how to catch feelings

64

I spent Sunday morning lost in deciphering the night before.

He'd invited me along. That had to mean something, right? Not necessarily that he liked me as anything more than a friend, but still something. So why'd he get all weird? Wandering off alone? Had I done something to make him mad?

I wracked my brain until the section editors had finished their pages, but came up just as confused as I had been the night before.

"You good?" Jess asked after the others had left.

"Yeah." I started rereading a graf for probably the fifth time.

For the life of me, I couldn't focus on the words.

"Are you sure? You've been really quiet today."

That's not to say I was usually obnoxious during production, but she was right, I had been very quiet that day.

"Just thinking about stuff."

"Newspaper stuff?"

"Something like that."

"Is it the Dax Sharp investigation?"

I'd told them all about the little talk with Marcus, and they were kind enough to get angry in my defense.

"A little, but not really."

I glanced over, feeling her eyes on me. Ugh. "Just... boy problems."

"Oh." She rolled her eyes. "That's why I don't bother with em."

"Probably a good call."

"Definitely. But hey. I say go with your gut, whatever the problem is. Your gut's usually right."

"I guess." I picked at my lip, tried to get into reading mode.

Flipping newspaper.

***

I debated scrolling through Tik Tok until I found something funny to send to Cole but decided against it.

Instead I sent a text to Charlize.

"Have you heard from Cole?" I asked.

While I waited for her to respond, I went downstairs to fix dinner for myself.

I'd only had lunch about two hours earlier, but if I waited until too close to the meeting, I wouldn't be able to eat. Hella nervous stomach.

"You never said how last night was," Meg said.

They'd already gone to bed when I got home last night, and they were studying when I got back from the office today. I'd grabbed leftovers from the fridge and gone straight up to my room to eat and take a nap.

So no, I hadn't spoken to them about last night.

"It was alright."

"Deets, Nat. Spill."

I guess I could talk while the water boiled.

I joined them in the living room, taking perch on one of the chairs. "I dunno. We went in Evan's truck and drove through a field for a bit. And then we went to the store to get some food. We had a picnic out by the football field. You know, up on the hill."

"Sure. But how was it?"

Okay, maybe I had a pretty good idea what they were getting at, but I didn't know how to answer.

I shrugged.

My phone buzzed, drawing my attention.

Charlize had responded.

"Cole?" Damaris asked.

"No. Charlize. She was there last night too."

I caught their expressions in my peripheral vision but chose reading the text message over telling them to knock it off.

"No, haven't heard anything. Why? What's up?" Charlize asked.

"Earth to Nat."

I set my phone down. "I don't know, okay? He wandered off and when I found him he was being all weird."

"Weird how?"

"Like... weird. Quiet. I don't know. Like he was thinking or something."

"Did something happen before that?"

"I mean, I don't think so? I don't think I said anything. I guess I could've, but I don't... I don't think I did..."

"Did anyone else say anything?"

"I don't think so. I never heard anything. Unless they texted it to him, I don't think anyone said anything... I really don't know."

Both girls frowned.

"I mean, there was this old lady at the store who made a comment about us being a cute couple or something, but like, come on, she didn't know any better and it didn't mean anything."

There was that look again.

"For crying out loud," I said, fully exasperated. "Now what?"

"That seems to be a crucial piece of the story, pal. And you left it clean out."

"Well, excuse me for not thinking it mattered."

"Good grief, Nat, for someone with straight A's, you're pretty dumb."

"Never said I wasn't." I crossed my arms. "You think that's what he was being weird about? What the old lady said? I mean, come on. It didn't mean anything. How was she supposed to know? It was just a stupid comment."

"I dunno, Nat. Unless you're leaving something else out, that might be it."

"But he was fine right after that. I mean, we were both kind of embarrassed, but nothing crazy." I bit the inside of my cheek. "You really think that was it?"

Meg tapped her pen against his lips and then shrugged.

"You should text him," Damaris said.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to be annoying. And if that thing last night is why he's being weird, I don't want to make it worse."

"You won't make it worse."

"Then clearly you don't know me too well." I got up and went back to the kitchen to check on the water.

Boiling. Perfect.

I dumped in my pasta and reopened Charlize's message.

"Just wondering. I haven't heard from him. After last night, I was just getting a little worried I guess," I said.

"Oh, yeah. Did he say anything last night?"

"Not really."

"I saw he walked with you."

"Yeah. He felt bad about me being out late because I had to work this morning."

"Ah. I wouldn't worry about it too much. You probably know how he just gets kind of quiet sometimes. Gets stuck in his head. You know how that goes."

She was right. Of course she was.

"Right. Okay, thanks."

"Sure thing, girlie. Hey, let me know when you're free, and we'll get lunch."

"Yeah, for sure. Sounds good."

*** ***