forehead telling him to sleep now.

He seemed adamant that he didn't want to, but it seemed like Ezra actually wants to though doesn't want to rely on that hope this his mother will come back for him.

I wonder if his mom sleeps well at night? Knowing that she gave up her son to live comfortably.