The Rise And Fall Of The Stag And The Doe

Wish I Could Forget

Lily's red hair fell in her face despite the several times she had attempted to tie it back with a hair band. Finally after several hours sitting by the roaring fire, she gave up trying to keep it back and just dealt with it. Across from her Marlene and Sirius were passed out on the couch. She considered waking them since they both didn't sit down intending to fall asleep, but couldn't. They actually looked rather cute together. Her head was on his chest, his arm was around her, his head rested on hers.

In between studying chapters, she'd look up from studying and catch people walking in from wherever they had been, but after nine it was just the three of them. Lily didn't want to look at them. Every time she did it made her sad in the most selfish way possible. Seeing them asleep, laying together so effortless made her wish she had something like that. Lily had never been in love and she liked to make herself believe from time to time that she was above it and didn't need it as it would only slow down her academics and goals. But then there were times like these, simply times that she wished she just had someone to hold her like that.

Her friends would point out that James would be more than willing to do that, but they didn't get it. They didn't read the paper. They didn't see what was beginning to happen all across Europe. They didn't see that there was a war coming and that anyone even connected with a Muggleborn would be in trouble. Dorcas just focused on getting through the year, and Marlene still after everything never understood how much trouble she was getting herself in by being best friends with two Muggleborn's.

Lily shook her head and rubbed her eyes. She didn't like to think like that. More deeply than anything she wanted this war to just go away so she could be selfish and keep her friends. When the time came, she knew she'd have to give them up. Hell to give up everything she gained in the past few years, but at least until they graduated Lily wanted to hold onto the life she could have had. A life where people loved her and willingly stood up for her.

"Lily," James asked cautiously sitting down on the edge of her chair.

"huh?" She asked jumping slightly at his sudden presence.

His eyes darted to the opposite couch. "Is there something going on with those two?"

Lily glanced over to who he was pointing to and she shrugged. "I don't know. She hasn't said anything. I think she was reading when she fell asleep so it might be innocent…."

James paused for a minute, his eyes lingering on their almost touching hands and then he shook his head and sighed. "I'm probably just over analyzing it."

"True, you forget, you cuddle with Marlene." She told him lightly.

"Yeah, but that's me. Marlene is like my pillow shaped sister."

She let out a short laugh, "Oookay."

"What are you doing?"

"Reviewing for the exam on Wednesday."

He gave her a look. "Evans do you ever do anything other than study?"

"I read, I'm in the Potions club-"

He grabbed her hand to stop her. "I don't mean your resumee Evans. I mean what do you do for fun?"

"Hang out with Marlene and Dorcas."

"Well Meadowes went to bed an hour ago, and Marlene is out. What now?" He questioned still holding her hand.

Lily tried to think of an answer, but it was hard to focus on anything when his hand carelessly holding hers. "Not a clue."

"Come on then." He grinned lifting her up to stand.

"I ..I have to study!" She whispered gesturing to her fallen book.