The Rise And Fall Of The Stag And The Doe

tonight is the night

James lay back on his bed, his curtains were closed and he was only in his boxers. At some point he was going to have to get up and do his Head Boy duties, but he needed a minute. His chest was heavy, as were his eyelids from lack of sleep. He had received the news late the night before but there was nothing he could do about it. They weren't having a funeral because it had been written in their wills that they didn't want one, but James couldn't forget how small her daughter Anna had been. He could remember receiving an owl when she was born. The feeling of holding Anna in his arms during his birthday dinner haunted him.

It was suffocating to think he'd never see Anna grow up and would never see Amy again. What kind of monster would kill an innocent child and woman simply because they didn't agree with the bigoted pureblood agenda? Their house was destroyed and Amy's husband was killed last. James couldn't imagine how awful that would be. It was one thing to sacrifice yourself for your family because then you could trick yourself into believing they might survive. But to walk in and see that the worst has already happened...James would rather die before seeing a family member hurt before him.

"You two just don't like each other because you are exactly the same."

"I don't mind her. She's a bit annoying, but she's alright...Besides, I don't think anyone really is like me."

James put all of his weight on his arms. "You aren't really that unique mate. Just a pretty face, really."

"As long as you admit that it's a pretty face." Sirius winked at him, gripping the doorway. His expression fell for a bit and he bit his bottom lip. "You're okay though right? ...Honestly?"

"I'll be okay. I wish it didn't happen...but I'll be okay."

"If you need anything..."

James nodded, rubbing his worn face.

"Alright mate. I'll see you later. Call me in the mirror if you need me."

"Will do." James replied.

Once Sirius left his room, James forced himself to get up and get changed. A heaviness hung on his shoulders while he moved but he didn't think about it. His morning patrol had been quick, but he'd just taken a shower and stayed down. Before his night patrol he would have to go and check on his parents, but until then he was determined to ignore the depression that was creeping up on him.

One positive thing about being Head Boy was that, despite the fact that all of his friends had the password to his common room, he didn't have a share a room with anyone. He could wake up when he wished to and shower whenever he wanted. Hell, he could stay in his room all day and do nothing and no one could stop him. Even if he chose not to use this freedom, it still gave him a small sense of comfort.

Dorcas did a lot of strange things; Lily had grown used to this, but even she was beginning to get suspicious. Every time Lily tried to make plans with anyone in their year, Dorcas would find a way to block it. At first she thought she was crazy but when she had been given the opportunity to tutor a fifth year, Dorcas came out of nowhere and said that Lily would be happy to do it.

And it wasn't that Lily minded tutoring someone, it was that Dorcas clearly had an alternative agenda. Asking Marlene was useless, she would just shrug and look away as though Lily hadn't asked anything at all. Lily even considered asking Remus what was going on, but she had a feeling that if Marlene wasn't going to say anything then Remus wouldn't either. So she played along and acted as if she had no idea that Dorcas was doing something.

She went to her tutoring session and when Dorcas came by looking for James, (at that point Lily remembered that Dorcas had asked a day earlier when he patrolled) Lily put on her most convincing smile and said, "Oh I think I'm going to call it an early night."