Anyone but You :: soonhoon

ABY :: 86

*jihoon*

"i-im leaving. . in months."

i couldn't say it that much, i couldn't say it properly. it was still too much to absorb to me. i felt so flabbergasted. it takes so much to process everything what had happened today.

for some of you, of course, it'll be easy since it was your dream. you are now stepped closer to your dreamsㅡbut it was different from me. i cant leave my friends behind just because i am there enjoying my life achieving my dreams. i want to fulfill those with them by my side, i want to fulfill those with them along the way.

i cant leave them here.

"congratulations!" i stunned by the fact that jeonghan hyung hugged me so tight. i saw others face was shock. their mouths left agape. "im so proud of you my jihoon!" he squeezed our body making me hug him back to balance myself.

jeonghan hyung freed the hug after one whole minute. i felt him crying on my shoulder so i cupped his face even though he was taller than me meters. he was crying but i saw the happiness in his eyesㅡfor sure he was crying out of joy. i can see it, eyes didnt lie. and the way he said he was proud of me, i felt it, i feels like my mom was saying the same to me.

"jihoon hyung! were so proud of you!"

i laughed when they all gathered to me and hug me tight. i couldn't move properly so i let them squeezed my body as i was between seungkwan and jeonghan hyung. i heard some of them are sobbing, and i know it was jeonghan hyung, seokmin and seungkwan. i barely sawㅡwonwoo cried. the last time i saw him crying was before when minghao's incident regarding his boyfriend.

they freed the hug which made me inhaled a large amount of air. i felt like i was being suffocated by their hugs. geez. but those are warm and i feel how proud they are to me right now.

i wipe my tears away and eyed each one of them. these five persons are my family, they showed what it feels like having someone to lean on. and someone who will stay no matter what happened. a friendship turned to family. i couldn't ask for more.

"i-im leaving guys. . was that devastating enough?" i tried to sound it as a joke but i actually breaking in the inside.

the five of them stared at me. they exchange glances afterwards but seungkwan smiled to me genuinely.

"go hyung. . go and fly. go and chase your dreams."

my eyes widened. i didnt see that coming. i didnt expect that from seungkwan. he would usually cry and begged for that someone not leave him behind. . but right, he wants me to go. he wants me to fly and chase my dreams. he wants me to live my dreams even without them. this seungkwan. . is different.

jeonghan hyung and the others nod their heads. minghao averted his gaze to me as he wipe his tears. wonwoo was staring at me and he nod once our gaze met. seokmim did the same.

"i could say the same as what seungkwan had said." jeonghan hyung held my hand and rubbed those using his fingers. "we wont stop you from achieving your dreams. go, soar high, and live your dreams."

"y-your not gonna be sad?"

"we will." wonwoo retorted. "but we dont have the rights to hold you back and wont let you go. we are all wanting to achieve our dreams by our own. so we're not hold you back, ji. your dreams? go. fly."

"we are family to bring each other up, and not to bring each other down. we are proud of you hyung, and if thats the only way for you to achieve your one and only dream, we wont hold you back." seokmin said smiling from ear to ear.

"i will be sad." minghao said and pouted. "but i also want the same so in order for you to live your dreams even though it was away from us, go. what they said was right. go and fly jihoon hyung. the world is yours to conquer."

i cried even more hearing them letting me go to fly and chase my dreams even though i will be away from them for a long long time. they hugged me again, but seokmin hugged me much tigther as i cried on his chest. they are all taller than me and i was just on their chest line. arg.

after we cried, we laughed in unison and synchronizingly wipe our own tears except for wonwoo who didnt even shed one single tear, but his expression says how happy he was.

i explained what will happen in the next few weeks. i told them everything what mr. han had told me earlier. they complained but they all ended up agreeing to let me go and fly. i was really happy to know that they wont hold me back, if earlier, i was being devoured by thoughts that i will leave them behind. but after hearing all their opinions and words, that made me more inspire to achieve more of my dreams and be the best version of myself. that i deserve the chance they gave me tl achieve my dream.

these five person surrounds me is my biggest inspiration. .while soonyoung is my greatest above all motivation.

"did your parents already knows about this?" wonwoo asked eating some chips he and seungkwan are sharing.

i shook my head. "ill contact both of them later. i will explain everything to them."

what i mean to the both. . i will call them in different time. first was my mom then my father. my friends didnt know that my parents are already splitted up. i never told them, i never informed them. plus my mom was doing fine there at busan, she opened her own brand there with the help of her friends and solji-ssi.

im happy for that.

"how about soonyoung hyung?"

thats when i stilled midway of me munching the doughnut on my mouth. i havent told about this to soonyoung yet. and i also did remind mr. han not to tell it to soonyoung so that it would lessen the hurt once he knew. i want him to know this from me. i want myself to be the one to tell him about this.

i shook my head and swallowed the food inside my mouth. "he havent. but ill inform him right away." i assured them even though i didnt know where to start informing soonyoung regarding the situations.

"i hope that before you leave, soonyoung and you will finally have the closure you both deserve." jeonghan complained.

i nodded. "i wont leave him without explaining himself to me, i swear."

"can you do it without him, hyung?" seungkwan asked looking at me like he was in pain.

"yah kwan, jihoon and soonyoung hyung's love story is different from yours and hansol." seokmin argued.

seungkwan shook his head. "but still. . they are leaving for their dreams. and i was just asking if jihoon could do it withouㅡ"

"i think so. but i wont last a day without thinking about him. he is my everything."

and everything is soonyoung.

and ill swear to myself that i will love anyone but him. . because of all anyone, it was still soonyoung. for a lifetime.