Anyone but You :: soonhoon

ABY :: 29

*jihoon*

"minghao!"

"minghao hyung!"

we are all screamed his name when minghao suddenly passed out in front of us. and that moment, i lose my strength and my everything. i felt like my world automatically fall just like his body lying on the cold beige tiles. i let go of his grip since im losing myself in front of them. jeonghan hyung tried so hard to helped the nurses to lift up minghao's body. seungkwan left the clinic while crying out loud.

seokmin rushed to me as he help me to sat on the nearby bench. wonwoo clenching his jaw, tears streaming down his face. seokmin hugged me and he cried on my shoulder. i clenched my fist as mingming's face pictured on my head. i stood up making both wonwoo and seokmin shifted their gaze to me. i was about to go out when they held me on my arms.

"where are you going?" wonwoo asked.

i swallowed hard. "mingming. he needs to pay for what he did to mingㅡ"

"no please!" seokmin blocked my way. "no please hyung."

"i need to! i want to seㅡ"

"jihoon please not now." even wonwoo blocked my way.

i heave a sighed. "that mingming needs to pay! get out of my way! both of you!" i exclaimed while pointing to the both of them. but they did not followed me, they are both shooking their heads side to side. i brushed my hair in frustration. "guys please! that mingming punk needs to pay! i want to punch him hard on the face. please!

wonwoo shook his head over and over. "its not the time for that jihoon. we are wanting the same way but its not the time!" he argued back.

"then when's the time wonwoo?! when minghao's between life and death?!" i said pointing at minghao lying on the bed. "i dont want to wait any longer! that punk needs to pay for what he did!"

"please hyung calm down. its not the time for that. minghao hyung is unconscious. please hyung." seokmin cried even louder which makes me more fragile. fuck this. why am i soft in the inside?! "i cant afford seeing minghao hyung like that, thats why i couldn't afford seeing one of us unconscious too. please. i dont want to lose myself."

"please jihoon."

i shut my eyes firmly. i clenched my both fist. i swallowed hard and i even heave a sighed to calm myself down. i opened my eyes again and both of them crying in front of me. i nodded which seokmin threw his body to me and hugged me tighter. i hugged him back trying to gained some strength from him. it did. but i know it wasnt enough strength to make me strong again.

we both freed the hug and sat back at the bench nearby. jeonghan hyung threw his body to wonwoo and then there he cried louder just like what me and seokmin did to each other. i can see that minghao was being taking care of by the three nurses, the poor man on the side was sleeping also. he gained so much punched from minghao that he even passed out just like the latter.

i felt like im being suffocated inside watching the nurses checking and medicating minghao. i informed them that ill be going outside. they didnt hold back but they reminded me that i need to calm myself down and dont make voilent reaction towards others. i nodded and went outside.

once i got outside, i saw seungkwan with the man who looked like an american actor. they we're eating but i can see that seungkwan doesnt have enough appetite to eat more than usual. i turned my back before he could see me. i dont want to interrupt their moment, i know seungkwan is the youngest and the most fragile among the six of us. i understand him gaining strength to other people. i wanted to have someone like that too. i felt so tired today.

i went to the cafe to buy some water. my throat is dry due to crying out loud earlier. after i bought one large size bottled water, i went outside the cafe and i flinched and even screamed when soonyoung suddenly appeared in front of me. i glared at him but not the same anymore because im tired.

"h-hey, i heard what happeneㅡ"

"of course you would know. every single soul in this university had witnessed what happened. fool." i rolled my eyes and continued my pace.

he followed me from behind. he keeps on talking and asking me what had really happened. he has a paper bag with his hands. i stopped for a moment and turned my attention to him. he stop in front of me looking at me straight to my eyes.

"get out." i said in hoarse voice.

"j-ji, i want to helㅡ"

"i dont need your fucking help. just get out. stay away from me."

"i dont want." he argued.

i shut my eyes and heave a sighed. "please. soonyoung please. i dont want to argue anymore. just go. i dont want to see you either. just go." i opened my eyes. "just go soonyoung!" i hissed and pointed in the side where the quadrangle was.

he shook his head. "i dont want to leave in this kind of situaㅡ"

"dont act like you really care for me! i know who you are soonyoung! stop playing games with me! stop making me like a fool! so please! please just go!"

his forehead creased. "w-what games? i-im not playing with you ji. i told you i like you, im certain to yㅡ"

"bullshit!"

my tears started to swelled up on my face again. remembering what i just heard earlier makes my heart aches again. .but this time, i can feel it scattered into tiny pieces. this heart break im feeling is different from what i felt earlier. this is different. this is the real pain they are saying. this is the heart break they are talking. im suffering it right now. my heart is breaking. . breaking.

"i am certain to you, ji. i swear."

i looked at him. "you have the audacity to tell me that when you we're courting lina already? fuck you soonyoung."

"im not. im not courting her. please believe me babe."

"just go soonyoung." he tried so hard to reach for me but i keep myself away from him. i even fasten my pace for him not to reach me. "just go soonyoung please! please im tired."

"i can help you."

"jUST GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!" i spat in front of his face. i even throw the bottled water in the ground forcefully. he couldn't able to speak and he stood froze on his spot. i glared at him before running away.

im running with my tears keep swelling up my face. im so tired. im fucking tired for this day. i just wanna lay down on my bed and sleep then would wake up when's everything fine already. i dont know i can handle this kind of situation. minghao. mingming. my friends. soonyoung. my everything. i didnt see this day coming. i didnt know that this moment would come into my life.

do i deserve this heart break im feeling?