how to catch feelings

71

Saturday morning I set about brainstorming my next move where the Dax/Harding/drug situation was concerned.

As it turned out, I still had absolutely no clue where to go next, but Kat's little pep talk at least gave me the motivation to start pulling at random loose strings again.

I ended up playing my fifteen minutes of Candy Crush and then uploading a couple class syllabi to web print. I could've just released them at the nearest living center, but I needed a walk.

So instead I went all the way across campus to the library to print.

Alright, maybe I had ulterior motives, but it was two days before the semester started, so why would Cole be in the library anyway? There wasn't any homework or studying to be done yet.

I was just going to the library to print. Just taking a walk. Getting some fricking cold fresh air.

Gotta love Michigan winters, eh?

However, as you might expect, there weren't many people in the library.

I released my syllabi from the printer and started the trek back to the dorm.

Just as I reached the doors leading out of the engineering department, I remembered I still needed to pick up my textbooks. Might as well while I was out and about.

So I backtracked, heading back the way I came and then going upstairs so I could use the enclosed walkways on the second floor. Why go outside when you can go ten minutes out of your way and stay warm?

I reached the bookstore a little sweaty and out of breath (good God, why did I always walk so fast?). I pulled up my booklist on my phone and then went inside.

A couple dozen others were milling about, checking out sale items, office supplies, apparel, and, of course, textbooks.

I made a beeline for the stacks, particularly the English section.

In the next aisle over, I overheard a couple freshmen musing aloud about finding the required books for their chem class. To my relief, a worker approached them before I could left myself be guilted into helping them myself.

Half a dozen books for a single English class, racking up to a decent fifty-odd dollars in rental fees.

I moved on to the books for my major, tucked away as usual in the back between psychology and sociology.

And that's when, as I rounded the corner, I almost jumped out of my skin.

"Oh, hey," Cole said.

"Um. Hi."

"Getting your books?"

"Yup." I held up the stack of novels.

"Same. I've been putting off my poli sci class, but I guess now is the time to take it."

"Ah. Fun."

"For sure." He squatted to get a better look at the books on a lower shelf.

I slipped past him to the shelves I needed.

Thankfully I would only be picking up an additional three books, one for each class, but one of them didn't have a rental option, only buy. Damn.

"Excited for the new semester?" he asked, standing up again with an expensive-looking poli sci textbook.

"Not particularly."

"Same. What's your schedule look like?"

"Like hell."

He laughed. "I mean same, but no, really. How many credits?"

"Just twelve. I'm a slug."

"Gotcha. I think I'm taking fifteen. Should be fun."

"Oh yeah. Loads."

"You've got the newspaper, though, too."

"I guess. Do you have student teaching?"

"Yeah, on Fridays. Should be interesting."

"For sure. I couldn't do it."

He shrugged. "I don't mind working with kids."

"I would hope not. Imagine being a teacher who hates kids."

"Oh, I've had some of those."

"Yeah, same. They're a real treat."

"Definitely. Oh well. I think the student teaching will be the highlight of my semester, honestly."

"That's good. Good to have something to look forward to."

"I'm sure you've got things to look forward to, too."

"Yeah, sure. Training my replacement. Peacing out as EIC."

"Is it really that bad?" he asked with a laugh.

"No. Not really. But also yes. It's hell."

"But you love it."

"Unfortunately." I shifted my stack of books. They weren't exactly heavy, but holding them was starting to get a little awkward.

"I feel. About baseball. But yeah. I feel."

We were reaching that point where I was running out of things to say.

Should I just make up an excuse to leave?

Before I could come up with something, he started talking again. "Monday still going to be Starbucks day?"

"Oh. I don't know. Maybe. I need to look at my class schedule again. But yeah. Maybe Monday afternoons. I don't know."

"Just wondering."

"Yeah. I think both of my Monday classes are in Williamson Hall, so Starbucks is a little out of the way."

"True."

Well, now it was going to bother me. I swiped out of my booklist and found my schedule. As I thought, both of my classes were across campus. But I found myself fibbing. "Ope. No, one class here in Williamson, one in the Sciences."

"Gotcha, gotcha. That's good. Gotta have that Monday Starbucks."

"Yup."

Cole checked his watch. "You probably have things to do. Newspaper tomorrow?"

"Yeah." I grimaced.

"It'll be fine. You got this."

"Hardly, but thanks."

"No problem. Well, see you around."

"Yeah. See you." Oh my God, I was sweating so bad.

He meandered down the aisle and around the corner, probably in search of the rest of his textbooks.

I sped over to the checkout line. Holy crap, I just wanted to go back to the dorm and lay on the floor until I could calm tf down.

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