how to catch feelings

34

As usual, I wasn't in the mood to come up with questions just then. It wouldn't have been too difficult to come up with them on the spot, as I had been reporting for over two years at that point, but I just wasn't feeling it.

I logged out of my email so I could pretend I hadn't read his email.

Responding could be tomorrow's problem.

I went back downstairs.

Meg was still reading, but Damaris had joined her on the couch and was on her phone, undoubtedly scrolling through Tik Tok.

She busted out laughing.

Yep, definitely Tik Tok.

I slouched down in the butterfly chair, squirming until I was comfortable enough for a long Tik Tok session.

Gotta reward myself for making half an effort at my job.

I had half a dozen videos waiting for me from Meg, and another two from Cole.

I watched those, sent back acknowledgement of having watched them, and then switched back to the For You page.

Cole almost immediately sent back another video.

It was the kind that I absolutely didn't understand but he obviously seemed to think was hilarious, so I sent back a laughing emoji.

Good enough.

Further scrolling found me watching and rewatching a video of a kitten eating Cheetos with all the gusto of a pie-eating contestant. Cole would enjoy that.

I sent it to him and then closed out of the app.

I was about to open 2048 when it occurred to me to tell Cole what Amber had said.

So I opened Messenger instead.

"I talked to Amber the other day," I said.

It took a moment, but he eventually texted back, "About Dax?"

"Yeah."

"Fun."

"Not really. It was pretty weird. TBH I'm still kinda shook."

"How so?"

"Well, she said that they had gone out to dinner as friends and then the day it happened, they had decided to give dating another go."

He saw the message, but didn't respond right away. I understood.

"They were getting back together?" he asked finally.

"Yeah."

"So... everything I told you..."

"Doesn't necessarily make a difference. And it doesn't change how he'd been acting or the conclusions you drew. We still don't know what happened that night."

"I guess."

"I emailed the police chief earlier. He agreed to tell me what he could about the investigation."

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"You work for the newspaper. I know how that goes. Please don't make a big deal out of this."

"Out of a student death? One that occurred on campus? You're joking, right?"

"I don't want it to get blown out of proportions. People speculate. Things get twisted. I don't want Dax getting dragged through the dirt so the paper can get views."

To say I was shocked was an understatement.

I expected this kind of reaction from other people, from professors, from admin, but from a friend? From Cole?