How We Fell

[21]

J a m i e

I know I shouldn't look back at him anymore, but like I always do, I miserably failed again. Nilingon ko siya at nakitang seryoso lamang siyang nakatitig sa aming dalawa habang patuloy kaming lumalayo. Sumikip ang dibdib ko.

I hope you understand that this is the best for us, Keith. Malayo ka, malayo ako. The less communication, the better. The easier. We only have to ignore, until we forget...

Funny, how I say that like I could even ever forget you.

"Ruther, ang bagal mong maglakad..." Narinig ko ang mababang boses ni Xavier na seryoso pa rin. Napatingin ako sa kanya at nakitang medyo malayo na pala ang pagitan namin. God, my brain's probably floating again.

He slowly shook his head as he walked towards me to take my hand and cling it onto his arm. Napatingin ako doon.

"There," aniya. "Humawak ka lang. So you could keep up with my pace..."

I absentmindedly nodded my head and didn't look back anymore. I heavily sighed as I remembered what just happened there a while ago. Keith... was honestly acting weird. I mean, I get that he used to be my best friend but, really? He has no say on who I date... Uhm, not that this is a date... It's just...

"Hey... Are you even listening to me?"

Naputol ang pag-iisip ko nang biglang nagsalita si Xavier. Tumingala ako sa kanya at sinalubong ang kanyang tingin.

"H-ha? Sorry, ano ba ulit 'yon?" sabi ko at pilit kong itinutuon ang buong atensyon ko sa kung ano mang sasabihin niya.

"I was asking you where you wanted to eat..." sabi naman niya. Tumigil siya sa paglalakad kaya napatigil rin ako. "Ruth, okay ka lang? Are you with me?"

Tumango ako at nag-iwas na ng tingin. "Of course. I'm fine... Don't mind me. Kahit saan na lang tayo kumain. Saan mo ba gusto?"

He lifted my chin up to look at him. My heart raced when our eyes met. He stared at me for about a minute, I think. I don't really know. Parang pansamantalang tumigil ang mundo at ang oras ko.

God, what is wrong with me?

"I..." I waited for the next words but nothing came. Instead, he heaved a sigh, stopped holding my chin, and looked away.

Napakunot ako ng noo. "Uhm... May sasabihin ka?" tanong ko sa kanya.

Lumunok siya at umiling. "Wala." He cleared his throat. "I... I think a new Korean resto just opened at the third floor. Shall we go there?"

Kahit nagtataka ay tumango na lang rin ako. "Okay."

Pinagtitinginan kami ng mga tao habang naglalakad. Oh, well, maybe not me, but Xavier. May mga iilan pang mga babae ang napapalingon sa kanya kahit nalagpasan na namin. Sure... The guy I'm with right now is a total head turner. Alright, Jamie! Be freaking proud!

Pasimple kong hinigpitan ang hawak sa braso niya. Good thing he didn't mind it. Mukhang wala lang sa kanya iyon. Whew. Napangiti ako.

"Table for two, sir?" tanong ng waiter nang makapasok na kami sa loob. The new restaurant looked fancy. Hindi rin crowded. I find the ambience cozy.

"Yes, please..." ani Xavier. Agad kaming dinala sa isang table na kaming dalawa lang. Binigyan kami ng tig-isang menu. I quickly scanned it. The prices are expensive.

Kunot-noo kong tiningnan si Xavi. Seryoso pa rin siyang pumipili ng oorderin niya.

"Sure kang dito tayo?" I asked him. "Pwede namang sa iba na lang..."