Anyone but You :: soonhoon

ABY :: 89

*jihoon*

"im really really sorry, ji."

we were here in my room all along. i was there playing with my both hands that was on my lap while listening to his story. and he was there talking and telling me how he loves me so much.

that he never. . as in ever outgrew and he never fall out of love. everything was just a lie. everything he did was for me to achieve my one and only dreams.

i was really mad at how coward he is. if he truly loves me like that, he would never done it, or he wouldnt have to choose between the two. we can fight together to save our relastionship, and i can do whatever it takes to acheive my dreams by my own. i admit that i got pissed by how he let those happen when he do nothing but to love me more than his life.

but i still dont get to be that mad and pissed, knowing that he choose the latter for me not to ruin my one and only dreams. lina has a lot of connections, she is mr. han's niece after all, so it would be easy for her to talk to mr. han and let me down. and soonyoung choose the latter. . he choose those because even if we are not together anymore, its fine to him just to see me achieving my dreams.

i honestly, wanted to punch him, tell him how coward he was, how idiotic his actions are and how nonsense it was. . but talking about my happiness and my dreams always turns the opposite. he really cared for me that he gone selfless.

"arent you going to say anything, ji?" he asked looking at me. his eyes were teary. . but i told him not to cry cause i would cry also. geez.

i held my head low, still playing with my both hands. "i was. . i mean, i wanted to punch you, hurt you, slapped you and all." i bit my lower lip and heave a sighed. "you're so coward. you let me looked like a fool with that. you could have told me the reason more sooner. you know im always ready to listen to you."

i heard him heaving a sighed. "lina was on guard. she wanted that to happㅡ"

"you could have find some ways. you dont know how pain i was suffering within that days. . i was really breaking and drowning by my own thoughts. soonyoung. . i keep," i took a deep breath since i can feel my breathings gets heavier time to time remembering those days i wanted to forget. "soonyoung i keep asking myself where did i lacked to make you outgrew your love to me. i was here sulking in the corner while you are there enjoying lina's company."

"i never outgrew my love for you, babe. i would never. . as in ever." he said like he was begging me to believe in his words.

"soonyoung, i love you.. so much." i whispered as i tighten the grip on the hem of my shirt. "and what you did there made me suffer. made my heart broke. but you know the plost twist?" i wipe my tears and slowly looked at him meeting his gaze. he was already crying too. "that no matter how you broke me, how you made me looked like a fool there, how you lowkey cheated on me. . i was still here, i was still here wanting you so bad."

i smiled when he sobbed already. he tried so hard to stifle those but he still ended up sobbing. it was too cute of him i had to giggle and flexed my hand to reach for his cheeks and i wipe his tears away.

this man. . no matter how much he made me suffer, i still cant find anyone but him. he was still there. . above me, and no one can replace him here in my heart.