how to catch feelings

62

I was surprised to have their response after just the five days, but when I opened the attached PDF I understood why.

The university was claiming it didn't have records of the documents I was requesting.

BS.

However, it's not like I knew what I was looking for either.

Sometimes you go fishing and you just don't catch anything.

Still a bummer.

Maybe I could go at it a different way.

I opened Messenger and shot Cole a text. "Free to talk?"

"Um, sure. What's up?"

"Walk?"

"Okay. Meet you in five?"

"Deal." I grabbed my keys and a jacket and raced downstairs.

"Office emergency?" Damaris asked, watching me just about jump into my Bearpaws.

"Something like that."

"So definitely not the office."

"Didn't say that."

"You also didn't say it was."

"What?"

"Exactly."

I shook my head and said, "I'll be back in a bit," before hurrying out of the dorm.

I spotted Cole on the other side of the court and met him halfway.

"So what's up?" he asked.

"Okay, so when I talked to Jared, he said something about a suspicion that Harding convinced Dax's professors to pass him. You know anything about that?"

Cole raised an eyebrow. "Jared said that?"

"Yeah."

He frowned. "No, I hadn't heard about that. But I wasn't as buddy-buddy with Dax as some as the other guys were."

"Like who?"

"Well, Jared, for starters. And I guess Dillon and Mike."

"Do you think they would know anything about this?"

"I dunno, maybe." He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Maybe I'm just stupid, but how is this relevant to his death?"

I didn't answer immediately, taking a couple seconds to gather my thoughts. "No one's said anything about Dax using the drugs. Just that he had them on him. And the drugs may have been passed to him by Harding."

"So... like an exchange?"

"Yeah."

"Harding gets Dax's grades fixed, Dax acts as the middle man for whatever little business Harding's got going on."

"That's what I was thinking. So. Would they know?"

"It's worth asking them."

"Do you want me to, or do you want to, or...?"

"However you want to do it."

"Do you think they'd be more willing to talk to you about it? Since they know you?"

"I dunno. Maybe. A bunch of us were gonna go work out tomorrow, so I guess I can bring it up then."

"That would be awesome."

"Sure. Yeah. I'll ask them."

"Thank you. You're the best."

"Debatable, but thanks." He offered me an awkward grin and then ducked his head. "I have a test next week, kind of have to go study some more."

"Yeah, of course. Sorry for dragging you out here. Thanks again."

"No problem, pal."

***

I spent most of Saturday waiting for Cole to text.

"For God's sake, just text him," Meg said, watching me check my phone for the millionth time.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't want him to think I'm annoying."

She rolled her eyes. "He won't think that."

"You don't know that."

"Oh, but I do."

"You don't."

"I do."

"How?"

"Magic."

I scoffed.

"Okay, fine, forget it. But hey, since you're not doing anything, can you do me a teeny tiny favor?"

"I guess."

"Text Cole."

"Screw you."

Meg laughed. "Come on. I know you want to text him. I'm just giving you permission."

"I don't want him to—"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Look. If he thinks you're annoying, you can blame me for telling you to text him. How's that?"

"Not helpful."

"Oh well. I tried. So don't text him."

"I won't."

"Okay. Cool."

I set my phone on the coffee table and laid back on the couch, only to sit up again a moment later to grab my phone.

Not to text Cole, if that's what you were thinking.

No.

Tik Tok.

No, not Tik Tok.

Pinterest.

I opened Pinterest, scrolled for maybe three minutes before I got bored and closed it again. Stupid Saturdays.

"I need to go for a walk," I said.

"Have fun."

"You don't want to tag along?"

"I just figured you... Do you want me to?"

"I dunno."

"Yes or no?"

"Ughhhh." I rolled onto the floor and laid there on my back. I turned my phone on again and went on Tik Tok.

*** ***