The Young Mate

Chapter 48

Lila (Trigger warning: Suicidal Themes)

I woke up confused. The lights seemed too bright to be real. When the fogginess wore off I tried to sit up. But I pulled the IV too much and it pulled out of my arm. I sighed and hit the 'call nurse' button. My favorite nurse Janie walked in with a smile on her face.

"Welcome back to reality honey." She wiped away the blood and cut some gauze to put on the small puncture. She started a new IV on my hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Thirsty." I sound like Gollum. She walked out into the hall and brought in a tray that had a pitcher of water and a cup. But there were also at least a dozen balloons and a small teddy bear.

"Your vampire friends said they wanted to stay but they are busy on the boarders. So they left this." She then handed me a small card.

Mrs. Luna,

Since we are busy we couldn't come pay your highness a visit. So we will come when your awake if we can. Don't worry about us. Just focus healing your brain. Lord knows you need it.

Uriley and the crew

I rolled my eyes and put the card on the table. I can always count on him to be sarcastic. Before I knew it Landon was in the door and hugging me. But the sudden movement of my neck made my head throb. I can tell the way he flinched he felt it too.

"I'm sorry I was just worried." He set down a small back pack before he kissed my forehead.

"It's fine." I pulled his arm so he knew to lay with me. I'm cold. Sue me. "What all happened after I got knocked out?" He sighed and flopped next to me. I can tell he hasn't slept.

"It was just something to make people freak out so they could get you. But they got the wrong person. They got-" He choked up.

"Where's Jane? I saw her last night." He rubbed one hand over his face and then buried his face in my neck, gently.

"They got her." He started sobbing and I opened my mouth to say something but no sound came out. What is wrong with me? Everybody keeps getting hurt because of me. Everybody would be better off without me. This pack is suffering because of me. Two boys are going to grow up without their dad because of me. My best friend and soul sister is gone because of me.

"I'm so sorry." I yelled out. I didn't realize how hard I was crying until I talked. "This is my fault." Landon lifted his head off my chest and gave me a funny look.

"How is this your fault?" He stood and from the look he was getting, he was getting angry.

"If I wasn't here then none of this would of happened." My body started to shake so badly that I couldn't control it. I swung my legs around the side of my bed. I stared at the ground until the tiles started to blur together. I yanked out my IV once again.

"Lila." He said carefully. I stood and barley held myself up. He carefully took my arm.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed. I didn't mean to scream. I felt dizzy and couldn't get in a full breath.

"Hey your having a panic attack. Please get back in bed." He begged quietly.

"I don't want to get back in bed." I put my palms flat on the side table and let the coolness calm me just a little bit. Then my hands wrapped around something cooler. A pair of scissors. I slowly shuffled to the corner of the room.

"What's in your hand?" He asked gently. I turned and he was standing very still.

"I can't keep hurting people." I opened the scissors and looked at the blade. My way out.

"You haven't done anything wrong cherry." Now he was trembling as well.

"People are dying to save me. People are putting their lives in danger for me. I can't keep letting people get hurt." I put the blade against my wrist.

"They want to help you. They have a choice to help you and they say yes." He took a cautious step towards me.

"But if I were dead then they wouldn't have that choice." I pressed that blade down slightly.

"What about me?" He asked. "What will I do when you this?"

"You can take care of your pack without people trying to kill you. I wont hurt you." I was shaking so hard I stuttered. What is wrong with me?

Landon

Her whole body was just one big tremor. I was afraid that if she shook too hard she'd cut herself. My I was shaking as well. No matter what I said she had a counter of why she should die. Nothing could convince her she was needed to live. And I'm not fast enough to get to her and make her drop the scissors. I tried to stay still because if I move forward too much then she presses harder. My heart squeezed looking at her in this state. She went from being her normal self to a side I've never seen. her showing her mental state.

"Lila please. I can't live without you." I slowly got on my knees. "I'm begging you Cherry. Please put the scissors down." The sound of quiet footsteps made me turn my head ever so slightly. Then I smelt a familiar scent. Uriley and his friends cam around the corner. They all looked very concerned. I knew he was fast enough to get to her. I flicked my eyes from him to her back to him then to her. I hope he knew what I meant by that. By the rush of air next to me I knew he did.

Right before my eyes I saw him restrict her arms and legs with his own. She screamed and went into full freak-out mode. She wouldn't stop screaming and writhing. I could barely process what was happening. That girl named Jessica rushed forward in my place and took the scissors from her clamper hand. I let my knees go out from under me and I sat on the ground motionless. Nurses finally were able to get something to sedate her. Uriley had scratches all over his face from her trying to get free. I know he didn't mind though.

This is my fault. I should have seen her problems from the get go. There were signs from the beginning I should have seen. The anxiousness and insomnia. I could have prevented this. And now Jane is gone and Lila wants to be as well. I should have waited to tell her. I should have done something. I should have kept her in bed. Why is everything falling apart. Why does the bad karma follow my beautiful mate? She is so perfect and should never have to struggle but she has her entire life. It is time for this to end. Now.