Anyone but You :: soonhoon

ABY :: 13

*jihoon*

'cause its you and me,

and all of the people with nothing to do,

nothing to lose.

cause its you and me,

and all of the people and i dont why,

i cant take my eyes off of you.'

my forehead suddenly creased as i read what i just wrote on the white piece of paper in front of me. i re-read it and groaned in frustration.

"fvck what am i writing?!"

i crumpled those without thinking a second thought. i threw it in the trashbin nearby. i panned my head side to side getting irritated now. geez. its almost midnight yet i couldn't even come up with the better lyrics. i keep zoning out and keeps writing nonsense lyrics on the paper. like how many times now? i lost count already.

i take a sip on my coffee that is already cold due to its exposure adding some cold air from the aircon on the side. i leaned against the back of the swiveling chair looking somewhere on my unit still sipping my cold coffee. im supposed to be sleeping right now if only i did come with the better lyrics more earlier. why is it so hard now? i keep thinking nothing but. . but soonyoung's eyes and smile. arg.

that bastard really keeps bugging my head and now i cant even think straight and focus on my work. its frustrating you know? i need this to be done by this week before spring break and its two days from now. tomorrow is saturday and i need to work for it in only two days. those are enough if i could only focus on this one but because soonyoung keeps getting on my way, i couldn't do it.

i stood up and walked towards the door. i twitched the doorknob and went outside. the cold breeze of the night greeted me, it was so cold i needed to hug myself. i walked to the railings, seeing nothing but galaxy-like lights from the lampposts and some fairy lights from the nearby households.

"cant sleep?"

i looked sideways and i saw jeonghan hyung holding a cup of tea on his right hand while the other one was on his sweaters pocket. he looked like he went out to buy those tea.

my brows furrowed before i nodded. "unfinished works. how about you? you went outside, aint you?" i even arched a brow and eyed the tea he was holding. he take a sip on it. the side of the cup of tea has his name written on it.

he nodded. "someone just treat me some coffee."

"at this hour?"

"this is the only time we could see each other."

oh. i remember, he wasnt allowed to have suitors or even to court the girl he likes. he was like wonwoo's situation, but the only difference is that, jeonghan hyung is only not allowed to have a lover until he graduates and reached his dreams unlike me and the rest. if jeonghan hyung wants to date someone, they should hide those out or his parents would go harm on the person who he dates. thats terrible, aint it?

"who?"

he smiled and leaned his elbow on the railings. "seungcheol." he seems very confident to mention the guy's name he's currently seeing right now. i can see the bliss on his eyes. "you? do you have some problems why you hadn't done yet with your works?"

i rolled my eyes. "why does we think of people? i mean, yeah, its feels like. . ugh! i can't explain its just like it cant get out of my head."

"soonyoung?"

"its. . its not like that." i heave a sighed and massaged the bridge of my nose. jeonghan hyung laughed at me which made me glared at him. "i dont like him, okay?"

"i didnt even said anything, you're too defensive ji. its getting obvious."

"what obvious?"

he looked at me. "he keeps bugging you right? and he can't get out of your head, there's this only reason why. ." he walked towards me he leaned his head closer to me until it reached my ears. "you care for him." he winked at me and sip his tea before walking away leaving me here, confuse.

did i? did i care for him? care? as in care? like the way i care for the five of them? is that what jeonghan hyung had said right? care, only care because. . okay so why do we care for someone? arg. im getting confuse time by time.

i care because. . i value my friends. . they are important to me. special to be specific. does that mean that, im feeling those way to soonyoung, too? oh wait! yes! i did! im feeling the same im feeling for my friends! because soonyoung is only JUST a friend. yeah a friend. thats why i care.

thats it. im treating soonyoung now as a friend thats why, right?

but why. . but why is my heart saying that the care im feeling for soonyoung, is different from the care im feeling to my friends?

what kind of care is that?