Everlark- The Years After the Epilogue *Editing*

Pain

That night, we both lay in bed staring up to the ceiling in complete silence. ''Katniss'',

''Hmm'', I said.

''Come here'', I shuffled up closer to Peeta, where his arm was out waiting for me. I snuggled into his chest and his arm wrapped around my body, slowly stroking my waist. I lay there, breathing in and out, my heart rate slowly returning back to normal from being in Peeta's comfort. ''About earlier, I didn't mean to hurt you. I'd never ever want to do that intentionally, Katniss, you mean the world to me and I-''

''Shhhhh'', I said cutting him off. ''I know, I know. Don't worry, it's over now. Will you tell me what happened?'' I whispered into the darkness. I felt his heart pace pick up, as he tried to take a deep breath.

''I don't even know, I went back to work and I couldn't get you out of my mind, seeing you like that earlier broke me, and then I saw you with Gale outside and it just brought everything back, my mind flickered back to before and when I saw you. I- I-'' He took a deep breath, a single tear falling down his face. ''I wanted to hurt you Katniss. And thinking now it broke me that I thought like that''.

''Peeta'', I whispered. I'd also started to cry. ''I'm so sorry. I should never have left you in the arena, I should never have let them get you and I should never have let them hurt you like that, it's going to be fine. I promise.'' I lifted up my hand and stopped a tear from falling down his face. I couldn't see straight into them, but I stared at his eyes, they were full of pain and sadness.

''It wasn't your fault, how many times do I have to tell you that?'' He said, his hand was stroking down my hair, making me feel at ease. ''It's going to be alright yes?'' He asked, his voice broke down towards the end, and he erupted into a flood of tears. '' I can't lose you Katniss, please don't leave me''.

''I'll never leave you, Peeta.'' I whispered. I nestled my head further into his neck, giving him a small kiss and closing my eyes. He kissed my forehead and just as I was falling to sleep I heard him whisper

''I love you''.

When I woke up, Peeta wasn't beside me. I quickly put on my dressing gown and head into the kitchen where there was a note.

'I couldn't stand it anymore, I'm so sorry for ever hurting you. I never meant to. Tell the kids I love them. I'll look after Prim Katniss, I promise. I love you so much, but you're better off without me. Everyone is. I'll stay with you...Always. Peeta.'

At first it didn't quite sink in, until I realised. 'I'll look after Prim', my whole body collapsed to the ground. How could he think I was better off without him? I couldn't live without him. I needed him. The ink was still quite wet, so he couldn't have been far. I racked my mind of places he could be and then it clicked. He had to be at the old bakery, which now was a piece of overgrown wasteland. I quickly got dressed, put on my boots and left the house. I ran through the village, my heart pounding at finding him in time. I ran up through the meadow and right onto the outskirts of the District. When the Capitol sent fire bombs this part never got renovated, I ran up through all the gravel and onto a hill. There were sadly, still many broken skulls about. Since setting off it had turned really cloudy and I could feel tiny drops of rain falling from the sky, but it didn't matter, nothing else did. All that mattered was finding Peeta. Ahead in the distance I saw a figure of someone kneeling down by the floor. Their strong build hunched over, staring at the remains. I squinted my eyes and it was him. I'd found him ''PEETA'', I screamed. I ran across all the stones and found him holding a knife. I dropped down to my knees and lifted his head up, cupping his chin in my hands. His face was tear stained and his eyes looked so lost. ''its okay, I'm here'', I said, wrapping my arms around him. When he didn't move, I pulled myself away, and looked down at his hands. They were covered in blood. I slowly prised the knife away from him, chucking it across the moor. ''Peeta what have you done?'' He looked up at me and a single tear fell down his face.

''I-I wanted to cause myself as much pain as I'd caused you.'' He managed to croak out, moving his head, gesturing for me to look down at his leg. I looked down and saw a pool of blood and 4 gashes across his good thigh. ''You need to go, leave me, you're better off without me'', he said.

''No, no I'm not, when I saw your letter my whole world collapsed. I need you.'' I said.

''Nobody needs me'', he said, the sad thing was he believed it. But he was wrong I needed him, so did Willow and Rye. We all did.

''Come on we need to get you seen to, it'll be alright. But I swear Peeta, if you pull another stunt like this I don't know what I'll do. Do you understand?'' I said putting on my best 'trying to be angry' impression. He chuckled slightly and I breathed out. I'd got him back.

''Sorry mum'', he joked.

''Come on ,can you stand?'', he gave me a nod and I helped him up, his face wincing with pain as he tried to stand. I wrapped his arm around my neck, giving him a small kiss on his cheek. ''I love you so much, don't ever worry me like that again, come on lets go.''

''I love you too'', we started to head down the hill when suddenly his body became much heavier. His legs gave way and he fell to the floor. Behind us was a trail of blood.

''Peeta'' I said, shaking his body. ''PEETA'', I screamed trying to wake him. His eyes flickered but he didn't reply. I listened for his heart , but all I could hear was a painfully slow beat...