The Rise And Fall Of The Stag And The Doe

i need you

SMUT WARNING

Hesitant, and petrified; Lily lingered in the doorway longer than she intended to. There had been a time, only moments ago, when she had screamed at James that she could have never had the opportunity to say goodbye to her father. Her last conversation could have been something trivial and unimportant, but now as she looked at his nearly lifeless face she wondered if that would have been better.

She needed this closure, her life would have never been able to go on if she didn't have it, but that didn't stop the doubt from infecting her.

"Lily," He said softly, his voice coarse.

"Daddy." She mumbled back, stepping forward, tears building in the back of her throat.

He patted the empty space on his bed. "Come here."

"Why didn't you just tell me?" She blurted out as she carefully sat down.

"Ironically, because I wanted to avoid this." He said, his voice full of regret. "I wanted to protect you, one last time."

"Well.." She uttered, "You can't protect me from this."

He cleared his throat, "A father's stupid mistake."

"I wish...I wish you didn't drag James into this." Lily said clenching her eyes shut. "You should have...I could have handled it."

"Lily, it's not that I think you aren't strong enough. It's that I wasn't strong enough..." His words dropped off as his face grew tight and tears flowed down his reluctant cheeks. "I didn't want you to see this. I...I don't want to leave you."

Lily fell forward, her crying becoming hysterical. "Dad, I don't want you to leave! Isn't there...anything...?"

"No. I wish there was." He said, his voice shattering. "But I'm afraid it's my time."

"How can it be? How can you not be around?" Lily whimpered.

He swallowed and said, "The lawyer will be at the house on Friday to divide up all..." Mr. Evans pressed his lips together and regrouped, "all of my assets. I'm not having a wake or a funeral. I just want you to take my ashes and scatter them somewhere you think will fit me. Okay?"

"Oh...Okay." She stammered, her hands swiping the burning tears on her face. "Okay."

"I want you to know..." He halted to wipe his worn, graying face. "That I couldn't be more proud of you. Do you understand me? No matter what your sister says, no matter what anyone says, I. Am. Proud. Of. You."

Lily nodded, sniffling noisily.

"I love you more than I can ever explain to you and my only regret is that I won't be there when you do all the marvelous things I know you will do." He let out a shallow breath, his grip on her hand tightening. "And even when I'm gone, I'm with you, do you understand Lily? I will never leave you. I'm always going to be there-"

"I love you so much dad." She sobbed, kissing his hands, and pressing them to her face.

Mr. Evans smiled. "And I want you to promise me something...Actually two things."

"Anything."

"Don't stay mad at James for too long. I know you have your mother's temper and you can hold onto a grudge, but ...he didn't want to do it Lily, and he owled me every day to check on me. That's not a boy that doesn't care."

Lily tensed up.

"I'm not saying now. I'm just saying eventually, forgive him."

"I don't know if I can."