The Rise And Fall Of The Stag And The Doe

Ghosts that we knew

Sirius knocked on Dorcas's door, before strolling right in. "Meadowes, what's this music you keep blasting 'round the house?"

"You know what really bothers me? Conformity. It really bothers me when everyone else likes something and it's this kind of social pressure to like it too. Like in order to be normal you need to belong to something. Like you can't just like something because you genuinely feel something. So I defiantly hated them...and then I listened to them..." Dorcas grimaced, "Rat bastards."

"...So, refresh my memory," He mocked her. "Who is this?"

"The Beatles."

"Ah...I like them."

Dorcas's eyebrows puckered together, along with a tight scowl. "That's nice. Now why are you really in my room?"

Sirius shrugged timidly. His face nonchalant, but his chest tight.

"How's your face feeling?" Dorcas asked with a justified smirk.

Scowling, Sirius turned on his heel and left the room as quickly as he entered it. For a second he considered returning to his room, but he thought better of it. He decided to grab something to eat down in the kitchen. Anything was better than sitting by himself alone.

He was reaching for an apple on the bowl above the sink when he heard someone walk up.

"So you shagged Marlene," James began boldly, leaning against the counter and taking a rather large bite out of his own apple.

Sirius froze, his fingers brushing the bowl, before he withdrew his hand and pulled back. "Uh...yeah..."

"Were you ever planning to tell me?"

"...No."

"You broke your word."

"I'm really hoping we can hug this out. Come on," Sirius raised his arms, ignoring the look on his friends face, "lets just bring it in and never talk about it again."

"Sirius."

"What?! Come ON! I'm sorry I ...repeatedly-slept-with your-sister... I REALLY don't think it's that big of a deal. It's over. It didn't mean anything...So why don't we just drop it?"

"Did you honestly just say Marlene meant nothing to you?"

Sirius backed up, resting his arms on the counters and putting all of his weight there, but he said nothing.

"So you don't care about her ...at all..." James pressed him.

"No, no of course I do. I'm just saying it wasn't a big deal-"

James interrupted again, this time he was sharper. "So you are saying Marlene isn't a big deal. That, she's just another girl to you?"

Sirius let out a frustrated sigh. "No...That isn't what I'm saying-"

"Then what are you saying?"

Gaping, Sirius shook his head, running a hand through his hair anxiously. "...It just...It's complicated alright?! I didn't...I didn't mean for it to happen. I tried to stay away from her once I realized...how I felt, but then Lily and Remus forced us to talk...and..."

"So you...Wait..." Recognition rose inside of James as he looked at his best friend. "You...She's right isn't she? You love her?"

"Doesn't matter now does it?" Sirius asked bitterly, grinding his teeth.

"Why didn't you just tell her? Why-"

"No, just no..." Sirius snapped, "Because she said she was done and I believed her."