how to catch feelings

92

They had probably been gone for an hour when my phone buzzed.

I paused the show I was watching and reached for my phone. Ended up having to unplug it because the stupid cord wasn't long enough.

It was Cole.

Something fluttered in my chest.

Spiders on the move?

Or was I having heart palpitations?

I shook away that thought.

"Did you go?" he was asking.

"To the party?"

"Yeah."

"No."

"Me neither."

"Ah."

"So what are you doing?"

"Watching I AM A KILLER. You?"

"Working on homework."

"Fun."

"Not really. Can't focus."

"Sorry." I tacked on a sad face. One of the really sad frowny faces.

The conversation kind of died there, so I hit play.

And then paused again a minute later.

I grabbed my phone. "Wanna watch a movie?" I asked.

"Okay."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I have popcorn."

"Yeehaw."

I didn't know when he'd be over, so I shut my laptop down and leaped from my bed to take care of a few things. You know, pee, make sure my hair wasn't a total rats' nest, check the living room for anything super weird like illustrations of infections.

All good.

Within minutes, there was a knock on the front door.

I hustled back downstairs, having been up in my room for some last second tidying.

I wasn't about to invite him upstairs, but it made me feel better to know that my room wasn't a trash pit while a guest was over.

My phone buzzed, presumably Cole texting to say he was outside.

Well, no point in answering if I was about to fling the door open.

Sure enough, he was on his phone.

"Hey. Sorry. I was upstairs."

"No problemo."

I stood back so he could walk inside.

He kicked his shoes off on the mat and then shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Take your coat off," I said. "Stay a while."

I was hoping he'd lighten up, but maybe that was a little too much to hope for.

"Can I get you anything to drink? Or popcorn?"

"I'm good, thanks."

"Suit yourself." I grabbed a popcorn bag from the cupboard and threw it in the microwave. "I'ma have some. And if you change your mind... well, it's there."

"Right."

Was I being too chatty? Who knew? Not me.

"Any idea what you wanna watch? We have Netflix, Disney+, DVDs..."