Young Adult

Chapter fourty one - Therapy

"No!" Ezra exclaimed in a petty manner, "this is my best offer." I told him, "I don't want to, it'll make me look weak if people find out."

I shook my head "no ones going to think that you're week off you go to therapy, until you agree to do so I won't even think about having kids with you." He huffed like a child, "I'll go ... and if I feel like it's not doing anything I can quit, but you also have to go."

I uncrossed my arms "wait why me, didn't you say that I don't need to go anymore to get my memories back." Ezra held my hands, "I'm not pressing you anymore to get your memories back, but you should still go, it'll be good for you to get help for everything you've been through, you need to accept some things."

I sulked "I already have though." Ezra kissed my forehead, "if I'm going you can too", I poured "I don't want to keep going to therapy though, the doctor keeps talking about my relationship with my sister."

Ezra sighed, tilting my chin up so that he could kiss me, "if I have to talk about my mom abandoning me, you can talk about your sister." I nodded, "I don't get why he keeps talking about my sister though, I have a ton of emotional trauma that he can dissect."

Ezra chuckled "let's go to bed now, it's been a tiring day." We both got into bed and Ezra began crawling over to my side, I kicked him softly in the chest, "read the room!" I yelled in frustration.

"Addy" he whined as he placed his arm around my waist before giving up and going to sleep.

"Are you sure we should do this?" Ezra nervously asked me as we held hands i from of the clinic, I glared over to him "you made me go here by myself not long ago, why are you scared now?" He chuckled, "you're strong, what if they're spies sent to find out all of by business secrets?"

I slapped him on the back to get him into the building, "no one here cares who you're doing business with, now go get your mommy issues sorted out." I joked, "really, you're joking about that now? At a therapy clinic!" He muttered as I walked away from him to go see my doctor.

"Dr Frederick?" I knocked on his open door to make sure it was okay if I could come in, he signalled that's it was, "Mrs Reed, I haven't seen you for a while." He smiled at me, "oh sorry, actually I didn't like coming here but my husband made me go again." I laughed nervously.

"It's fine, it's hard to force people to go to therapy when they don't want to." I rolled my eyes at the doctors statement thinking about Ezra. "So is there anything you want to talk about seeing as you're here?" I sighed.

"Ezra wants to have kids soon, but I'm mentally still only a teenager. I'm not ready for that type of commitment and there's so much that I still want to do." I ranted.

"Are you sure it's because of commitment? You didn't freak out when you heard that you were married and you practically raised your cousin, I'm not saying that you should have kids but I don't think that commitment is your reason not to." I was rendered speechless.

Everything he said was true, I was freaked out when I found out that I was married but I agreed to live with him. I guess that I did kind of raise lily, I did my best to be her sister and sometimes helped her in the role of a parent.

So why am I so adamant about not having kids? I guess never thinking about it to all of a sudden having an ultimatum placed upon you about having kids angered me.

"I don't really know, I guess that I just want to grow as an adult first before I think about kids, everyone I knew as a kid bar lily were only born to solidify power and because of that many kids became messed up in the head. I accepted Ezra so easily because I needed that helping hand in the world, I'm not ready to become someone's helping hand yet." I blurted out.

"What do you want to do as an adult that you can't do with children?" He asked me, "I don't really know, but it seems scary that adulthood is just to have kids, I feel like that there should be more to life than just to pass along your genealogy."

Dr Frederick smiled at my statement, "that's true, there's a lot more to adulthood than raising kids, but there's also a lot you can gain from life by being someone's guide in life. You are very mature for your mental age, but you have a very teenage look on life. Adulthood is learning from situations when things don't go your way, you need to compromise sometimes. Obviously having kids is a subject that you shouldn't take lightly, but you seem to object it for the point of objecting it. There's a lot you can still do with kids, but if you don't want them no one should be able to force you into that idea."

We talked for a while longer about my feelings before our time was up and I met Ezra in the car park. "Was it that bad?" I asked him as Ezra looked paler than a ghost, "I didn't realise how much I had buried deep inside, it was scary talking about that. But I'll keep going even if I don't like it, for your sake." He smiled and kissed my forehead.

"What about you? How was your session?" I huffed thinking about it, "I think that I was objecting having kids just because I could, I mean it came out of no where for someone that has never even thought about the idea. I think I'm warming up to it, but I want to gain more experience at work first. A lot will change after we have a child and I might not want to work anymore, I want to atleast have a passion for the subject and not being your lackey anymore." I glared at him.

Ezra nodded, "fine, I admit I've been babying you a lot at work, I'll find projects for you to help on." I pecked him on the lips, "thank you for understanding." Ezra grinned "you know, you can develop your passion for work in nine months."

I elbowed him in the chest, "no." I smirked at his adorable face pretending to be in pain for sympathy.