Young Adult

Chapter twenty five - The business trip part three

"What are you doing?" Ezra asked me, I looked over to him finishing the line of pillows I had just placed in a vertical line down the bed to divide our sides. "We haven't figured out what we are yet. I don't want you jumping my bones tonight."

Ezra smirked and climbed into bed and caressed my face with his hand, "do you know what I think we are? Husband and wife, I'm sure the law has figured that out for us." I rolled my eyes, trying to control the vermillion color of my face.

"Still, I am only eighteen, I want process things more before we go further." Ezra groaned but accepted my conditions as I turned the light off and climbed back into bed with him.

I pulled the duvet over my face to stop saying what I was thinking aloud, Ezra turned over to face me and moved the pillows away. I pushed the blanket off of my face to look back at him, "relax, I won't do anything tonight, it's just hard to sleep with these in the way."

I sighed and didn't say anything as he etched closer to me, "are you afraid of getting closer with me?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to his chest.

He still smelled of cinnamon cookies, which wasn't helping my restraint, "actually ... I'm embarrassed. We've already done it, and I don't remember it, nor do I remember having any experience."

Ezra didn't say anything but after a while mumbled "wait so I was your first then?" I lightly punched his stomach, he laughed "I thought you and mr sloppy artist were intimate in that way." He added, I could tell that he was embarrassed in his voice.

"We weren't really like that, we were in a relationship but we met because he wanted a manager and not a girlfriend, I thought going any further than making out occasionally would complicate our business relationship." Ezra kissed my forehead, "over these last couple months I sometimes forget that you are still mentally a teenager. You normally act more adult than I do, but then you come up with things like that."

I rolled my eyes, "what about you, when was your first time?" I asked, not really caring about the answer but I wanted to embarrass him like he did to me. "Umm, I was seventeen and I was starting out my company and needed investors to grow. This one lady seemed to be flirting with me but was hesitant to sign the contract, so I ..." he stopped talking.

I giggled "you actually did that." I laughed a little more for a while before I moved on to my next question "when did you start to like me? Not old me, but new older me." I asked seriously.

"I don't exactly remember, at first I was scared of you, but then I realised that your attitude was a front to not get hurt, and that you were trying your best to adapt with me just expecting it to happen." He answered after thinking about it, I snuggled up closer to his chest so that I could hear his heartbeat.

"Don't you think this is cheating on old me? Even though we're the same person, we have different memories and you said that we have different personalities." I could feel him smiling.

"When you regain your memories you can tell me what you think, but in my opinion I'm glad that you regained your old memories now. It sucked at the start because I was angry that you could forget me so easily, but then I realised that I could never properly love you without liking all sides of you. Now stop overthinking things and get to sleep." He added as he drifted off.

But the one thing I could think of is what if I never remember anything? I've been putting off going to see the psychiatrist as I don't really want to remember the old me, I'm now fine with jumping to this part of my life. But what if Ezra wants to leave me after I tell him?

For now I'm okay not being the Addison he loves the most, but as I fall for him more in the future ... will I come to resent myself over greed?