how to catch feelings

24

I had a text from Cole waiting for me when Damaris and I returned to the dorm with our breadsticks.

"Can I talk to you about something?" was all it said.

If that wasn't cause for massive anxiety, I didn't know what was.

"I'm gonna go upstairs for a few," I said to Damaris. "You wanna start a movie or something? I'll be right back down."

"Okay, sure. Just be quick, or I'ma eat your breadsticks."

"I'm taking them with me, you dummy."

I hurried up to my room and jumped onto my bed.

"What's up?" I texted him.

The suspense was enough to kill me, but fortunately I didn't have to wait long for him to respond.

"I've just been thinking... It's about Dax."

Was I disappointed or relieved? Let's just go with relieved.

Hella relieved.

"Okay. What about him?"

"I didn't really think much of it at the time, but I did talk to him earlier that day. And I've been thinking about it a lot lately. And I've just been wondering if... if I know more than I thought."

WTF?

Play it cool, Nat. Handle it like a friend, not a journalist. Forget the paper.

"How so?"

The typing bubble came up, then went away, then came back up, then went away again.

Holy crap, the suspense.

I wanted to say something comforting, like we don't have to talk about it, or never mind, or something to the effect of I'm sorry you're struggling right now and I wish I could do something to help but I don't know what to do and I don't know how to put that into words so I guess just neither of us is going say anything.

The little bubble again.

And then a text.

"Can we walk?"

Walk?

"Like, around campus?"

"Yeah. Just for a few minutes. I'm kind of... freaking out a little. I need to get some air. Two birds with one stone."

"Okay, yeah, sure. Where do you want to meet?"

"You live in the building right next to the volleyball court, right?"

"Yeah, but I can just meet you somewhere halfway."

"I'm already walking over."

"Okay."

I set my phone down.

What the actual hell?

I grabbed my phone and my lanyard, shoved them in my hoodie pocket, and hurried downstairs.

"Took you long— Going somewhere?" Damaris asked.

"Just for a short walk."

"Right now?"

"Yeah. Sorry." I set my breadsticks on the table. "Tell Meg she can have these if she gets back before me."

"Okay. Are you going to the office?"

"Sure." I opened the door and stepped out before she could ask me any more questions.

I glanced around for Cole, then saw him headed my way, still on the far side of the volleyball court.